Thursday, July 31, 2003

i don know

well todae lots of stuff were clarified n i tink it's safe to say this chapter is ending n another chapter is beginning... i really hope this incident will turn out to be a blessing in disguise in the sense tt everyone involved will understand each other better. well frm an "outsider's" point of view, i tink this may just have the ability to bring u all closer. anw, i have a story to share...shall not say whether it's a true story or not... it's abt someone who feels very frustrated with life...who feels tt sometimes ppl take her for granted n now she's trying to talk to herself to clear her mind:

well sometimes i tink tt i can be so cynical abt life. i tink tt life is one such unpredictable mess. n sometimes i tink i'm losing grip of my thoughts. y am i here doing all these tings? i'm just so freaking frustrated with my life... to u bunch of ppl out there... i don wish to name, i don wish to pin point but u ppl tink i'm just a freaking joker rtie? tt i'm someone u can always count on to make u laugh? n tt u can say some stuff to me tt u wont say to other ppl n expect me to laugh abt it n not take it seriously? when u know i'm unhappy u wont bother to ask cos i'll be right as rain in a matter of moments? or else u say smthg u tink is "funny" but in fact hurts me more to indicate tt u r just joking? wat do u tink i am? a bloody fool? u all obviously take me for granted n don treat me seriously rite? in ur eyes, i'm probably someone who doesnt take anyting seriously. i'll just laugh anyting n everyting off. n even if i get angry, i wont stay angry for long. cos ya, i will just shrug anyting n everyting off. rite? u r rite. but do u know i'm human too? u tink i cant feel hurt? u tink i don get unhappy? but u noe wat? i tink u all wont give a damn cos ya, i'm just so freaking cheerful everyday. wat do u tink i am? a freaking laughing machine? i'm freaking pissed with u all rite now. u know y i look so freaking cheerful everyday? so full of smiles? cos i know if i go all silent n unhappy, u all wil tink tt there's smthg freaking wrong with me n "leave me alone with my thoughts". when u all r unhappy n go like "oh i'm so stressed out", u can count on me to provide some cheers but can i expect the same of u ppl? i tink n i tink n i tink the ans is no. cos u all don give a damn. so laughter n being cheerful is the only way i know how to "fit in" with u all. do u know sometimes i'm sick of being cheerful in front of u all tt i just want to retreat into my shell? tt's why now i've been more subdued than usual. do u tink i'm happy this way? no. but guess wat? u don really freaking care, do u? "oh she wont stay angry at us for long one la"... tt's true, i'm not one to bear brudges n stay angry at a person for long but do i know tt i can still feel anger? it's just tt i don show it in front of u all. when everything gets too much for me to bear, tt's when i explode. but even then, i wont do it in public. even if i feel like crying, i wont cry in public. i'll just shed a few silent tears n keep the whole ting to myself. cos i'm just a freaking proud person n crying in public makes me feel vulnerable n weak. i don want the whole freaking world to see my weakest side. i don even know if u all will eventually understand me more... i don tink so esp since u all tink i'm such a "smiley"person, nth can bother me... but can i beg this of u all? can u all pls be kinder to me? if ur idea of smthg tt resembles an apology when u know tt u hurt me is saying more suanning stuff to hint to me tt i shld take it as a joke, den pls, don bother to apologise. i cant take this way of apology. everytime u try to n actually do tt, i feel like strangling n shouting at u. pls, if u cant bear to even say "okayy la, i shldnt have said tt" or "aey i don min it la" (n i'm not expecting the word "sorry" to come out frm ur mouth) den don try to say or do anyting else tt is a travesty of an apology. i hope tings will change for the better. i know u all probably wont read this n hence probably will nv find out i'm actually this freaking pissed with u all. but i have to say this out... i feel much better now. i still feel kinda lost n still frustrated but i guess i'll maintain tt smile on the outside as tt's the only way i know how to block certain problems from my heart n to be the perceived "normal" me tt u all know. life is a mess. wat the freak.

p.s. i'm sorrie with the alarming number of "freakings" n "damns" but i tink it is the only adequate enough way to express someone's feelings esp when she feels as frustrated as the person above. i wanted to use the other f word tt sounds suspiciously like "duck" n "luck" but aft some self-censorship, i decided not to use it.


------ Wednesday, July 30, 2003

to e

to e:

well i hafta let u know tt there r certain tings going thru my mind now n i tink i have to get them organised or risk getting bound by them. 1stly, the reason y i'm writing this to u instead of telling u str is tt i don tink i can adequately express wat i min to say to u if i tell u face to face. i'm sure to miss out some stuff... 2ndly, i tink it's better u get to tink abt this b4 u decide to do anyting abt it. well here goes:

i know u r feelin pretty distraught (is tt the right word?) aft reading 2 ppl's blog but i really tink it's not ur fault... i stand by my view that the other person involved in this whole ting is the one who started it. so u don hafta feel too affected over it okayy...wat's meant to happen will happen. i tink u cant really fault the 2 ppl who wrote abt the bee n the flower cos i tink wat they write isn't cpmpletely false...there's some truth to it. wu2 feng1 bu4 qi3 lang4 u know? anw, i hope one of them has clarified with u wat he meant to say... hope u feel a bit better... but ya, as i said earlier, i tink it's not ur fault...so don be too upset okayy?

well anw, b just called me to talk abt some stuff abt the 3 of us... n actually i hafta tell u i sort of guessed it liao. wat i don understand is how come u r so unwilling to tell it str to me? i know u may find it diff to tell me some stuff but ya, i thought we know each other well enough to be able to talk openly abt this. i'm not feeling disappointed with u n not feeling hurt just bcos u didnt tell me... i'm just kinda confused as to y u would tell b n not me when it involves us? i just want u to know tt nth out of the ordinary is happening n tt u shldn't be feeling the way u r feeling now. if in any way it was smthg tt i did tt made u feel tt way in the 1st place, then i sincerely apologise to u. watever tt has happened to make u feel tt way is over liao... i know u may tink tt u r squashed (is tt the correct word to use?) btwn b n me but tt's not true. if u tink smthg shld happen btwn b n me, well....den do wat u tink is rite for u to do as i don have the power to stop u or tell u wat u shld do but don act this way...it's scaring me a little cos i've nv seen u this way b4. as i've said earlier, wat's meant to happen will happen... u gotta live ur life as usual. if u need to talk abt anyting at all, don hesitate to call me. i'm always here...nv gonna run away...not from u.

love,
me


------

this is me...now

well todae is nth much to speak of la...so boring. really cant tink of anyting interesting tt happened the whole day... haiz... cant tahan studying liao, so here i m at the comp lab...
i was tinking todae: is it possible tt a person can want smthg so much but yet knows the more he wants it, the further it will get? it's like the more u yearn for smthg, the more u realise it may not be yours. actually i also dunoe how come i will tink this way but it just occured to me. maybe its bcos i read too much harry potter...haha. it's like, the more harry yearns for family, the more he cant get it...first his parents died, den he found his godfather but he cannot stay with him...den his godfather died...okayy i noe this is a bad analogy but i was tinking along the same line. den i realised tt this feeling will definitely be very awful. well i dunoe abt it... i don tink anyting i felt has ever come close to tt... hmm todae seems to be a very reflective day for me.
was tinking abt some stuff tt a fren said in cryptic language...i tink i knoe wat he is referring to...itz actually quite obvious u know? well if wat u said was really wat i tink it is, i hafta say i kinda agree with u...i've noticed tt too. acty i've been tinking like, how weird, how come he's so like tt one? but i don tink buaya is the right word to describe him lei... like wat he's doing is not the typical buaya kind... well if wat u said is not wat i tink den....uhm, too bad la. ahahaaha.

yup, yesterday was the start of the lunar 7th month... seen a lot of ppl burning joss sticks n everyting tt comes along with the lunar 7th month... well this is all part of tradition i guess. okayy tink comp lab is closing soon...

cos i am hanging on every word u said
even when if u don wanna speak tonite
it's alright, alright with me
cos i want nth more than to
sit outside heaven's door n listen to u breathing
it's all i wanna be yeah....

yup, as u can c, i'm still stuck on this song =) ciao.


------ Tuesday, July 29, 2003

if it's me

well finally c gb n yv on 13 todae...but still, smthg seems to happen everytime i take 13...todae i forgot to bring out my ez-link card when i rush out of my hse. the talk early this morn was quite boring... my attention wandered away soon after tt guy showed some ppc curve (??!?) in his presentation...den fell aslp as usual, only woke up when someone asked abt gays in the army...hahaa.
anw, i talked to hy during the whole of chem lec todae n it was quite nice... talked abt travelling overseas... seems like she is somewat of an ambassador for korea...keep telling me how nice the place is. well, i'm more into those european countries, with the green lands, the lakes n the castles...of knights n ladies, pinces n princesses...haha...like in fairyland like tt rite? i vow, i will at least go to italy, manchester n greece...
anw, phy prac todae sux...acty it is okayy to most ppl, just tt it happened to be on my least fave object...the irritating ting called the potentiometer with the galvonometer n the jockey too...haiz...went home aft phy prac... hy was quite suay. she wanted to cross the bridge to take bus but 2 disgusting ppl were there, den if she don cross the bridge, she will run into her "sworn enemy"... poor ting. anw, the bus journey was horrible todae. so silent on the bus, den it was v cold too n the bus seemed to be crawling along...maybe it was travelling behind a bike...hahaa.

anw, i get the impression tt someone is not behaving normally todae. i can feel it... wat's wrong? if it's bcos of smthg i said or done unknowingly, u must tell me okayy... partly bcos if i'm involved den don keep me in the dark, if not i'll nv know n i'll feel uneasy abt this n partly bcos u'll feel better if u say it out... call me if u want to talk abt it okayy...


