Monday, March 26, 2007

-dough, a deer a female deer-

alright i know it's doe, a deer a female deer. i have my reasons for spelling it as "dough" though hahaha. it all started with yvonne's msn nick which read "me, a name i call myself; far, a long long way to run". well, that got me started on singing the do-re-mi song and i started associating frens' name with the song when i reached "ray, a drop of golden sun".

and then i realised that the song is not about ray. it's about jeremy. check this out:

dough, a deer a female deer
ray, a drop of golden sun
mee, a name i call myself
far, a long long way to run
soh, a needle pulling thread
la, a note to follow soh
tea, a drink with jem and bread
that will bring us back to dough ough ough ough

bread, dough.. get it?? HAHAHAHHAA.


after which both jem and yvonne told me not to study too hard. lmao i was really darn amused.


anyway. week 13 is here. full steam ahead!

to-do:
1) IE meeting - later at 7pm
2) MPW test - tuesday morning
3) Pareto interview - tuesday 2.30pm
4) mpw meeting - tuesday 4pm
5) IE meeting - tuesday 7pm
6) IE presentation - wednesday morning
7) MPW meeting - thursday 3pm
8) MPW project due - friday 5pm
9) IE report due - friday
10) AFII meeting - saturday 9am
11) Strat report - compile by saturday evening
12) Strat meeting - tuesday 3.30pm
13) interview - wednesday 10am
14) AFII exam - week 14 thursday - week 15 monday
15) Strat report due - week 14 friday
16) interview - week 15 tuesday afternoon 2pm
17) IE paper - week 15 thurs
18) Strat paper (tmd change to closed book!) - week 15 saturday morning
19) Corp rep paper - week 15 sat aftnn
20) AFII projects due - week 16

i haven't bitched about how strat paper has been changed to closed book! now i have 2 closed book papers on the same day jialat! argh means i must study for strat paper liao damnit.

3 more weeks, gonna be over before i know it.. and exchange results out in 3 or 4 days' time!


------ Monday, March 19, 2007

it's not easy being neurotic. it's not like i want to be neurotic. i just am. it's just like how some people are extroverted and some people are introverted. if everyone around me preaches a "let's not care what other ppl think of me" attitude, i suppose i might learn from it but deep down, i'm always gonna be a neurotic person. it's just like how a shy person can learn to open up and be more sociable, but he's always more introverted at heart.

i dunoe why i am talking about this now, but the mood just strikes me to write about this. haha.

anyways. i think this term i gave people a "i am very free" impression? quite a number of people have told me that i seem free most of the time. WELL. in truth, i have a lot of things to do, but i have learnt to cope much better. it's all in line with being neurotic, actually. i am very conscious that other ppl might find me whiny when i complain that i'm busy so i've simply learnt to shut up. i think i've mellowed down so much over the years because of this reason too.

ok ok back to binomial model and black-scholes pricing model.


interesting fact #293231 - i hold my breath when a stranger walks past me from the opposite direction. regardless of gender, race, language and religion.


------ Wednesday, March 14, 2007

-barefoot on the bed-

wow i never knew how good it is to feel my bare foot on the bedsheets. by sunday nite, i was getting really irritated at my foot wrap cos it's been on my foot for more than 48 hours and my foot feels unwashed (but clean okay, just that it feels unwashed). and it gets quite bad at night cos it's quite disconcerting to not be able to feel my bare foot against the bedsheet and the blanket. i dunoe how to describe it properly, it's just odd.
and so i had the best sleep on monday nite when the wrap finally came off.
the residual swelling is subsiding fast yay. gym soon hopefully.

busy weeks ahead. don have time to slack around. in fact, i should be trying to read my fixed income notes and try to do the assignment now instead of blogging. i have no time to do strat by tmr evening and research ie by friday!


------ Friday, March 09, 2007

-residual-

I attended the networking session last Friday and really, nothing much came out of it. The only interesting thing occurred after the event, when Edmund, Hui Ying and me were on our way to the Victoria Street food centre for dinner. We saw three expensive cars parked at the admin block.



