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weonlyliveonce



Everyone has different forms of relieve, mine's running alone and writing

- garde, au sein du malheur, l'espérance et la foi-
- keep, in the midst of unhappiness, hope and faith-

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Sunday, August 31, 2003
timeless...

baby come close let me tell you this
in a whisper my heart says u know it too
baby we both share a secret wish
are you feeling my love reaching out to you

timeless
dont let it end.. no
now that you're right here in my arms where you should stay
hold tight baby
timeless
dont let it fade out of sight
just let the moment sweep us both away
lifting us to where we both agree
this is timeless...love

i see it all baby in your eyes
when you look at me you know i feel it too
yes i do
so let's sail away and meet forever baby
where the cryatal ocean melts into the sky
we shouldnt let the moment pass
making me shiver let's make it last
why should we lose?
don ever let me go

timeless
dont let it end... no
now that u're right here in my arms where you should stay
hold tight baby
timeless
dont let it fade out of sight
just let the moment sweep us both away
lifting us to where we both agree
this is timeless...love

"Timeless" ~ by Justin Guarini and Kelly Clarkson


[[.ran.]] 9:05 pm

------

on a bright and wonderful sunday morning.... nth happened

haiz had a darn sian day todae.. had a weird dream n somehow gb is part of the weird dream.. but i cant remember much abt the dream.. i only remembered tt in the dream, i kept mumbling tt i must remember to tell gb abt this dream.. tink i kept saying "i must tell guobin, i must tell guobin" repeatedly.. den i drifted into another dream tt involved my daddy.. but when i woke up, i totally cant remeber anyting abt the dream.. such an irony..

i realised the stuff i did today is more or less abt the same as the stuff i did last sunday.. wake up aft nn, had lunch, slack arnd, attempted to study, den watch tv, eat dinner, use the comp.. life is such a boring routine now.. managed to finish studying kinetics todae.. yeah surpassed the deadline set by someone.. :)

yupz anw, eagerly awaiting the match btwn man utd n saints... tot it's gonna start at 7.35 but in the end it turns out tt 7.35 is the super sunday preview.. the match is starting at 9.. my mum is watching i not stupid on ch8.. how many times has she watched tt? sian la... hope the match will be good... got a feeling ronaldo may start n kleberson will play today... my fav player scholes has a hernia problem so he may not start.. hahaa... wat can i say? i tink man utd will win.. oh yeah, for the first time since i can remember, i am hoping tt man city will win tonite.. get rid of arsenal for us :)


[[.ran.]] 8:50 pm

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Saturday, August 30, 2003
no man utd on a sat nite

was awoken by my bro this morn.. tt lucky boy is going to sentosa todae.. must be he purposely wake me up to tell me he's going to sentosa one.. tt idiotic pig.. anw, ya ate brunch at 11+ while watching the US open on starsports.. aft tt i went for a walk around my hse..wandered frm living room to kitchen to living room again.. too bored la.. den proceeded to complete tuition hwk at abt 1+.. keep zoning out... went to mug with gb at mac again at abt 3.. not bad la, managed to complete quite some stuff todae.. read thru the capacitance stuff tt gb printed frm blackboard.. it's darn tough.. finished pc, mono n math induction.. haiz.... oh yeah, someone set me a deadline to finish kinetics by mon.. u fool...... anw, hlfway thru mugging, we were "terrorised" by this mosquito.. it was flying arnd under the table n we couldnt see it but can feel it.. tt pest actually bit me..

ya had some more interesting observations at mac.. realised the ppl in my neighbourhood quite funny one.. saw a very young beng.. tink he must have been like wat? pri sch? abt there la.. hair gel like crazy, wear choker, metal watch etc etc.. den got a lot of muggers also.. got one grp even more hiong than us.. started earlier than us but then when we were abt to leave, they still have ppl going to join them.. tink they sec4 onli lor.. wow i tink if i really set up a muggers unite club, they'll be clamouring to join la.. den got quite a lot of young ppl working at mac.. the guys all one pattern one.. thin.. n i min THIN.. tink even thinner than gb.. den got this dude, his name is riduan, looks chinese but is a malay.... he keep cleaning the entrance to mac.. just keep wiping every half hr or so.. quite comical.. like his job is only to clean doors like tt.. a bit wastage of resources lei.. i min, ya mac is a big firm n they want to reap technical economies by specialisation but ya, this is too "specialised" rite? hahaax.. just putting wat i've learnt into good use.. :)