------ Monday, July 28, 2003

Well todae is a normal Monday… in the morn, I was trying to make my way to the bus stop when gb msged to say he took the early 13 instead. Seems lyk smthg always happen when we try to take 13 to sch…
Den during econs lec, all the gals except me n cheng pon the lec, saying tt they cant catch wat cook is trying to say anw. Ya so fun,left me n cheng sitting there lyk 2 muggers…haha. Den during break, smthg tt sq say in class just made me snap…I min, I didn’t snap out at sq la but I was seriously quite pissed with sq. so I didn’t talk to her for the better part of the day. But I tink she didn’t realise I was pissed with her cos she asked me “y u look so lifeless todae? Very tired ah? How come u everyday so tired one huh?” so I just looked at her n said “ya” lor…cant expect me to say “no, it’s juz tt I’m pissed with u” mah…I realise I’m getting more n more pissed with some ppl in my class. The guys…those tt I cannot stand since last yr, I still cannot stand them now, althou it’s better this yr. Those tt I can stand, still quite ave la. The gals, not tt I cannot stand them la. They r nice ppl, juz tt they’re not really uhm…of the same frequency...smthg lyk tt. hope tings get better tmr.
went home with gb...took 13 n guess wat? we saw two 31 at the mlb area... haiz. but the journey on 13 seems pretty fast. ya anw, seems lyk sat nite was so real tt i heard some eh, interesting comments... ya yv ah, gb told me abt it liao. so tt's u don wan to tell me huh? aiyoh.......

anw, genia intro this song to me n now, i'm totally into this song:

"Breathing" by Lifehouse
I'm finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don't really know what I'm gonna do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace

Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright alright with me
Cause I want nothing more than to
Sit outside Heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be yeah
Where I wanna be

I am looking past the shadows
Of my mind into the truth and I'm trying to identify
The voices in my head
God which one is you
Let me feel one more time
What it feels like to feel alive
And break these calluses off of me
One more time

Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside your door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be yeah

I don't want a thing from you
Bet you're tired of me waiting
For the scraps to fall Off of your table to the ground
Cause I just want to be here now

Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright alright with me
Cause I want nothing more than to
Sit outside Heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be yeah
Where I wanna be



------ Sunday, July 27, 2003

dreams

well slack at home todae... was tinking of asking celia they all out (cos yesterday in the cab, yv said smthg tt reminded me a lot of celia n i realised how much i miss them...) but den i feel quite tired... woke up abt 12.45pm den i am having a headache now... anw, i'm blogging now to write abt the dream i had last nite. it was a nightmare man...

i was at some place...i cannot remember where but it was someone's hse... my whole family was there. den i felt smthg weird with my teeth, lyk u know, when u r young n the milk teeth starts shaking? onli this is worse cos i know my teeth r not milk teeth anymore...itz hurting lyk crazy... i can feel the pain even thou i'm dreaming... den all of a sudden, the teeth got dislodged. i started screaming n i went to rinse my mouth cos it was totally bloody. den dunoe y oso, it felt better. but barely 5 mins later, the tooth nxt to the one tt dropped began to hurt n it got bloody again n when i went to rinse it, the tooth dropped out... i remember i was in intense pain n i started screaming for my dad. n guess wat? he told me to go for an INJECTION. oh yucks... i woke up aft tt. when i woke up, i instinctively reached for my mouth to feel for ther area where the teeth dropped in my dream... luckily it's still there. tink this must be a sign tt maybe i shld take greater care if my teeth... if not i will be toutured by the dentist...

anw, i had a very funny dream on fri nite. i dreamt tt i had just finished tuition den my dad n my bro came to fetch me. den my dad's car was darn zai...lyk the knight bus in harry potter lyk tt... no one can c it, n it can go super super fast n all other things lyk buildings, trees, other cars etc will siam it one... anw, we were blazing in my dad's car n i kept saying "i wan to go yio chu kang, i wan to go yio chu kang!" hahahahaaa... i was having lotsa fun.......but den i woke up even b4 i reached yio chu kang in my dreams. sigh.
i tink i have tt dream bcos me, yv n gb were tinking of going to jalan kayu, which is near yio chu kang, to eat prata n i was saying tt i will find out how to get to jalan kayu so tt i can score the point for good prata... hahaha, really is ri4 you2 suo3 si1, ye4 you3 suo3 meng4 (wat u tink of during the day, u will dream abt it at nite).

yesterday at mph, i saw this book abt understanding n interpreting ur dreams... went to check out wat it mins when i dream abt cars... turns out tt it mins i will nv have a life of great luxury but i can live a modest n comfortable life... juz lyk i will nv own a luxurious car, just a normal one... oh well just as well, even if i'm filthy rich nxt time, i must be modest rite? hahaaha.... den i saw this book on scorpio n i went to c scorpio woman with a cancer man... it said smthg abt we'll be comfortable 2gthr, tt he's the kind who'll bake apple pies for me n serve lemon tea...smthg lyk tt... well, date, i'm waiting okayy.... where's my apple pie? =)

okayy okayy, tink i shall go complete my sampling assgn n den go on to do lipids tutorial liao... so muggish i know but the sooner i clear my tutorials, the sooner i can start prelims revision. cya all in sch tmr...


------

all abt my date tonite

aiyah acty it's yesterday nite la but ya, who ask me to blog only now?
well went to the mac near my hse to mug with my date-to-be in the morn til aftnn. as usual, he was late... but ya, we finally got the corner seat...thx to me la. haha... not bad, i managed to finish sampling tutorial, left with the last sampling assgn qn.. we left mac at abt 3+ to go home to uh, prepare for our date later... i was saying lyk, aiyah got a lot of time la but in the end, i was the latest one... i'm so sorrie... but no harm done la rite? cos me, gb n yv took a cab down to pkway parade den in the end, only mike was earlier than us. jz n his gf turned up some time later n des ah, zhong4se 4 qing1 you3...went on a rendezvous with his date la..... ya, frm tt point onwards, the date tingy kicked rite in la. everyting was said in terms of "your date" this, "my date" tt, den we'll always agree with wat our dates said...hahaha... had dinner at pastamania but it was quite funny bcos of the "date" mode...a bit, no, quite mushy at times...looking at menus, cutting pizza...wah it was really quite serious.

the concert was quite okayy i guess...to a relatively ignorant person on the topic of jazz n classical music lyk me, it sounded okayy... des didnt sit with us, was with his mei at the last row, claiming tt where we sit is too near the side liao... excuses la... haha. during the interlude, we all went to take pix n they gave the cheapskate flowers to alexis n may may...jz said he realised the flower stalks looked lyk long beans...haahaa. ya den mike left to meet his mum so yv was left without a date...haiz, y u choose him as ur date?.... anw the 2nd part of the concert was so so...maybe it's bcos i was getting bored with all the piano pieces tt somehow sounded similar to each other. but i lyk the self-composed "longing for u"... tink itz v nice but my date say it didnt sound original...but being the ever-good date, he still said it really sounded nice thou...thx a lot. =) anw, i fell aslp during the supposedly "long-awaited" performance by the guest pianists jeremy monteiro n michael veerapen... the pieces r too long la n i was quite tired...

aft the concert, everyone went their separate ways...left with me, gb n yv as usual, so we decided to go to balestier to eat prata...i was craving for iced milo man... i got my wish la, the iced milo was quite nice but the prata ah...cannot make it, tasted lyk cold dough...ewww. aft supper, we left for home...no more bus 125 service liao so we decided to walk home instead... walked with yv to her house den gb walked me home... reached home slightly aft midnite...

well, it's been a nice day, had my long-awaited date......the day (n nite) is funny n memorable in it's own way... all the "date" tingy going around, really quite mushy....ya guobin: u've been a good date too.. always supporting me too... n i shall say this again: i lyk the way u dress todae... haha... ya i had lotsa fun todae. thx. =) ya n thx, everyone, for making the nite so fun...

p.s. gb, do u realise now u r my ex-date? cya around... =)


------ Friday, July 25, 2003

all for my date

decided to go for pe this morn...went to play tennis. initially is hy n i play on 1 court den jim they all play on the other court. aft some time, gerald n justin came n ask us if we wanna play with them. we were lyk "we're damn un-pro one" den we sorta declined them but they said they quite un-pro oso so in the end, i end up playing tennis with 2 guys i dunoe n gerald IS got standard one.....ya so happening huh? rest of the sch day passed by monotonously, n i fell aslp sitting str up during econs again...was kept awake during the last half hr of econs thx to ling. we were talking abt gic n she was tinking of "making him hers in one mth" so tt she don have to pay the tuition fees. hahaha.
went r2 to do work aft lessons ended den i heard frm yv tt gb, ed n des going to play pool cos they got some disocunt tingy. felt so tempted to go too but yv don wan to go n i don wan to go alone n face those (relatively) pros...so in the end stayed in r2 instead...
left for far east at 4+...had a good time shopping around...i tink i'm getting more shopaholic liao...i remember in sec 4 tt time n even last yr, i wasnt so shopaholic one...i can tahan not shopping for new stuff. but now... got lobang n valid excuse to shop, i will go...anw, todae i wanted to c if i can get a top for tmr...n in the end, i bought a halter at cotton candy...quite happy cos i tink it's quite nice. yv said smthg abt my date's eyes n ice-cream...to cheem for me to catch but the gist is tt he stand to gain la....so lc ah, yv... ya den yv wanted a skirt for tmr but in the end she didnt buy any but she bought a pair of ear rings instead... talk abt ear rings, gb n yv were trying to get me to get my ears pierced...i min, wat's up with tt man? i tell u all i hate having anyting piercing thru my skin n u all hafta ask me to get my ears pierced...i almost got pulled by gb into some body piercing shop....EEEKKS. 4get it la, i'm scared of needles n anyting tt have the potential to pierce thru my skin... a bright note thou: i WILL consider getting my ears pierced...... if u gvie me a million dollars for doing it. oh, price is negotiable =)


------ Thursday, July 24, 2003

thurs

well i wanted to take the earlier bus to sch... but den tt gb msged at the last min to say he missed the earlier bus...chey make me rush for nth...so we took 13 in the end... reached sch in good time, can stroll to the hall...
ya anw, sch was so so todae i guess. acty i cant remember much abt tut, juz tt lbm "commented" on my ability to fall aslp sitting str up in class. aey i wasnt rude okayy. itz juz tt we finish doing the macro part 3 quiz liao den she was collecting it den she will leave liao so lessons' sorta over liao, but den i was darn tired so i sorta fell aslp unknowingly la. so when she abt to leave, she use her paper to hit my head (n i hate tt) n said "wah jiahui ah, sit lyk tt oso can fall aslp ah huh?" lyk wat's new............
aft sch, i couldnt tahan den juz went to eat lunch at abt 2,den aft lunch juz go str back to r1 n do econs la... hafta hand in essay approach tmr n she wanna go thru macro pt 3 case study...the case study is freaking difficult to do...totally crapping my way thru the qns. haiz...did work until abt 4.40 den had to go for tuition. oh edwin so lucky...got to go down to pkway with 5 chiobus (me, joyce, ling, lil, hy)... anw, todae's topics were gravitation n circular motion...freaking tough. ya den tuition ended at abt 7.40 but den hy they all wanted to watch holland v so we all watched holland v at gic's hse...left his hse at 8pm n went to pkway to buy some stuff den by the time i got on the bus, it was 8.30 liao n i was starving...
yup tt's my day todae...OH SHUCKS, i juz remembered tt i still hafta do phy paper...n i tot i onli left case study to do... ya dunoe wat's gonna happen tmr la...yv, i wanna play carom... hahaha aiyah tmr's stuff tmr den say la huh...dunoe will go shopping or not too...ohh my date was juz saying tt he dunoe whether he shld get a new shirt for sat or not... awww i'm touched............... ahahaha. yup, gotta do my work now. sighz, seems lyk itz gonna be another late nite for me again. n i'm totally exhausted. cya.