2 Mercedes (a vintage one at that) and a BMW wooooot! All 3 have very nice number plates at that.


Time really flies. I remember it wasn't too long ago that Ed, Ray and I were chatting on msn in Dec and we were saying that this is the term to chiong, this is the term where there we'd be shrouded in a different aura. Now, it's the end of Week 10 and I've already been through a handover, applied for exchange, 5 tests and 2 presentations. In other words, 90 of the 500 percentage points up for grabs. Now left with 2 tests, 3 presentations, 5 reports and 4 papers within 5 weeks. wow wheeeeee!

I realised that some things have really zoomed by me, the biggest one being fixed income investments class.


somehow this reminds me Russell Crowe as John Nash in A Beautiful Mind.


The end of the class. Sorry the photos are kinda blurred, it's not easy to take photos in class using the zoom function.


You know what they say about time can heal all wounds? That things, even if you were to leave it alone, will heal with time? It's true, I guess, but the thing that bugs you most, more often than not, is the residual pain. It's the thing that remains when you thought that most of the pain had gone away. The niggling little feeling that doesn't hurt when you don't confront it, but hurts like hell when you try to face it. It's the thing that won't let you off.

Sometimes I struggle to deal with the residual pain. It's like a parasite that won't go away, something that rears its head at times when you're alone and vulnerable. Should I deal with it? Or maybe I should ignore it and let time do its job? It's difficult for me. I hate residual pain, it kills me a little everytime. Even after so many times of dealing with residual pain.


I am talking, of cos, of my foot.


The little niggling residual pain won't go away so I figured I better see a chinese sinseh about it. He said I probably injured my bone tissues, so he slapped on some gooey mixture, wrapped it up, and told me to keep the wrap on for 72 hours.

My new fashion accessory until Monday night I suppose.


------ Sunday, March 04, 2007

If I told you a secret
You won't tell a soul
Will you hold it and keep it alive
Cause it's burning a hole
And I can't get to sleep
And I can't live alone in this lie

So look up, Take it away
Don't look down the mountain

If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return
Anyone, anything, anyhow

So take me don't leave me
Take me don't leave me
Baby, love will come through it's just waiting for you

Well I stand at the crossroads
Of highroads and lowroads
And I got a feeling it's right

If it's real what I'm feeling
There's no make-believing
The sound of the wings of the flight of a dove

Take it away
Don't look down the mountain
If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return anyone anything anyhow...

So take me don't leave me
Take me don't leave me
Baby, love will come through it's just waiting for you

So look up
Take it away
Don't look down

If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return anyone anything anyhow...

So take me don't leave me
Take me don't leave me
Baby, love will come through
It's just waiting for you

Travis - Love will come through

"a song about love, not in the classic context of that sort of hollywood love, you know the one that you see in the pictures "I love you/I love you too" and it's not like that. It's love that you have with your mum and your dad and your friends and stuff, love that equals hope in the face of everything, the love that conquers all, and its dedicated to that love."


fantastic stuff. it's a return to travis's roots. love it.


------ Saturday, March 03, 2007

-she was sitting at the table, he could see she, was unable-

john o'shea just scored a last minute winner at anfield for man utd to win 1-0. super fortuitous. but these are exactly the kind of games that will win us the league.

over the course of the match though, i managed to think about some things. n you know what, i'm gonna do so many things for myself now. i have become so tired and jaded with so many things, my mind has simply refused to continue thinking. now, i'm going to start again. i may not know where i am going, nor how am i going to get there, but i sure as hell will go ahead.

no idea what i'm talking about?
that's just the way it is, and it should be.


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-intuition-

i don't know if i've mentioned this here before, but i have a pretty accurate sixth sense. somehow i am just able to sense when something is going on. h+h, h+t, j+j, i was able to guess them all. i dunoe how to say it, but i am just able to pick up on the smallest of things sometimes.

oh well maybe it's bcos i had somewhat of a vested interest in it in the first place, that's why i'm especially attuned to it and most things that happen to it? maybe.

and 1 more thing. i'm not dumb. i can put 2 and 2 together u know?

why am i saying so much though, it's not as if you will read it and understand what i'm saying. hah!


i happened to be reading some of my past entries, mainly entries from when i was in yr 1. and in a way, it dawned on me why i am the way i am now, the series of events that moulded me and my personality.


on another note, i went to cut my hair. it's short now. i haven't had it this short since sec school. maybe it's just what i need.


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