left mac at 8+.. didnt touch my notes since.. darn i'm just so slack at home.... hmmm it's 9.55 liao n my bro isnt home yet.. he's gonna miss the start of his match btwn his beloved newcastle n dunoe-who... yup, no man utd match tonite.. they're only playing tmr, against southampton at st mary's... ya, shld take opportunity to mug on a perfectly fine sat nite rite? rite. oh heck, who am i kidding? shit this pattern of slacking at home cant go on......

oh yeah, man utd is drawn into grp E of the champions' league 1st phase.. their opponents are glasgow rangers (scotland), panathinaikos (greece) n vfb stuggart (germany).. well i'm confident they'll get thru to the 2nd phase.. if not v diu1 nian3 lei... oh well, we'll wait n see, wont we?

rite, me gotta go n try to study...


[[.ran.]] 10:07 pm

------
Friday, August 29, 2003
cant think of a title

slept super late last nite..or shld i say super early this morn.. had a virtual "fight" with someone all the way until 2.40am like tt.. u all can c the proof on the tag board.. oh btw yv say the tag board caused her comp to go retarded..she demands tt i take it off or else she'll stop coming here.. well well... shall c wat i can do abt it..aft all, i know the feeling of not having broadband..it sux..

anw, woke up at abt 11.30 still feeling tired.. cos i woke up at abt 6+ to erm.... okayy let's just say i have a HUGE stomach upset.. spent quite some time in the toilet.. hahaa.. yupz anw.. where was i? oh yeah, woke up.. went to watch tv.. saw this zhou xing chi show on ch56 tt's super funny but super low class.. dunoe wat's the title.. it's called "tricky brains" in eng (thx to teletext).. really horrendously LC but ya, it's a no brainer.. good for me now.. i'd rather watch these kinda no brainers than smthg so tinking like "a beautiful mind" or smthg like tt.. was attempting to eat lunch while watching tv.. espn was showing a "manchester" match.. turned out it was manchester city vs blackburn.. chey.

yupz.. wanted to study econs but couldnt concentrate so i did tuition hwk instead..still cannot make it.. gb msged at 2+ n called me go mac to mug.. so we mugged at mac frm 3+ til 7 like tt.. was and still am super tired.. oh when we were abt to leave, this super duper gay guy sat at the seat beside us.. he is so darn gay lor.. the moment he opened his mouth, i was like "eew, like ben hong like tt...".. den his gf came.. and he was like, touching her all over the place.. so gross lei... yucks must be bcos of gb n his gay affinity la.. u r 4ever cursed to attract gays man.. so many seats to choose n he has to sit nxt to us.. must be bcos of u........

yupz anw, tink my art has really improved.. of only ms kong wanted us to draw humans instead of limes, bananas n orchids in sec2, i would have passed my art with a more honourable mark.. haiz..


[[.ran.]] 11:33 pm

------
Thursday, August 28, 2003

went to did some colorgenics psychology plus test..

your mood: you are probably feeling overwhelmed at the moment. it is as if u have too much on your plate n you need time out. perhaps you need a rest so that you can recharge your batteries; at the moment do not feel ready to take on more challenges. you feel more determined than usual and are not prepared to put up with unnecessary delay or restriction. not in the mood to be told wat to do, you resent anyone trying to control your behaviour. you do not want to be held back at this time.

your present situation: right now, u feel comfortable and relaxed and fairly content with your life. thile this is, in most ways, a good thing, you might be getting a little too comfortable. your present situation is very protective and enclosed, and while this feels good now, you may start feeling frustrated and boxed in. your current situation is causing you a great deal of angst. somehow u have become over-involved in something that is leading to feelings of stress and doubt. you are at risk of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.

your conflicts: you have no conflicts at the present time.

erm.. ithe report is quite contradicting isnt it... oh well..