------ Wednesday, July 23, 2003

happy birthday mummy

well todae is my mum's birthday... happy birthday mummy!!
hah, i wanted to buy the maybelline water shine diamond lipstick for her cos she said b4 tt it's very nice. but in the end, i dunoe wat colour to buy n ya, i'm running a HUGE deficit this week...guess i'll hafta get her a belated present den... aiyah mummy ah, daddy bought u a diamond pendant liao... mine will seem so insignificant rite? hahaha.... i promise i'll get ya smthg...juz tt not when i'm running a deficit...=)
anw, i specially composed this for u:

have i ever told you i love you?
have i ever told you how much u mean to me?
well i do love you
n u do mean a lot to me
remember the times when we quarrel over the most trivial of things
the times when u had to force me to drink all the funny herbal stuff u concoct
the times when u tried to make me go to bed when i was watching smallville
the times u tried to stop me from waking up in the dead of the nite to watch man utd
i will not forget
thou i may have argued with u n thou i may have raised my voice
i wanna tell u i never did mean all those things i said tt made u angry
thanx for all the tings u did for me n tried to make me do
i know u mean the best for me
so on this very special day tt is the 23rd of july
i wanna wish u
with the bottom of my heart
n in my sincerest voice:
happy birthday mummy
i love you =)


------

seoul fiesta!

Well didn’t blog yesterday cos nth much happened…todae is a much more interesting day. Went to seoul garden for lunch todae with yv, gb, des n jz. Their lessons ended earlier than mine so they went to marina square first, den when I reached seoul garden at abt 3pm, I juz walked rite in without paying…hahahahaa. Den just eat la, don care la. So in the end, the bill for 4 ppl was split evenly among 5 ppl n each one of us paid abt $3 lesser. Yeah… anw, I tink I ate A LOT…finished one n a half plates of meat, lots of crab sticks n ice-cream… well tt’s my breakfast, lunch, dinner, tmr’s breakfast n if I can tahan, tmr’s lunch oso… ya eating with gb n des makes me feel fat cos I was lyk halfway thru my meal den gb n des were full liao…gb ended up peeling egg shell for yv, adding garlic for the food for us……. Ya so long nv eat at seoul garden liao.. feels kinda nice to be back there again…okayy okayy it was mainly due to the cheaper price……..=)
Yup, went walking arnd aft our eating fiesta. Yv wanted to buy a skirt for sat’s concert, the guys wanted shirts, I wanted a top if I can c a nice one… acty I shld jian3 fei2, considering my uh, “date” is so skinny……haiz, shall start tmr…wateva la huh… ya den when we were walking frm marina to suntec, me, gb n des decided to carry out our “plan” to leave jz n his no 4 behind…unfortunately they found out too soon… hey I’m onli taking revenge okay, yv… ya den we went suntec… oh when we were at an escalator, yv’s shoelace got stuck at the end of the escalator n she sorta lyk almost tripped over… it scared her for quite some time….ya tink it’s quite scary to get ya shoe lace stuck. But look on the bright side, yv, luckily it’s nt ya shoe tt got stuck… anw, went to mango to shop n I saw this halter tt’s really quite nice… n itz onli $16… ya so ke3 xi1 don have my size liao… arrggh muz really go n jian3 fei2 liao =(
Ya den we left for home slightly aft 7…took 133…oh at the bus stop, yv finally said smthg tt revealed her “feelings”. She said “acty not all cat high guys r lyk tt la, onli u” hahaha den jz insisted she was defending a certain mr E…. ahahahaa… ya den on the bus we started discussing abt sat nite’s concert n who shld give AS the flowers…n we came up with the conclusion tt yv shld do it since she’s closest to him amongst those of us who r going for the concert… had quite an amusing conversation abt some stuff…
Anw, heard this song when I was at marina square… quite an old song n I tink itz really v nice…here’s an extract:

Too many hearts are broken
A lover’s promise never came with a maybe
So many words are left unspoken
The silent voices are driving me crazy
After all the pain u caused me
Making up could never be your intention
You’ll never know how much u hurt me
Stay, cant u see
That I… wanna fall from the stars
Straight into your arms
And I… I feel you
I hope u comprehend…
~"Stars" by Simply Red

okayy i know this is a break-up song but still... it's a nice one =)


------ Monday, July 21, 2003

la la la monday

okayy todae also nth much to say, juz tt i'm pretty amazed by yv for her eh, amazing ability to come up with innovative nicknames. well i asked her to come up with a new nickname for someone so tt we can talk abt some one n she came up with nyny... uh huh.... SO innovative... shall nt say wat nyny mins if nt den it'll be super obvious who we're talking abt... ya den on the bus, we were talking abt her crushie...( don worry, ed, itz just ur name suddenly came up when we were talking). itz lyk this: seems like jz, des n qd r bringing their darlings to the piano ensemble concert so left her n mike so she asked me so tt we can all be the lightbulbs. well i shall c if i can find another person so tt we can all be 2 pairs of lightbulbs... ya mike, heard tt u're picking her up in a "limo"?? somehow i got the feelin tt this wont happen =) ya anw, so we were tinking of going shopping on either fri or sat den i remembered tt got tuition on fri i tink so ya, somehow her crushie's name came up...of cos, since he's my *fInGeRs SUPER cRoSsEd* shuai4-est tuition pal... haha shall not divulge exactly wat we said...juz tt it's smthg abt "thy shall not covet anyting tt is thy neighbour's".....it was hilarious :)

anw, suddenly thought of this song when i was taking a bath...suddenly this song somehow spoke to me.

i go to school n i run n play
i tell the kids tt it's all okayy
i laugh aloud so my frens wont know
when the bell rings i just don wanna go home
go to my room n i close my eyes
i make bliv tt i have a new life
i don bliv u when u say
everything will be wonderful someday

promises mean everything when u're little n the world is so big
i just don understand how
u can smile with all those tears in your eyes
n tell me everything is wonderful now
~"Wonderful" by Everclear


------ Sunday, July 20, 2003

home for a day

well i decided to be guai1 todae n stayed at home... acty it's oso partly bcos i'm v tired...lyk feeling a bit burned out...must be bcos of fri n sat. ya woke up aft noon den tried to study aft i had brunch. objective word is TRIED la cos i ended up reading harry potter again aft studying for barely half an hr... haiz i really cannot study at home, too much distractions liao. den went to my maternal granny's cos i miss her n home-cooked food n guess wat? i went at the rite time cos tonite's dinner was oooh...chicken n veggie curry... absolutely fantastic! the curry is really one of a kind... itz nice but yet not too unhealthy cos evryone in the family is pretty health conscious. YUM.
tried to do numerical methods juz now but am unable to concentrate...gave up aft 2 qns n here i am again =) ya todae is not a happening day for me, except for the eh, curry la...
anw, remember tt time i said smthg some weird conflicting emotions tt i've been experiencing? well, when i woke up todae, i was suddenly reminded of it. eh how to say lei? i was still lai4-ing chuang2 den i felt those conflicting emotions more at tt instant. it kinda took me by surprise cos i didnt expect those feelings to strike me at tt point in time. i tink i am beginning to comprehend a wee bit abt wat i'm feeling but still, it's sort of lyk smthg foreign to me, i don really get the full picture n wat all those r supposed to min n lyk i've said, i'm not too sure if i wanna figure it out at all. i min, i do welcome changes once in a while cos with changes bring improvements but this is really lyk foreign terrority to me so i suppose i feel a bit unsure of myself too. well these tings happen n i suppose come the time when i will hafta face it, i will. for now, tink i shld eh, let nature run its own course? erm, smthg lyk tt la.


sometimes when u try to deny it
u feel more bound by it
sometimes when u try to ignore it
the more u will be hit by it
u cant deny wat's happening to u
n wat's changing within u
the more u hide it
the more u will be affected by it
those confusing thoughts u tink
those lost moments u've been thru
they're but a part of life
thou it's hard, u've got to face it
however lost u may feel
however confused u may become
u can only overcome it if u face it


this is sort of lyk a reminder to myself...well good nite :)


------

rekindled interest

Well had tuition in the morn at 9am… den aft tuition, we (me, Edwin, gb, yv, des n jz) went to play pool…lyk how long haven’t I touched pool liao…must’ve been over a year man…tot I’d be super sucky at pool but in the end, I enjoyed playing pool with them…althou is really quite sucky la but still, I had fun so tt made up for evryting else. Now I feel lyk my dormant interest in pool has been rekindled…n I feel lyk playing pool again…all ya’ll fault la………… haha, den went to makan parade to eat my fave ban mian…oso long time nv eat liao.
Went back to vj for college day… oh jim intro-ed the hei1 dou4 nai3 (black soya bean drink) to me n I tink it’s really quite nice, but I stil tink the original soya bean drink is nicer… went to lt 5 to watch the college day proceedings n den des n gb started playing tt game involving the hands ‘killing’ each other off…dunoe how to translate the name of the game la…but it was super funny seeing them playing tt I laughed lyk crazy… den I showed ed the 3-card magic trick n I tink I successfully made him confused =) Edwin, don deny okayy. Anw, goh kept coming in so we oso cannot play cards den we hadta go to the rockwall there to “support” the ppl at the rockwall… kenna picked by goh…but otherwise, college day was nth much abt our college for me…
Aft college day, we (me, gb, yv, ed, des, jz n zj) went to whampoa market to ta bao dinner to yv’s hse…was quite surprised tt ed came cos frm wat I’ve heard, ed is not the kind to go out often, den he came queensway with us yesterday n to yv’s todae so ya, I don deny tt I was quite surprised. Apparently, everyone except me, gb n yv seemed to tink tt the dist btwn yv’s hse n my hse is quite far…hmm still tink my hse location is the best…got so many buses n near nel some more. my hse rocks =) but ya anw, we started playing mahjong aft dinner. At 1st is me, gb, zj n des play one, den ed was watching er, s-league match btwn sembawang (NOT Serangoon okay) n jurong on ch i… den I went on a losing streak while gb went on a winning streak…I didn’t win anyting at all…den ed came to our table n yv n jz ah…were in yv’s room, doing wat oso no one knows…hmmm… n des ah, wah lao, really the best liao. Said smthg but I tink I shan’t repeat it here if nt both yv n jz will kill me. Anw, yv came to take over my place aft some time n den aft ed n jz left, I changed places to sit nxt to gb n guess wat? Yv (playing under my name) started winning bit by bit n in the end, won one 5 tai2 game tt recuperated all my losses….. hahaha…n needless to say, it effectively ended gb’s winning streak. So both des n zj lost money…zj claims tt it’s bcos we put her as mrs ng...hahahahaa... we left yv's hse at nearing 11.30pm n took a cab with the mahjong money tt zj n des lost to me n gb, so yupz, i got a ride rite to my void deck =) i expected to step into a dark hse but it turned out tt evryone in my hse juz got back nt too long ago. evryone is so happening tonite =)
ya anw, aiyoh ed n gb, u 2 v gay todae lei!! on the bus ed was practically leaning onto gb... n the 2 of them had to share the ear phones when both of them have their own players...eh i got nth agst gays la but ahem....image la okayy.....ed i'm quite disappointed with u...i tot u were so *fIngErS SUPER cRoSSeD* shuai4 but in the end, u r unstraight... haiz.
ya i'm super tired now...shall read 1 chap of order of the phoenix den go to zzzz liao... tata my frenz.



------ Saturday, July 19, 2003

tgif

well todae turned out to be a full day holiday for all of us =) ya, wanted to do mass dance with cheng but in the end sian half so we didnt do...ended up sitting in the canteen n gossiping with cheng, joyce, sheya and ying ying...ya den our plans to watch either charlie's angels or the lizzy mcguire movie were dashed when half the gals pon sch todae...win liao. aft the 4 of them left, i went to r2 to meet up with yv they all. ya, spend the whole morn doing gic's work den we left at abt 1+ n went to bugis to eat lunch den we went queensway to shop. most of us had smthg in mind which twe wanna buy...hy, yv, jz, des wanted shoes, me n yv wanted bags...but in the end onli me n yv bought our bags...yv bought a green bag (ya, wat else rite?) for $20 n i bought a red one at $20 too...turns out the bag i bought is the exact opp of yr's bag...nvm, yr, tt shows tt great minds tink alike! ya, i'm quite satisfied... tink $20 for a bag is quite cheap... haha... ya den went to suntec for dinner at kenny roger's... had quarters n i was super full by the time i finally finished dinner. tink they finally saw my "speed-eating power"... haha... ya den jz said smthg v funny. he was looking in the drn of gb n said "he look so ugly (or is it smthg else? cant really remember, but itz nt smthg v nice)" den we were lyk "HUH?" n he said, "no la, i was talking abt kenny roger!" haahaaaahaaahaahahahahahaaahahahahahaaa....... i cant help laughing... now if i go kr to eat, i will 4eva be reminded of this...
aft dinner, we went to walk arnd...i tink me n yv really quite power. barely 5 mins in carrefour n we manage to lose everyone else. we are 4ever losing track of other ppl, tt time at taka oso lytt... walk n walk until we couldnt find the rest of them... ya den somehow yv got hold of edwin's wallet n we began digging his photos...eh i tink his bus pass photo really look a bit lyk edwin ong lei...ya haha, i took his $50 note...ya in the end, he keep hitting my head, esp when we were abt to leave for home...threatened to flatten me into the ground... sorrie la ed, i'm too fat to be flattened liao...too bad. acty i wanted to return him the note bun den gb said don wan...want to use tt $50 to play pool n eat crystal jade tmr but ya, i'm a soft-hearted, sensitive n friendly nice girl so i returned the money to him in the end... anw, managed to catch jason n amy 2gthr... but i oredi know it since tt day at sentosa la...
den acty i wanted to take 133 with yv n jz home den yv said des taking nel so i went to find des, gb n ed instead. turns out des nt taking nel... they all taking east-west line so ya, took train with them to kallang n heng, 31 came b4 26, so gb n i took 31 home.
reached home n my dad was lyk "huh, shopping again ah? red bag again? haiz....." haha, acty i knida expected tt comment...tink i'm psychic. ya, todae's amazing race nt bad...more of testing skills n strength den testing courage n stamina, n todae is a non-elimination round too, so it didnt really matter tt kelly n jon came in last. but yay jon n al came in 1st... tink either they or david n jeff will emerge as champs.

anw, tink todae gb quite quiet... lyk smthg is wrong lytt. he keep saying nth wrong. well maybe really is nth wrong la, i nv say i don bliv u, but itz juz tt, u were tt quiet until u were nt lyk your usual self... well anw, todae's over liao...have a good nite's slp n may tmr be more happening for u...esp since we're going to play pool tmr.....one of ya fave past times rite? to mug n play pool....hahahaa i havent forgotten tt....
yupz, tink i shld slp earlier todae since i have tuition tmr at 9am...i'm acty quite tired now (which is quite rare as gb pointed out.........)......nitez =)


Could you look me in the eye
and tell me that you're happy now?
Would you tell it to my face?
It happened in a race
Are you happy now?
~ "Are You Happy Now?" by Michelle Branch



------ Thursday, July 17, 2003

...

well i didnt go sch todae so got nth to report oso. lemme c if i can recall wat happened yesterday........
went home early yesterday cos hafta ya, go down to my granny's, so i left sch at abt 2.30 with gb who was feeling sick...hope u r better =) yupz gb finally know who is W liao, different frm who u tot he was rite? ya i bet he's darn happy abt it...i tink he's got a crush on W...u so fickle....got ed, mike etc oredi lei......... ya n sha, watch wat u say...did i tell u i'm pretty good at silencing ppl? =) jk la.

yupz itz pretty confirmed tmr will be a half day, phang told me himself. cos i msged him last nite to tell him i wont be going to sch todae. he's v sweet abt it, told me "fri is a half day, lessons will end at 10.30 latest, u can be excused frm sch if u need to"...thx, phang. ya but i hope lessons will end by 9.55 latest den i wont have lessons liao cos i got double PE den break, get to miss double econs too =) ya hopefully tmr i'll get to watch a movie with my gals...so long nv go out with them liao...since minority report last yr...yup but if those tt arent supposed to go decide to come, ahem, i'll hafta re-consider... ya den maybe later will meet up with yv they all at queensway...i wanna buy a bag. den i'll go yv's hse to slack la, watch amazing race, wateva la. ya, looking 4wd to tmr...in a way, life will be getting normal frm tmr... no more rushin home to rush down to my gran's.....

ohh but i tink i'm gonna be sick soon...i can juz feel it...perhaps i shld drink my 7 glasses of water a day too. ritez, gotta do my tuition hwk now...ciáo =)


------

the beginning of the end

well todae marks the end of my granny's funeral...aft a full 7 days of it. reached my granny's at abt 10 n the priest havent come yet so me n my bro settled down to talk (as usual) to our cousins...oh jason asked a qn which i still do not have an answer to: "if u have 2 mosquito coils n 2 lighters, n i mosquito coil burns for exactly an hour, how do u determine 15 minutes have passed exactly?" jason said i was tinking along the right line but still i don not have the ans. if u all have, pls tell me okayy. if nt he will keep suan-ing me tt i dunoe the ans...
yup anw, reached mt vernon at abt 1+...the atmosphere was pretty sombre n depressing. aft performing the very last rites, my granny was cremated...juz lytt...literally gone as ashes. everyone cried, esp christine who took my granny's death pretty hard cos she's the onli grandchild who lives with her. ya, christine, granny's gone on to a better place n she lives in our hearts 4ever.
life's gonna be a bit weird now tt my granny's gone, i dunoe, in a way it is the beginning of the end...we r juz gonna hafta live our lifes without her now.


as the hands of the clock ticks by
as the end draws near
we bow our heads and tink
wat have we achieved thus far?
everyone hopes to make an impact in life
n be remembered when they're gone
but who actually achieves it?

don leave your footprints on the sand,
where they'll be washed away by time and tide
leave your footprints in our hearts
where they cannot be erased
only then will u live forever
death is a release for the living
it's the start of our lives without a person
it is the beginning of the end.


thru'out these past few days, i have been experiencing some weird conflicting emotions which i'm not too sure abt myself...i don know how to put it in words...so i shall keep it in my heart until i figure out wat it signifies. acty i'm not too sure if i want to figure it out too...i'm scared tings will change.


------ Tuesday, July 15, 2003

tuesday oh tuesday

well todae's pretty okayy i guess...had 2 near- heart attacks namely chem n econs. got back my chem score early in the morn...monica wong had to mai4 guan1 zi3 by nt telling us our score until she finish the mcq corrections with us, but it was worth the wait cos jiahui acty passed chem this time around...she got 54.5...wah finally got out of chem r... yay. but yv, i understand how u felt when u said "it can be quite demoralisin"... remember i failed the 1st chem ct....ya, don feel too qi4 nei3...ur chem is usually better than mine so ya, i tink this is a one-off incident for u oso... 2nd bombshell for the day is econs...n yay, jiahui passed econs for the 1st time this yr...got 14 for my essay, which puts me at the ave in my class (highest is 15 or 16...) ya was darn happy abt the fact tt i managed to get out of econs r when lbm had to pour cold water all over me by sayin "aiyoh jiahui ah, how can u aim to pass onli? by this time, u shld have aimed for level 3 or 4 ans oredi! how can everytime get onli level 2 scores?" f-a-n-t-a-s-t-i-c.

didnt go down to my granny's todae cos it was raining quite heavily by the time i was abt to step out of my hse, so my mum called to ask me to stay at home n rest well...n oso cos i may be shou3-ing ye4 with my cousins tmr nite. but ya nth out of the ordinary happened todae...took the usual bus to sch, had the usual lessons n went home with yv n gb as usual...except tt on the bus home, gb said smthg abt W tt kinda surprised me a bit initially...okayy la shall go n notice more.

ya dunoe if i will be able to blog tmr so tink i shall post this now...itz frm the july issue of reader's digest, in an interview with the Dalai Lama...yesh the religious leader of little-known tibet...