[[.ran.]] 11:42 pm

------

tired

went to pkway to have lunch with the usual ppl.. n tt gb was late again.. reached sch some time b4 11.15.. was walking up the stairs leading to the library when i saw an irritant.. sighz.. i took tt as an ominous sign.. n guess wat? i was correct.. chem prac was darn tough.. they r honestly out to kill us.. n ya i know some ppl will say i'm crazy or condemned or wateva but i actually found the self-design easier than the guided qA.. really.. i had absolutely no idea wat to write for the observations n deductions.. at least the self design just add something to everything n c if got white ppt only.. but oh well.. tink i'm gonna die anw..

had tuition aft prac.. hy called gary to come vj to fetch us.. can c tt we (those who take chem) are all half dead liao.. some more todae's lesson is on superposition, a major component of paper 2 n 3.. zoned out at times during tuition.. at nearing 8, yv called to say they just finished playing pool n were waiting for me at pkway.. so i followed gary's car to pkway instead of dhoby ghaut.. tt idiot's going for a night movie again.. went home with the usual ppl.. for some reason the bus was damn crowded.. had to stand all the way.. jz told me i had eye bags.. thx man.. u just completely made my day... gb looked kinda down.. he said it's the full moon.. gb u know wat i 1st tot of? tt suddenly u became a werewolf.. hahaa.. oops.

talking abt movies.. gary has the pirate of the carribean vcd.. it's circulating n apparently in hot demand oredi.. okayy i'm in the queue also.. must tell hy to give me a queue number tmr.. yeah stil waiting for the league of extraordinary gentlemen vcd.. honestly i'm amazed at gary's ability to get hold of these vcds so soon.. well i really don mind as long as er, positive externalities r generated.. heck, u get wat i min :)

OH YAH, man utd beat wolverhampton wonderers 1-0 with a goal by john o'shea this morn.. tt makes it 3 out of 3 n like, the best start in recent seasons.. pity nisty didnt score thou.. if he did, he would have scored in 11 consecutive matches, setting a new record. instead, he's still at 10.. had to share the record with some liverpool legend.. sheesh... was watching the delayed telecast just now.. saw david bellion for the first time.. tot he looked a bit like newcastle's jermain jenas at first glance.. n i'm slowly becoming into a huge fan of eric djemba-djemba.. tink he's a fighter.. like keane... i like this kinda players :) man utd rulez!


[[.ran.]] 11:03 pm

------
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
mars

okayy just saw gb's blog.. was reminded abt the mars tingy being visible tonite.. okayy i shall take note of the night sky more too.. :)


[[.ran.]] 9:43 pm

------

wateva

had some dreams tt left me waking up feeling a sense of deja vu.. dreamt tt gb successfully got my modem up for me.. den dreamt abt someone i totally don know but he was telling me the exact same tings gb told me b4 dinner last nite.. so freaky..

gb came over to help me get the darn modem up.. thx a lot.. den we went to yv's hse.. as guessed, jz was already there..had some vegetarian food for lunch.. was quite okayy la.. mugged aft lunch.. found out tt i cannot concentrate.. had the feeling like i'm at home like tt.. easily distracted.. sighh.. just cant seem to concentrate fully on my studies.. sian.. went to the living room couch to study.. quite comfortable.. but cannot write properly, so i went to the join gb at the dining table.. concentrated a bit better.. asked yv to play jay's 4th cd... amazingly i fell aslp aft a few tracks.. must be bcos i didnt slp properly the previous nite.. woke up feeling much refreshed.. yv's mum was cooking dinner n the smell was distracting me (everyting distracted me) so i went to the couch again.. read the chem prac bk.. den it was gb's turn to fall aslp.. tink everyone is just tired out frm all the studying.. ya anw, tink my art has improved.. someone agrees with me too.. den we went to play a bit of bridge... left yv's hse some time aft 7.. walked home.. that 2 fools tried to make me walk quickly again.. but as usual, i refused.. den they keep saying wat it's the last day of the hungry ghost festival.. ya i'm s-c-a-r-e-d man.. hahaa...

reached home, bathed, had dinner... some fool msged to say he didnt have dinner n hafta eat cup noodles instead.. fool... hahaa.. yup, tt's my day todae.. not much mood to say anyting else.. tink i better get back to my books now.. shit i spent too much time slacking..