RD: do u have a fave saying tt u use in life?
Dalai Lama: yes, it is this prayer. if i feel a little discouraged, sad or ask "what is the meaning of this life?" this verse gives me purpose of life n inner strength:
So long as space remains,
so long sentient beings' suffering remain,
i will remain,
in order to help, in order to serve...
and when tings r okayy, n ppl r praising the Dalai Lama, again this poem helps me: i am nth but a servant to provide to others. otherwise u may get lyk "oh, i'm quite impt." n tt creates arrogance n exploitation. so, if u provide some happiness, some comfort to others, then ur life becomes meaningful. if ur life creates problems or sufferings to others, then there is no meaning to ur existence.

i tink dalai lama's absolutely rite. this reminds me of wat one of our ngo in cambodia, mr jose, once told us: "wat r u going to give back to the community for the privilege of living?" this impacted me a lot. truly, we r privileged to be leading a good life so we shld contribute back to the society by serving... without me, the world may not be any different but without the tings around me, i am nothing. never forget tt.

yup, i'm going to read my 2nd round of harry potter n the order of the phoenix liao...if i manage to stay awake, which i er, doubt so......... ciao =)


------

tired

well todae's a darn tiring day... econs lec was my 1st lesson n yup, u got it, lbm's voice has an instantaneous effect on me as i drifted into the wondrous slumberland n nv woke up till nearin the end of the lec... well don call me a pig cos i'm really really in need of slp...got home onli aft midnite on sat n sun, den hadta wake up at 6+ on mon... taboleh tahan man... in fact, i juz got home not too long ago too, but i felt lyk smthg is missing so here i m blogging again =) ya acty todae oso nt much to write abt...sch ended at 1.40 for me, den finally got down to doing some work while waitin for yv n gb...my wk load is mounting by the day...den when i reached home, chop chop bathe den rush down to my granny's...well todae evryone's there too, xcept for qg who had to go for re-service...

am tinking of fri now...partly bcos of the supposed half day n oso bcos my granny's cremation will be on thurs so on fri, i'll be free...ya yv i'm serious abt going to ya hse but i dunoe abt stayin over cos tuition may be on sat...nt sure. den sat college day oso...maybe i stay over on sat nite? c 1st okayy..... yupz, tink tt's it...tmr i guess i will be slping in class again, but juz hope i can get thru monica wong's chem tut... she'll be giving us our paper n if i fall aslp, it'll be lyk "jiahui, fail paper oredi still wan to slp izzit? nt serious abt ur work......" dunoe la, tink i'm getting quite gd at predicting wat others will say... tink i can consider a career in words prediction...bush will pay big bucks for me to predict wat saddam n osama have to say man........

p.s. edwin, don be too sneaky, itz nt good for health......................................


------ Sunday, July 13, 2003

smthg funny...

okayy this is inspired by guobin...typed my name into yahoo n got some interesting results too:

1. Young Christian Society
Teachers-in-charge Mrs Christina Tan
Practice Day Saturday
Venue School
COMMITTEE MEMBERS:
President: Lim Jiahui ....

2. About Us : Hi, we are a group of sec 4 students from Singapore currently studying at CHIJ St Nicholas Girls' School. the reason why we are doing this website is because it is an English Literature project given to us and we hope we have not bored you. :)
Here are our individual profiles:
Name: Lim Jiahui
CCA: YCS (Young Christian Students) and Interact Club
Email: lim_jiahui@hotmail.com

of cos tt's nt me... i come from the greatest school ever tt is CEDAR GIRLS SECONDARY

3. from some snooker prediction website:
Here's the final scores for the 2001-02 competition and congratulations to CHRIS FISHER who was the least dismal of all your guesses! A snooker cue signed by Steve Davis is winging his way down to Somerset soon. Don't forget that the 2002-03 competition will be up here soon, and it's FREE and we don't bug you with pop-ups and ads (well not yet anyway), so don't forget to come back!!
76 C Hakim -68
76 Lim Jiahui -68
79 Gwen Biviano -70
79 John Caulfield -70

yup tt's it for now...nxt time i shall search google...=)


------

well yv's msg woke me up todae...she asked me to go watch ch5...n it turned out to be "upfront with david beckham"...forgot to tell u, yv, but i saw this b4 liao...itz filmed before the world cup...so long ago...but thx anw. yup, slacking a bit now...wan to do work but somehow i feel auite detached frm work, lyk i lost a sense of wat to do...as in, i wan to do work but i cant seem to find the momentum to do it, lyk i need something else to get me started...i oso don really noe how to describe this feeling... this weekend feels quite long...yesterday felt lyk an eternity. well my bro's at tuition now, n he's cutting his hair later...so waitin for him to come home at abt 4+ maybe... den we'll go down to my granny's. well todae oso nth much to say.......

ya anw, gb, thx for sendin me ya voice recording...itz erm, nt bad la...hahahaa. if u wan i can still help u to send it to medicorp studios...who noes, u may be famous one day..u noe, sing for the comedy shows tt kind? haaahaaha jk la. ya anw, tink tt's it for now... =)


------

lonely soul

i tink i lost myself somewhere down the road
u may tink i'm kidding
but i'm not

somewhere down the road i've lost my identity
i've lost the place where i belong
n now i'm just misplaced
i'm just going with the flow

i often wonder
will u miss my presence when i'm not around
will u tink smthg is missing
or will u juz dismiss it, dismiss me?
i hope u sense my absence
but den again no
for u have ur life to live, u hav wonders to look forward to
.... n i'll just go with the flow

if ever once u tink of me
don hesitate to call
for there's nth better in this world
than to know i'm loved at all

i may look alright, i may look cheerful
but don u know i can be hurt too?
tell me who'll be happy evryday
even jokers have their down day

but cheerful i shall remain
for there is nth i lyk better
than to be blessed with family
....n to be surrounded by frens
... lyk u


------

awakening...

well todae is an eventful day...in a sense i suppose... i juz felt tt i had to go down to my granny's so my dad came back to pick me up at 10+. the prayer rituals r supposed to start at 11.30 but somehow evrything got delayed cos the monk who was supposed to be leading the ritual forgot some stuff...so the ritual began at nearing 1pm instead...lasted for abt an hr... gb, tt's y i didnt meet u all... itz nt bcos i'm in a bad mood (in case u're wondering). met up with all my cousins but didnt really have time to talk to them cos evryting's in a rush... so we went home to shower den went back again at abt 6... the evening prayers started at abt 8pm...aft tt had to help arnd n attend to the ppl who came to pay their last respects to my granny. was free onli aft 9.30pm or so...den i had my dinner with my cousins...hadn't seen them in a long time...since cny i tink... well it's good to be with them again... talked to steven, jason, christine n serene. serene...still so jap-crazy, still hope to go to japan to work n she still lyks to use jap n make us guess... christine's bf came so she left us...but she's still the same la. steve...told us stories abt his work...he's a seaman with a shipping company...oh ya, hafta thank him...he knows i cant take cigarette smoke so he abstained frm smoking in front of me...thx for being so considerate =) jason...wat can i say? u're getting more n more shuai4 evrytime i c u... still the same...dream of scuba diving in other cntries, still playin soccer on sun at cchs...seems lyk some tings nv change. but ya, itz good to c u all again... i really lyk the feelin when we all sit down n talk, i feel so much more loved... well there's really nth lyk family...
todae i learnt how my granny passed away...my dad said she died in her slp...couldnt catch her breath i tink... well i guess itz a peaceful way to leave this world den.. i was tinking todae, i tink i know y i was so badly affected yesterday. cos the last time someone in my family passed away was wen i was in sec 3...my maternal grandad... itz been quite some time n i guess i've grown up...more close to my family now... n i know the meaning of cherishing ur loved ones, so i guess wen i received the news tt my granny died, it hit me quite bad. but ya, i've come to terms with it... she was suffering frm cancer n stroke... was really quite sick so maybe this is her release...at least she's going on to a place where there's no suffering... i tink i've grown up a lot this past yr......


------ Saturday, July 12, 2003

life goes on...

well life goes on... i woke up yesterday (fri) with a pain in my left ankle...but it got better when i reached sch so i went for pe... played tennis =) yar, lyk, finally.......been tinking abt playin tennis for a long time liao. n guess wat? my ankle hurts lyk shit now...i don tink itz a sprain thou...juz freaking painful.
aft break got double econs...lbm gave us back the case study...i was darn lucky...i passed the case study by 4 marks... now i need 9.5/25 for my essay to pass the whole paper...n seriously, for the first time this yr, i acty feel a bit optimistic abt the econs paper...i acty tink i may be able to pass econs this time arnd :)
aft sch.....had to slack from 2.15 until tuition starts at 5pm. so i walked arnd the sch with wx to find yv, zj they all...den went for phy r to do nth oso...aft phy r, went pkway with zj n yv...yv wanted to find gb to get her wallet back... tuition started....tuition ended... i reached home at 8.30. big deal.

p.s edwin, if u're readin this, i'm nt a block of wood....touch wood don need to touch my head...i stil wan to grow taller =)


------

n life ebbs away...

i'm quite sad now...my granny has just passed away....i don know exactly how she died but she's been ill for quite some time already...i was on my way home aft tuition when my bro called me at abt 8...told me my granny passed away n i couldn't help it...i juz broke down n cried on the bus. i really don lyk crying in public cos i feel vulnerable when i cry but i really couldnt control myself. althou my mum has been sayin we shld be prepared cos my granny was seriously quite ill, i still could not take the initial shock of it.... i'll really miss her... the times when she came over to stay for 2 weeks durin the hols...itz nice havin her around cos she really loved us to bits...althou sometimes she can be quite harsh with words when someone rubs her the wrong way... my dad told me nt to go down to my granny's hse tmr morn n aftnn cos he said he n his siblings will be there, will be quite chaotic n we will not be able to help out much too... i got no idea how to get there by myself in the evening but i bliv i will be able to figure it out...s'pore is onli tt big....
yeah i juz wanna thank yv n gb for being there for me juz now... thx a lot... thx for walkin me home, for the consoling words n for the tissue... yv, thx for ya msg on ya blog...i read it oredi. n gb, thx for ya msg too... i'm very touched by ur poem...it spoke to me a lot... thx for evryting, u 2...

well tot i'll share this song...itz my fave robbie williams song. i dunoe y i tot of it but i juz did.

"Angel"

i sit n wait, does an angel contemplate my fate?
n do they know the places where we go when we're grey n old?
cos i've been told tt salvation lets their wings unfold
so when i'm lying on my bed, tots running thru my head
n i feel tt love is dead... i'm loving angels instead

n thru it all, she offers me protection, a lot of love n affection
whether i'm right or wrong
n down the waterfall, wherever it may take me, i know tt life won't break me
when i come to call, she won't forsake me...
i'm loving angels instead

when i'm feeling weak, n my pain walks down a one-way street
i look above n i know i'll always be blessed with love
n as the feeling grows, she breathes flesh to my bones
n when love is dead... i'm loving angels instead

n thru it all, she offers me protection, a lot of love n affection
whether i'm right or wrong
n down the waterfall, wherever it may take me, i know tt life won't break me
when i come to call, she won't forsake me...
i'm loving angels instead

p.s. gb, this is the song i told u abt where ppl attending rw's concert will call others n hold up their hps so tt their frens can hear it live.....