[[.ran.]] 9:33 pm

------

past entries

okayy... shall post up all the posts dating frm sun...

sun

stayed at home todae... tink i shld try to stay at home more often.. cos i figured if i can force myself to study at home, den i can save travelling time or watever.. was trying to remember the various places i've been to to study over the years... sec4 that time go national library..promos at sch lib n airport.. ao chi at airport.. yr 2 mostly at reading room.. den block test at various macs n mlb.. wonder now go where? hahaa... but i realised it's kinda diff studying at home.. at home really got too many distractions.. namely the tv n the comp.. sigh.. spent the early part of the aftnn aft i woke up watching tv.. watched premiership extra n den stared at the tv.. cant even remember wat i watched.. felt "guilty" aft a while so i went to mug chem eqn n see my old pal le chatelier.. great dude he is.. realised i got blanks in my lec notes again (hmm just how the hell did i get thru my promos last yr??).. didnt understand abt endo n exo n the eqm posn.. called gb to clear doubts.. ended up talking for quite long.. haiz.. told u i cant get much stuff done at home..

mugged for a while aft i got off the phone den later went to watch what women want at 7.. actually i don tink mel gibson is sexy.. dunoe y ppl tink he's sexy.. sheesh.. the show was quite nice.. a bit like "liar liar" like tt.. was channel surfing during the advertisements when i chanced upon this show called "far and away" on ch i.. n guess who were in the show? tom cruise! oh n nicole kidman.. man.. is tom cruise shuai4 or wat? now tt's wat i call sexy.. hahaa.. do i sound like some hopeless despo? for the record, i'm NOT a hopeless despo okayy.. it's just tt u know, kan4 kan4 wu2 fang2 wat.. n there's no denying tt tom cruise is cute.. hahaa..

tried to mug aft the show.. managed to finish a bit here, a bit there...

mon

decided to go tamp lib with gb, yv n jz to mug.. gb msged me at 10+, told me to meet at 11.. thx ah.. in the end, yv was late.. 125 bus driver went on strike.. hahaa.. in the end we reached tlb at noon as jz predicted.. mugged until abt 2, den went for lunch.. aft lunch, continue mugging.. left lib at 5 cos lib closes at 5.. it came as a surprise cos we all tot lib will close at 9.. went to jz's hse to continue instead.. became quite slack there.. jz was showing us all his cat high photos.. had a great time laughing.. den he showed us some videos he made.. not bad... the choice of music was quite good.. but i didnt slack all the way.. managed to finish ineq, partial fractions n binomial expn.. realised they r all easy topics.. haiz.. left jz's hse at arnd 7.30pm cos gb wanted to go home to have dinner with his sis.. so we forsake carom for home.. took 23 with gb.. bus took a long time to get home.. but the bus journey was okayy i guess.. managed to convince gb to try to watch smallville (okayy i used kristin kreuk as the main attraction... GUYS..).. reached home slightly aft 8.30.. had a shower den had dinner.. food was rather bad.. aey actually also nth much to say.. wat is there to say when i spent the whole day mugging? sighz..

tues

went to national library to mug with the usual ppl.. actually it wasn't very productive.. was stuck at chem bonding for quite long.. the reference section of nlb is really quite smthg... mugged the whole day.. nothing to say.. went to long john at PS for dinner.. ohh seems like gb has a very strong gay affinity.. he seems to attract gays.. hahaa... aft dinner, went mj to buy jay's 4th album.. FINALLY! it's very nice... hahaa.. reached home b4 10.. tried to connect the darn modem but wasnt successful.. called gb for help at 11+.. really quite desperate.. still cannot make it.. keep restarting the darn comp.. ended up telling him jokes frm the latest readers' digest to keep him awake.. haiz.. in the end still cannot make it.. gave up.. went to slp with gb's promise tt he will help me tmr..