------ Thursday, July 10, 2003

itz thurs...

well well welcome to another episode of my life... well this morn i hata rush out of my hse so i left all my cards at home...hadta spend quite some time desparately lookin for 5cent coins. thx joyce, for sparing me all ya 5cent coins... ya todae chem prac was quite irritating...cos the QA quite difficult to judge the colour...
got back phy results todae...muz say i'm super happy with my results...didnt expect it...ya den when gic called hy, she answered the call n den reealised it's him n said "oh shit, gary chan!" n hung up the phone...hahaa. den when gic call me, i accidentally-on-purpose didnt realise he called. n when i finally answered his call when he called the 2nd time, he said "aiyoh jiahui, y nv call me back? dao izzit?" hahaa...nt funny.
went with yv to mlb to do tut aft sch todae...met up with edwin n gb there... at 1st yv tot sh is going but when she called gb to ask where they are, she found out to her great relief tt sh is nt going to study...aiyoh.
went to gb's hse to watch "chemistry"...had kway chap for dinner...acty i'm still at his hse now/ yv is watchin ch8 n there's the sound of guitar comin frm the living room. his hse is pretty ave i gues...his room a bit small but okayy la... yv tinks we're psychic cos we have the same floor tiles, chair, wall texture n air con....
yup tmr lessons end at 2.15pm but i have tuition at 5...tink i better go ask joyce is she wanna play tennis tmr...v long nv play tennis liao..=)


------ Wednesday, July 09, 2003

2 bright spots...

todae's 2nd day of official sch...nth unusual oso...onli tt out tutors r giving out results liao but acty i oredi know will onli get back maths paper cos monica wong havent even finish marking s34's papers, so confirm also haven't finish marking ours la...funny how all the tutors seem to leave my cloass' scripts till the last...tink is too easy to mark la, everyting juz cross cross cross can liao... haa. but i received chem mcq back todae n surprise surprise... i got 13/30. nv pass la but i was quite happy cos i surpassed my prediction of 10 marks. haahaaha. the highest frm my class is 18 or 19 i tink...yupz...den....oh, aft break we had kan's gp lesson n he made us do the common test 3 compre...crazy...he say "okayy i wan u all to finish all the passage A qns, den we'll continue with passage B on fri durin ya reading period...." so in the end hadta squueze more brain juices to do...cant remember much, juz tt i crapped a lot abt how food used to determine our identity. den tot can go econs lec n juz sit down there n slack but horror of horrors.....guess who's the lecturer? my fave econs tutor.....LBM. wah sian la...so boring...so in the end i did the gp readin article 3 instead. den aft tt maths lesson n fong started giving out the test papers...the highest frm my class is ll, she got lyk, 96...yup, ninety-six! so smart........but yeah, good thing she's a girl...u done us proud girl! =) cant imagine if one of the guys got 96... i'm sure we'll still be hearing abt it thru'out the whole term. yup...well i got 73, which i tink is a pretty good score la considerin i was hoping for a C. oh itz so darn ironic...i tot i could do the complex no qn n i tot i screwed up the ineq qn but.....i got higher for ineq than for complex... but yup, glad maths turned out okayy... the four of us passed so all of us are quite happy now =) so there it is, 2 bright spots...althou chem is still fail...

oh yah hy n joyce were tellin me abt this myanmar woman called Aung San Suukyi... n i admire her now. cos frm wat joyce told me, myanmar is ruled by a military govt n Aung San Suukyi is trying to fight for a democratic govt..but she's unde hse arrest... but still she keeps on fighting n nt giving up... the military govt r so cruel to her...they didnt even allow her to go for her husband's funeral...i admire her fighting spirit... she has my respect...

yup, i'm in comp lab now...i was in r1 juz now. quite scary lei, barely one week aft common test ended n there we r, studyin in the readin room again...well hafta do maths tutorials...no choice la. ohh when hy knew i was going to r1 to do hwk, she said "aiyoh nxt time wan to write letter to jh, juz address it to 'ljh, reading room 1, vjc, marine crescent' can liao"....HA HA HA. nt funny. but ya. it reminded me of harry potter...the first bk when harry first received a letter frm hogwarts, it was addressed to 'harry potter, the cupboard under the stairs, number 4 privet drive' hahahahahaa.....anw, i received a call from gary idiot chan juz now...asking me how i did for phy...again...so i told him i havent get it back yet cos i don have phy lessons todae den he said "okayy when u get back ur results call me immediately ah" ....................... i juz gave him a weak laugh n said bye bye... sorrie la.. i will accidentally-on-purpose, conveniently eh, FORGET to call him tmr...maybe i shld consider putting his name under the condemned caller grp of my hp................

yup tt's abt it todae...quite boring....evryting abt sch life n nth but sch life....... oh now my hp contact list, got wcbt liao.......thx to SOMEONE =) well well well...wonders nv cease.



fishes gotta swim
birds gotta fly
n jiahui gotta live her life.......
(it's not original, i found it in a book but i forgot which bk liao...juz tt i suddenly remembered this...)


------ Tuesday, July 08, 2003

a longgg post abt life...but pls read this cos this is how i feel

Todae morn got combined assembly n chan talked abt michelle... i felt sad all over again... when the 2 girls spoke abt michelle, tt was the 1st time I heard anyone speak abt michelle...cos I dunoe her personally...den there was the min's silence in memory of her,dunoe if it's juz me but I tot I heard voices coming frm my right?shall nt name the class...let's juz say tt it didn't come frm my jnr class...

initially wen i heard abt michelle's death frm gb, i was lyk "if she got the courage to commit suicide, den y doesnt she have the courage to face up to her problems?" i was oso tinking abt queena...got ppl lyk queena who loved life so much but yet lost her life to leukaemia despite fighting so hard.....so y didnt she treasure her life? den i felt guilty for tinking tt way cos i m nt michelle, i will nv know y she chose to do wat she did tt june aftnn. In a way, I shld apologise to michelle cos I tink I insulted her memory. Sorry, michelle...

in class, phang talked to us a bit more abt michelle's death...he said the teachers had a meeting n m's last letters to s1e n to the wushu team were shared. He said tt in her letter, she asked everyone nt to speculate y she decided to end her life...so I shall respect tt. Den phang talked to us, he asked us wat we tink abt suicides generally...asked us if we know lyk the general symptoms of suicidal notions...stuff lyk a sudden calmness...he said tt's wat m's mum noticed abt her in the days b4 tt june aftnn... somethg lll said in class made me tink... she said tt the period b4 m jumped, it muz be v scary...could be lyk in a whole new realm, lyk logic doesn't work anymore... n I tink I agree with her. N by agreeing, I felt even worse tt I questioned m's courage initially...now I tink she muz hav had her reason. Itz juz such a pity tt she didn't choose to confide in another person...tings will have worked out differently den, cos I tink she would hav alts n another perspective...

all these stuff (michelle, wk, queena n in fact even the iranian siamese twins ladan n laleh) have made me realised juz how precious n fragile life is. Phang said by being a free tinker himself, he always tot "if there is no such ting as reincarnation, den this life tt I lead now will be the onli life I'll ever lead, so I shld treasure it" tt was an interesting pt of view... yup I agree...life is precious, wateva pblms we face, we muz try to look it str in the eye n fight it...don tink tt these stuff onli happen in harry potter stories... it applies to real life too.. live ya life with zest my frens.. cos life is simply too precious to be wasted away...

P.S. I really appreciated phang's little talk with us, it helped me understand life a bit more. thx, phang... althou on the surface I may look as thou I was peeking at proteins notes n tryin to do chem tut, I was really listening to u.......



------

back to sch again....

well well so todae is almost lyk the 1st day of sch, considering we had a week of common tests last week... well had to go sch early todae to wrap up gb's bday prezzie... so no choice but to squeeze with all the sec sch students... i truly prefer the 7am bus...not tt many sec sch students cos if they r on tt bus den chances r, they'll be late for sch *gRiNz* yup so the great mystery is revealed...yv n i met up on sat aftnn at my hse to do gb's prezzie...n gb, if u tot we were talkin in cryptic on mon morn, it's bcos we're talking abt how to do ya pen...i'm glad u really lyked it...u really didnt expect tt rite? haha.....happy belated bday k...

yup so todae lessons as usual...durin chem tut, monica wong gave us the ans for the mcq...i nv write my ans in the qn paper so i dunoe how i fared. in a way tt's good i guess, at least i don hafta agonise over chem tonite. hmmm but still, i more or less can remember some of my ans...don tink i passed...in fact i tink i didnt get pass the 10/30 mark... yup...oh phang said he haven tabulate the phy scores for our class...he oso refused to say how our class did..."i havent tabulate the results for ur class....".... so in the end he told us our project work grades instead...as if we cared abt it.......it's nt relevant to us anw...but haha, i got a band 2...nt bad at all...in fact i tink itz quite tyco.... ya den chem lec...i didnt catch anyting...barely half an hr into the lec n i was fast aslp liao....tink the guy who sat nxt to me muz be tinking wat a pig i was.....ya den yuck, kan's lesson...hadta do essay test...bet we're the onli class to do essay test la...evryone else got it as hwk...haiz. den the worst part of the day...lbm's lesson...she gave us back our econs mcq...flunked it as usual...9/20... but she didnt suan me todae, cos she havent mark case study n essay so she oso dunoe whether i passed or failed... ya today's phy prac was taken over by chan kf instead... i tink he's quite a gd tutor.....at least for prac la...tink he's the one markin our test cos he proclaimed "ur marker is oredi v lenient with the class, if u all cannot pass den tt's it oredi"

yup tues is one long day....aft lessons ended at 4.10, i met up with yv in r1...she was doing her gp work la, den we left sch at abt 6...went to pkway cos i hafta buy the soaking solution for my contact lens...saw jz there, he said they juz ate sakae, den ask us to help him find a person....????.....we juz went to nanyang optical instead...met mike at pkway bus stop...turns out they were in the pet lovers' centre buyin food for shihui's dog. they said they saw us but we nv c them...it's a small world aint it?

ya *sObZ* sirius black juz got killed by tt bellatrix lestrange.... i lyk sirius a lot...he was my fave character in "harry potter n the prisoner of azkaban".....he beat harry potter in my list by a teeny weeny bit...hermione came a close 3rd...ya, now i feel so sad for harry, cos he juz lost his godfather when he oredi didnt get to know his parents cos they got killed by tt a**h*** voldermort when harry was a baby... well at least now fudge blivs dumbledore n harry tt voldermort is back...the magical community muz stay vigiliant now....... hmmm juz cant wait for the 6th book to be published......=)


------ Monday, July 07, 2003

grateful...

i was juz tinking... i kinda lyk my life a lot now... cos i was juz readin yv's blog on how nice the frenship btwn me, her n gb is...n i agree... me n yv r oredi gd frens la...considerin we knew each other since sec 3...tt's lyk 3 yrs ago...nt v lon, but nt v short oso... gb...quite cool, cos we stay near each other...v convenient...lyk wanna go mugging, go anywhere oso convenient... acty ya, we became this close during the june hols, when we're all mugging together...stil remember the times we meet early in the morn to have breakfast at mac, at geylang... den go mug at mlb...ya den itz lyk i feel tt i can tell them a lota stuff... lyk abt my granny, my family, wcbt... n they're always there to offer advice...althou some can be quite weird n of cos, the never ending suanning, the nite at mike's hse in mike's room when we start readin other ppl's blog, the staying over.... yup come to tink of it, i did lotsa tings tt i havent done in a long time aft this common test...go ppl's hse, play cards, go shopping, eating good food at ulu-ated places, go sentosa....esp go sentosa...goodness me, i havent been there in dunoe how many donkey yrs........

but now common tests r over, gotta face another nightmare: gettin back results... yucks juz hope i don do too badly for maths...i know i cant get my A liao la...phy oso...hope i can get my C...econs hope i can pass... chem too....if nt den at least don fail too badly la... shucks la, gotta be prepared to go for remedial again... rememdial sux big time man....take up my time onli....

haiz, oughta be talkin of happy tings now... ya good ting todae's a hol...i cant imagine going to sch todae... well acty i don much much time to continue writing liao...itz 10.30pm oredi... gotta go catch my tom welling on smallville.......oh man, he's so darn cute! =)

yupz...cya all in sch tmr......