[[.ran.]] 9:15 pm

------


YAY i finally got the broadband tingy up!!! wow... it's really super fast!

hahaa... thx ah, gb, for coming to help me...(I;m just too good! she's a fool)


[[.ran.]] 12:06 pm

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Saturday, August 23, 2003
battle

1 family, 2 siblings, divided loyalties. 2 siblings, separated by a single line down their living room.. watching two teams, from 2 parts of england, playing against each other in their 2nd match of the new season. two teams, each with their own array of superstars, playing for 3 points n much more.. for glory, for reputation, for pride. THIS is the part one of the match of the season in my family. THIS is MANCHESTER UNITED vs Newcastle.. hahaa.. is the intro drama enough? well the intro has to be kua1 zhang1 a bit wat.. cos this is the match tt my bro n i always watch out for.. me, the super man utd fan n my bro, the super newcastle fan.. wat more can be said? hahaa.. ya chang1 hua4 duan3 shuo1 la.. man utd's linesup todae: howard; p neville, ferdinand, silvestre, o'shea; solskjaer, djemba-djemba, keane, giggs; scholes; van nistelrooy.. subs: ronaldo (for solskjaer), forlan (for giggs) newcastle scored first thru shearer, man utd equalise thru nisty n scholes scored the winner.. the goals were so-so but wat was exciting were the attacks launched by both teams.. sir alex kenna sent down to the dressing room by the referee, all thx to the 4th official.. he was complaining agst a foul by some newcastle player on giggs.. it was a foul.. the defender was the last man.. giggs had a clear goal opportunity.. sux la.. but man utd won, tt's most impt :) so yup, part one of the battle ended in our favour.. watch out for part 2 at old trafford on jan 10 next yr!
yup the matches r definitely coming fast n furious.. man utd will be playing wolves on wed morn.. den agst saints nxt sat..

anywayz, went to mug at mac with gb in the aftnn.. finished tuition hwk n started on chem.. had some interesting observations.. that the ppl arnd our neighbourhood r quite weird,, some have sucky dress sense, some r too skinny in everything.. quite funny.. den at 3 there was this kid's birthday party.. made the whole place darn noisy.. gb was pestering me to leave.. agreed to leave at abt 4.. while walking home it started raining super heavily.. seems like it always rain very heavily on sat.. havent done anyting constructive since reaching home.. read readers' digest, "quarrelled" with my bro, watched soccer, suan newcastle, blog... watching legally blonde later.. sigh, jiahui nv gets anyting done at home..

ohh realised the darn construction works tt were put on hold r back with a vengeane.. they're re-routed my way home slightly.. shit la.. now cannot even try to study at home.. hafta go out pratically every day once again.. anyone needs mugging kaki pls tell me.. or if u want the exciting chance to mug with jiahui, pls let her know.. cos jiahui cannot mug at home.. sigh i feel kinda displaced... hahaa.......


[[.ran.]] 9:42 pm

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Friday, August 22, 2003
gals

yay, had a gals lunch todae.. okayy la, 6 out of 9 went.. me, cheng, ling, hy, joyce n ervelyn.. went to delifrance at the airport.. had the smoked salmon le classique meat tingy.. had the smoked salmon tingy.. the salmon looked kinda raw initially, but it was really quite nice! really got the very nice salmon taste.. (yv i know u're disgusted rite..) hahaa.. ohh i really enjoy a gals' day out.. with ling arnd, everyting gets said.. no need for restriction.. tink when ling n i combine powers,no one will win us.. hahaa..we bu4 kui1 shi4 5000 yrs ago de4 relatives.. when we went toilet, is really like wah... super power man.. n ling ah.. hahaa, she said i "shou4 le4".. hahaa thx hor.. u made my day :)

aft lunch cheng went to the qbshell $10 10 min quick cut tingy to cut her hair.. not bad, the effect quite nice.. den later went to walk arnd the airport with ling, cheng n hy.. brought them to the 3rd floor ulu food court.. den went to the viewing mall.. saw these pri sch kids who were there for a sch excursion.. tink they're only pri 1.. so cute! hahaa.. later went to the ulu food court to study.. realised tt i havent been to airport to mug since last nov to mug for my ao chi with th..

left airport slightly aft 5.. took 36 back to vj to meet yv they all.. met sha, sj n nicky at the bus stop.. mummy i wan my pocket money.. stop neglecting my needs la.. hahaa..
took 13 home with yv, gb n jz.. they insisted on playing bridge on the bus.. so low class.. in the end i had to play as well, if nt they will be short of one player.. i'm a nice person k.. den yv n i decided to play a joke on them but eh, it kinda ended up slightly disastrous.. ya gb n jz, i'm sorrie okayy.. really.. sorrie.. eh gb, hope the massage helped.. it did rite.....

yupz okayy, gotta watch amazing race later.. althou someone was dying to tell me who the rumoured winners are.. hahaax.. yup, tt's it for now...


[[.ran.]] 9:23 pm

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tAg!

YEAH.. finally got the tags up! hahaaha... now everyone can leave comments, quotes watever la huh.. it's easy n convenient to use.. yeapz.. li cheng, thx for suggesting this to me.. by the way, if this tagging ting hai4 ur comp to take a LONG time to load, lemme know okayy... if too many ppl complain, den i may remove it.. anywayz, if u're new to this blog or have been visiting fo some time but have nv signed my guestbook, pls
  • Sign My Guestbook
  • . thx...

    yupz, n for ur info, i'm using the free tagboard services from
  • tagboard


  • [[.ran.]] 12:20 pm

    ------

    resolve...?

    i'm in the library now.. was doing my personal statement.. now left 10 mins to my super fei4 double econs tut.. hafta say todae's lessons really v fei4... 3 breaks in the morn, den double econs, den 2 breaks den maths.. so sian.. anw, having gals' lunh todae aft sch.. current suggestions include pastamania, steamboat at treats, anywhere in town n delifrance at airport.. i don mind anyting, just hope that they can make up their minds faster.. quite excited, long time nv have gals' lunch liao.. n this time, all the gals r coming.. yay.. also, no irritants around... Yay. hahaa.. quite mean rite...

    this morn i realised smthg.. i tink tt sometimes my resolve is quite weak.. actually i don know if tt is considered weak resolve.. it's probably nothing maybe.. but i find that althou sometimes i resolve not to do smthg, i will end up tinking of yet more reasons y i shld actually do it.. althou in the end, i may follow my initial resolve, but it's scary to know that i can have such conflicting thoughts running thru me. there are stuffs tt are capable of totally melting my relsolve.. like i resolve i will not do smthg but once i come into contact with these certain stuffs, all my earlier resolves just flew out of the window.. i cant help it.. it seems like i cant n wont feel too pissed when these certain stuffs r around.. haiz, is tt good or bad? i wonder...


    [[.ran.]] 9:58 am

    ------


    this is abt yesterday.. was too tired to blog yesterday.. here goes:

    sch's as usual.. nth much to report.. in fact it's quite slack.. only interesting ting tt happened was the talk we (me, joyce, hy, lil, cheng, ling) had with phang during break todae.. don tink i shld say it here cos some of it was quite personal.. if u really wanna know wat we said, u can try bugging me but i don promise tt i will tell u.. cos ya, itz quite personal, at least, itz personal to someone.. juz tt.. ya, i tink i wont forget the talk for some time.. went for both chem n maths lec (surprise surprise)..yv drew some hearts on the back of my left hand.. was initially quite nice but she had to hua4 she2 tian1 zhu2.. anw, it's almost all washed off liao.. awww..

    aft sch, went to starbucks to study with yv n jz.. gb tried to make us go sch library where he was doing comm service but yv n jz didnt wanna go..i was neutral so i followed them to starbucks.. managed to get the comfy cushion seat.. the 2 of them were at another table.. studied theory of production n cost.. realised i forgot most of the stuff abt EOS.. n tings r not as easy as i tot they r.. haiz.. den xy called to say tt gary the idiot msged her to tell her tt he's pushing the time to 5.30 again.. great. during tuition,we did waves todae.. tink i learnt smthg todae.. i previously had no idea wat r nodes n antinodes.. hahaa, no wonder i screwed up my promos last yr.. todae's tuition quite okayy.. drew a flower on ed's hand.. such a nice flower! oh i was super amused by gary's father.. first he wore a horrendous red boxer shorts with white polka dots.. den when he went out, he took along a bottle of liquor.. the scene was quite funny.. tuition ended at 8 again tonite..