------

stayover...

okayy i noe this is a bit lagging too (yv, u're not the onli one...seems lyk me n gb r later than u this time)... ya yv n gb stayed over at my hse yesterday...it was 8+ when we finally settle down to eat our dinner...den we were speakin in opposites, lyk when we say "yes", we acty min "no"...was quite amusing...ya, den we played mahjong la...short of one kaki but ya, quite funny cos we er, screwed up the mahjong tiles...super funny... my bro joined us when he returned home aft the ndp full dress rehearsal... ya at first i tot i'll lose money la but in the end, guess wat? i thrashed everyone..... n gb won too...tyco! =) tink we shld get 2gthr to play mahjong again...this time muz find 4 kakis str frm the start n cannot be so blur liao...
yup we stopped playin a bit aft midnite n we went to my room to play daidee la... den we oso drank the 5% alc vodka tt we bought...quite nice initially but the more u drink, the more bitter it gets...but ya, itz quite nice la. den gb told us the ghost story his sis told him n den we started telling ghost stories...yucks the vs stories r quite bad...esp the one abt the d&t lab...yucks n i tot cedar is quite haunted liao...tink gb tell ghost stories tell until he got pretty freaked out himself, hungry tt time stil ask us if we wanna eat...so in the end we accompanied him to eat cup noodles... ya den aft his supper, itz back to ghost stories la...yucks tt time arnd was abt ppl committing suicides...quite freaky...cos they tellin ghost stories in my room, den i'm the one who's gonna slp there nite in, nite out...go figure...den when we all cant take it liao, juz talk until doze off la...n below my bed rite, got another pull-out bed n yv was slping on tt one la so below my bed was hollow space...den haha, i keep threatenin to pull the blanket away so tt gb wil face the hollow underneath of my bed...oh ya, "threaten" bcos i sent my frens (them included) an email showing a female ghost below a bed, n we all tot it was v spooky...hahaha...
we intended to wake up this mornin at 9.30 to go for breakfast but end up, me n yv lai4 chuang2 lyk crazy... gb was the 1st to wake up at 9+ den he was tryin to wake us up...pullin blankets, throwing pillows....too bad la, he's up agst 2 ppl who r darn good at lai4 chuang2-ing.......in the end we woke up at 11...n tt's onli bcos my hp rang...ends up yv knew he threw a pillow at her la, n a small-scale pillow fight broke out...
ya aft yv n gb left at arnd noon, i went to have lunch n hav been slackin at home ever since...did the stuff tt i m supposed to do...finally...meant to do it since fri but ya, it was kinda diff to do cos the letters got a lota curves, it's diff to do curves la...the end pdts look a bit weird but still recognisable la...yup...tink we put in a lota effort into this one......
have been readin harry potter n the order of the phoenix for the rest of the aftnn...don tink i can finish it tonite cos later got smallville n i'm stil at pg 574 out of 766 pages...well luckily i did a bit of normal distn tut n the phy hols hwk liao but darn, the other subjs...chem self-design hols hwk stil blank...don even know where's the qn paper liao...gp don need to say...my readin article 2 stil with gb n article 3...gb havent do it yet.....so much for trading....


------ Sunday, July 06, 2003

sentosa!!

i was reading harry potter n the order of the phoenix until abt 4am this morn so i was deep in slumber when my hp woke me up with a msg frm yv. at first i tot is tt gic asking me to confirm tuition time n date again n i wanted to ignore it but well....i read it n it was frm yv, askin me if i wanna go sentosa.....lyk d'uh....i've been tinking of going there but hy, lil n joyce didnt have time so ya...i wont refuse the offer la....
met up with yv at boon keng station den took nel to harbourfront, den met up with gb n mike there...so we went to palawan beach n met up with the others la. yar, played bridge when we got there (they juz finished suntan-ing)... turns out visgoth is there too for their strata outing... yup den we all went to play frisbee on the beach...it was very fun! hahaha....at first we played normally den later played monkey...poor yv was once the monkey for 4 times str...haahaha... i lyk frisbee la...don need to over-exert too much (unless u're the monkey la!) den so fun some more...ya den the sand got very hot n we got tired so we shifted to play monkey frisbee in the sea instead...needless to say, we girls mostly stayed near the shore, leaving des, jz, gb n zh to swim aft the frisbee when it gets too far out... aiyah jz is a lifeguard, confirm no prob swimming one la...anw ya gb, hope u had fun even thou u didnt really wanna get into the water initially....
yupz left sentosa at abt 5 n we walked back to mainland s'pore cos the queue for the bus was lyk, darn long la... haha, exchanged slippers with gb cos i wore my bro's n it was quite big...ya anw, made it back home via my fave nel again, now waiting for the 2 of them to finish blogging den they're coming over to my hse to play mahjong/german bridge/daidee/watever we wanna play la...quite excited cos yv will be staying over...dunoe abt gb la, but i tink stay over quite shuang...lyk got the whole nite to do wateva we wanna do...yup so i'm looking forward to it althou i tink most prob i'll be the one losing money during mahjong...juz hope they gao1 tai2 gui4 shou3 a bit...
oh man, i feel a bit wobbly now, lyk stil got the feeling of floating in the sea lytt...v long nv go beach/swimming/kayaking, so v long don have this feeling liao... dunoe whether i shld feel good or not =) yup, maybe i'll blog again later, when the 2 of them r here......for now, signing off... sentosa rox!


------ Saturday, July 05, 2003

call me an idiot if u wan to but this is how i feel....

okayy okayy i will talk abt wcbt, aft many urgings to do so...acty i oso dunoe wat to say...i really dunoe when it all started. i min, acty i kinda suspected it last dec aft i came back frm cambodia cos during tt time, wcbt was quite lyk, always asking me to do some stuff which i don really wanna do (don worry, it's nt anyting illegal too) but den since the start of this yr, wcbt didnt do anyting else so i tot dec was bcos evryone was quite sian, lyk stuck at home for too long so ya, always keep wanting to go out la. den the whole of this yr so far wcbt oso nv say or do anyting so i tot, ya itz juz tt i was tinking too much la.
den when i started this blog, i told some frens abt it n lyk, someday later, gb msg me telling me he saw smthg interesting n tt i shld go c it...i went to c it obviously n.....let's juz say wat i saw shocked me, at least initially la. i min, really....i was lyk, "r u sure they r talking abt me" n both yv n gb said ya, shld be la...got one part, on the day gb n i went kovan to study, i tink at least tt's talkin abt me la.

gb say he'll be touched but den, erm touched? more lyk, shocked la. cos i really hav no idea tings turn out this way! i min, it wasn't obvious n how was i supposed to know? i'm really quite thick when it comes to tings lytt. i min lyk, i'm not opening my eyes to this kinda stuff so i wont go looking out for it so how in the world m i supposed to know if u don tell me? now i feel as thou i'm being quite unfair to wcbt. i dunoe la, i tink it's nt my fault but it's lyk, oso my fault lytt... i really dunoe. i don feel anyting for wcbt in tt sense la, as in lyk, i don really know him tt well either. wcbt is lyk, juz a normal fren, i'm sorry to say, nt even v close lor. aiyah i dunoe how to say wat i wanna say oso...itz lyk.............

okayy let's put it this way: i'm not a very bright girl, in fact, i can be n am quite dumb...i catch on to tings quite slowly unless they r lyk, games or lame jokes but tt's just me. subtle hinting doesnt work for me, at least, it doesnt work most of the time. i min, i can be sensitive to ppl's feelings, i know when to say wat, when to stop talking if other ppl don lyk me to talk abt it but when it comes to this.....i confess: i'm a total idiot. I-D-I-O-T. tt's the final word. really...i cant sense this kinda stuff one. obvious hinting may nt even work... i min, if u wan to let me know smthg, den at least tell me la. hinting...isnt my cuppa tea.

ya i hope no one will feel any different (whether for gd or for bad) aft reading this...i really hope tings can get back to normal.....

p.s. thx, yv n esp gb, for urging me to pen this down, i really feel better now...at least my tots r more organised... c ya all tmr... god bless.


------

we've got smthg going on.....

hmmm i woke up at lyk 12.30pm todae...havent had a good long slp since god knows when...i felt darn great when i woke up today =) ya den in the aftnn, yv came over to my hse n we did ahem...some stuff la....cannot say now but maybe nxt time when the time is rite, i will say wat we did...(don worry, we didnt do anyting illegal) but ya, itz nice having yv at my hse...v long don have ppl come over to my hse liao. yv left in the late aftnn n den i went with my daddy n my mummy to my aunt's hse to visit my granny...she's v sick, juz discharged frm hospital n staying with my aunt now...when i saw her i was quite taken aback cos i havent seen her since before she stayed in the hospital (acty tt's onli abt 1 week plus or so). she looks v frail now, n she has difficulty breathing n talking properly. i really hope she gets well soon, althou i'm not really v close to her, she's stil my granny aft all... my dad was quite upset todae when we left my aunt's hse...welll...she's his mum aft all...he looks okayy now thou...he's watching news on tv with my mummy now...
well aft i got home, i've been slacking (well i can afford to slack now wat......) while my bro was using the comp, but yeah, here i am again...

i'm looking forward to tmr...tmr my bro has ndp full dress rehearsal n he has 2 free tix to the rehearsal, so my dad n my mum will be going to see the rehearsal...so tt mins i'll be alone at home la...so yv, gb n (maybe) another person will be coming over to play mahjong...dunoe wat we're going to do if n when we get sick of playing mahjong but my mum has given me the all-clear for everyone to stay over,so ya,it'll be fun...ya todae oso nth much...my gd fren has been urging to write abt wcbt again...maybe i will....


------

divisions, anyone?

okayy itz proven, shopping IS really a v good therapy...regardless of whether u're a guy or a girl. at least tt's wat i tink la... met up with frens for lunch at wisma at abt 1pm (acty it was supposed to be 12.30 but yv n i were late...) aft yahoo joined us, can c tt there's a certain tension amongst the guys...esp when we're in the lift, den itz lyk me, yv n dino moved in n yahoo stood bside a stranger but wen goaty came in, he stood rite nxt to the lift door, effectively leaving a space btwn him n yahoo la...i sorta know tt yahoo n goaty don really lyk each other n in the lift, i can c n feel it 4 myself. ya den later in the food court oso, aft yahoo changed places with dino so tt he was sitting bside me n goaty beside dino, goaty started talking more too...

i tink itz quite scary lei, in the sense tt frm the surface, they look quite alrite wat...n as a class, they look quite "together", well more "together" than my class anw. but den on the inside... tt time one day aft i 1st noe abt the split in yv's class, i sorta observed discreetly at the guys...n lyk they all sit 2gthr but if i didnt oredi know abt the split, i wouldnt guess it but since i do noe, i can c tt it's lyk, really there by the way they sat in a row...those who don lyk each other were sitting apart, with the "neutrals" in the centre... ya quite scary...for my class rite, ya itz true tt we girls really CANNOT stand most, if nt all, of the comp guys, but at least ours is all out in the open. nt lyk we avoid or treat each other badly but since it is common knowledge tt we don lyk each other, at least we're being honest abt it...now itz getting better...we r treating each other civilly n better, we realised tt the chem guys r really quite nice ppl... i tink itz better to be honest abt these tings cos with honesty, den at least both parties can start to rectify tings btwn each other...if juz keep in the dark, den i don talk to u, u don talk to me....how r tings going to get better? my class is a classic example la....really...

ya anw, we met up with yr n gb at heeren n yv n i split with the rest of them to shopat lvl 2...i really tink the ting we bought is really quite nice! haha...den we went far east to shop la n tt's where i tink shopping is a gd therapy...i felt a sense of accomplishment aft buying my slippers...i bet anyone who bought smthg todae felt the same way la.... don deny... ya den aft shopping, we had dinner at this chicken rice stall at a ulu-ated part of lucky plaza... i'm honestly quite amazed at gb.. these kinda funny places oso can find...1st the wan tan mian at roxy sq den now.... haha. den later went mike's hse again...gb wanted to find ayumi's new mtv but apparently no one has it online yet...awwwww...we ended up playin german bridge in mike's room, n yv say avril's song gave her luck n gb... wat else but ayumi? oh did u ask abt me? i'm naturally lucky...any song oso can...cos i ended up winning with an impressive score of 282 (somewhere arnd there)...ya den later gb HAD to remind yv abt wcbt stuff la so in the end, they went to c it...den we oso went to c vn's blog...haiz another case of class division....

ya later at 10 we went to watch amazing race...so sad monica n sheree r out... i hope the 2 blondes tian n jaree go out on the nxt episode (sorry, gb....)...den played bridge until 11.30 den we went home liao la...
all in all, a nice day...thx, guys, for the enjoyable day...=)


------ Friday, July 04, 2003

精神支柱

just wanna say a huge THANK YOU to yvonne n guobin...thx for mugging with me thru'out the june hols... whether it is at the mac near my hse, at kovan, in sch or at mlb...i will never forget...alll the hard work, the mugging, the 八卦 stuff we talked abt, n of cos the daidee n german bridge...thx for being there. u 2 were the reason mugging didnt seem as repulsive as it ought to be n u 2 were the reason i'm able to put in 6-8 hr mugging days... yv, thx for intro-ing the nasi briyani n gb, thx for intro-ing the 油條... thx...for being my er, mugging kakis... u 2 were truly my 精神支柱... so now tt ct is over...ENJOY man! cheers =)


------ Thursday, July 03, 2003

it's like a jailbreak....

FINALLY!!! common tests are over!! yay........been waiting for this day for the whole of june liao...well as usual, chem was a disaster. come out all the grp 2 n grp 7 stuff...win liao la, i nv study tt properly...haiz get 36/40 for the chem online mcq quiz also no use la...was practically guessing my way thru mcq...ended up with a lot of 'B's for ans as usual...haiz.

but aft chem is darn shuang la! went to ljs at ps to eat lunch den wanted to go play pool (okayy, watch others play pool) but in the end went michael's hse instead...itz quite shuang at his hse la, juz slack the day away... was playing bridge when mike n des were playing a game on mike's xbox...tink it's called kungfu master or smthg lytt...it's v funny! get to taunt at ur opponents n the special moves ah...so cornie, but really v funny... hahaaha...acty i spent most of the day playing bridge n daidee...onli spent some time playing crazy taxi n the brick game tingy on mike's xbox... i lyk today's bridge cos i tink i have good cards most of the time... i don remember shuffling a lot...in fact i remember high-fiving a lot of times... goes to show la, whoever partners me...is their good fortune la =) oh ya i tink the way mike talks is v funny oso...the way he says "u fool, dunoe the milk carton on top got expiry date is it...." all the "u fool...", "die, bitch....." sounds so funny when he said it.....it sounds er, natural...ahaahaaha.

hahaha den we went for dinner at this foodcourt opp mike's hse...wah there got tv la, one show ch5, one show ch8...so ya, got "prime" seats to sit, eat n watch "chemistry" at 8.30 too...ooh tt show ah, one of a kind man...today's one quite nice, when angie revealed tt c.k is acty her half bro... awww so sad...but the ending v abrupt...hanging in the middle of nowhere lytt...ya by the time we left town, it was oredi abt 9.30pm liao... reached home slightly b4 10 la, read newspapers aft i showered n well, here i am again....

ya, going to pasir ris park to cycle tmr...hopefully there'll be no change of plans la. hmmm acty i intend to read my 5th harry potter book tonite until tmr morn one, seems lyk now if i read thru the nite, tt's it, tmr i will most prob langar when i get on the bike again...oh did i mention i had some traumatic memories on the bike b4? besides the ubin accident, i acty ran over a cocker spaniel b4! the cocker spaniel v clever, dodge evryone's bike but decide to run under mine...luckily he didnt get hurt man, if nt i'll feel guilty forever...in fact, my fren said tt i screamed louder than the dog... hahaha...those were the days =-l

yup tt's abt all tt has happened todae...have a good nite's slp, everyone... we deserve it...


------ Wednesday, July 02, 2003

the final barrier

whew, finally, it has come to the last day of mugging for the block tests...aft tonight, i don have to mug for at least 1 or 2 weeks (hopefully). well today's econs paper was so so i guess. to tell the truth, i expected smthg harder so well...hopefully i'll actually be able to pass econs this time, even thou it's gonna be marked by lbm again. acty i can imagine her saying "aiyoh jiahui ah, got the whole hols to study, how come your results still like tt? your essay got no substance one........" tt's lyk so typical of her. but i tink this time, she may nt have the chance to say her fave words to me liao, cos part (a) of the essay is juz regurgitate the lec notes abt the distinction btwn actual n potential growth, n when me, yv n wx left LT1 todae, we overheard jack cook telling ck n another person smthg abt "so for s'pore, u will have to write abt policies to counter stuctural n frictional unemployment.............." wah tt's exactly wat i wrote....so hopefully i wont fail my essay this time around... tmr's paper is chemistry at the stinky(usually) LT3...i'm glad to say i've finished studying chem...but able to remember wat i studied or not is another matter la...but at least for once, i finished studying chem ahead of time okayy...*3 cHeErs* oh must go n buy 4D liao......

yar today is another ordinary day, considering there's stil a paper tmr...went to roxy sq to eat lunch aft econs paper den juz went home to slp liao...haiz i meant to study just now but i just couldn't find the mood or the urge to look at chemistry again. i wanted to go mac to study but my dad came home when i was comtemplating whether to go out or not den he asked me abt econs so i ended up talking to him for quite some time. aft tt, no mood to go out liao. so i've been lyk, look at notes for 10 mins, go toilet, den read a bit again, walk to the kitchen, read again, go n drink water, read again, wander abt the living room...i'm sure u get the idea. hopefully at night i'll be able to concentrate better...

oh ya, i juz put up another poster on my cupboard door! oh for the record, i cant stick posters on my bedroom wall cos the texture is not suitable for putting up posters... anw ya, i opened a drawer n found a man utd poster frm 2 yrs ago...the one tt comes along with my $111 tix when man utd came to s'pore in 2001. so wat the heck, i juz put it up la..right above my 2003 man utd calendar which by the way, features fabien barthez the gk as july's player, so no more solskjaer to look at liao...maybe i shld turn it back to january where david beckham is the featured player...just for old times' sake. itz funny huh, when u get erm, older, u tend to reminisce more.....okayy okayy i'm crapping...

u know wat is the ting i look 4wd to now? tmr, d'uh! aft 11am....ya acty me n 3 or 4 other gals frm my class wanna go cycling or kayaking but end up, joyce say she's going shopping with her mum (lucky girl...), hy say she wanna eat instead n lil say she wanna go home to slp...haiz... so no kayaking for me for now :-l ya if i go cycling tmr, it'll be the 1st time since nov 9 last yr tt i got on a bike...ever since tt freak incident at pulau ubin where i almost got into an accident with a van... ended up with a really ugly gash on my chin, n the wound got a bit infected some more cos ubin got no clean water. can u imagine pus leaking out of ya chin? ewwww. but if u wanna look on the bright side, i got to sit in the ubin police van n tour the er, toilet of the police station there...aiyah but tt's lyk so over liao............... fast 4wd to today....ya eh, tmr's tings tmr den say la...gotta get thru tonite 1st ya?


------ Tuesday, July 01, 2003

boring day

hmmm phy today was okayy i guess...i just received a call frm gic, he called then just started asking why i said i can't do the DC n EMF qns. haiz, i tink the essay section just killed me. on the pessimistic side, i will need 71.5 marks to pass but look on the bright side, hey if i wanna get C, i can afford to lose 54 marks...go figure.

ya went to mlb to mug phy todae with yv, edwin n gb... wah man den gb's mouth todae got pblm man, cant stop talking abt someone...haiz don talk abt it liao, it's quite confusing. acty nt confusing, confusing is not the right word to use...mind boggling? hmmm...ya den went to mac for lunch. guess wat? there was this fast food song playing over the radio, the lyrics got smthg abt mac one...we were quite amused. den this song by frankie j , "don't wanna try" played n the lyrics went "don't wanna try don't wanna try don't wanna try no more" n i was lyk, "imagine this song playing in ur head during the phy paper n u confirm will fail one" haha...

ya den aft phy paper, we were all on 31 den managed to see a lot of ppl who take 31 but whom we don usually see on the 7am bus...interesting. ya okayy la, running out of tings to say oso...today my day is not v interesting as u can see...gotta mug econs now, musn't fail again, musn't let lbm have the chance to say tt my essay has no substance...


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