    reached home in time to shower n watch chemistry.. it's the finale tonite.. itz okayy i guess.. don really like the ending thou..i don like shows tt end with "so many days or years later".. feels as thou they ran out of ideas n like, in a rush to end the series..

    p.s. li cheng, i saw ya suggestion thru icq.. thx.. i will definitely look into it :)


    [[.ran.]] 9:46 am

    ------
    Thursday, August 21, 2003
    tact

    wanted to put this up last nite but i experienced connection pblms.. luckily i saved a copy of it...

    wanted to pon sch todae.. but in the end decided to go sch for the double chem tut.. in the end i was tinking maybe i wouldnt have missed much if i didnt go sch todae.. the whole tut just busy copying n copying frm monica's transparency.. during phy lec, we hadta do the njc paper.. due to tt gary's constant chanting tt nj paper is darn tough, i oredi got a "phobia" of nj paper.. n it's realy darn tough man.. pon maths lec.. heard tt only 3 or 4 rows in the centre filled..n lee ba made them do rubbish.. aft gp, went for econs lec.. cos it was chua.. den maths tut.. very fei4.. tink fong really cannot make it.. she cannot explain tings properly.. tink the whole class got more blur as she repeatedly tried to explain qn 7 n 8.. luckily i had mike's tut when i did the qns.. thx..

    went home aft sch.. cos i wanted to pack my room n file my notes for easier studying.. took 13 with yv n gb.. realised it's been some time tt there's only the 3 of us.. spent the whole day packing my stuff.. oh surprisingly the maths pile is the shortest lei (aft gp la).. i was quite surprised.. econs pile was the highest.. followed very closely by chem.. n i tot maths n phy will have the most notes..

    hmmz i was tinking abt tact todae.. or rather, the lack of it.. smthg someone said inspired me to write this.. i tink that one must really be tactful when speaking.. cos u nv know when u will hurt someone with ur caustic words.. i min, even if u wanna be honest n bring ur point across, i tink u shld still try to do it in a kinder manner.. we r all humans, we all have feelings.. but on the other hand, since we r humans, we will have times when we feel very angry.. n we just want to lash out at others, to just say wat we wanna say, just don care abt wat others tink n how they may be affected by wat we say.. i don deny tt i havent felt like this.. for jiahui is only human too.. sometimes she just wanna snap out at ppl, just wanna tell them tt they suck, they shld just kiss her u-noe-wat (ooPs).. but she has learnt to control herself.. twas a lesson learnt when she was young.. a lesson imprinted in her mind til now.. so now even if she really wanna slam someone, she will control.. instead she turns to sacarsm.. trying to make use of her wit.. don be mistaken.. her usual sacarsm is only joking one.. only eh, the tip of the ice berg.. wait til she get real pissed with someone or smthg.. she truly tink she's capable of suan-ing u until u cry.. don try her.. she don wish to do it too..

    yup anw, ya i tink being tactful is an impt aspect of one's character too.. don mistake being tactful for being fake or insincere.. it's an art, really.. takes time to perfect tt skill one.. if everyone learns to hold his/her tongue, there will be less bitter feelings going around..

    the world todae has just too much bitterness going around.. too much for jiahui's liking.. but guess she'll just have to learn to deal with it.. the most impt for her to learn now is to adapt to her surroundings faster.. n also, hafta adapt n try to feel comfortable too.. hmm..


    [[.ran.]] 9:53 pm

    ------
    Tuesday, August 19, 2003
    tues

    had a darn weird dream last nite.. gb, yv n someone else whom i don know were in my dream.. oh n seet was in my dream too.. haiz.. dreamt tt we were late for sch.. was already late anw so we all strolled into sch.. A LOT of ppl late together.. at first i only saw yv.. den gb came over n i was like "late again ah? 3rd time oredi lei.." den nxt instant, i ran into seet.. seet was kb-ing everyone for being so late.. den my unifrom quite screwed, seet was kb-ing abt it too.. den someone asked me how come seet like know me quite well lyk tt.. i replied "hao3 peng2 you3 shi4 zhe4 yang4 de4 la".. oh man, DISASTROUS. den later the unknown person came to say hi to gb.. n me were yv were laughing quite hard.. cos tt unknown guy's build like gb like tt.. tall n thin.. ya man were we laughing.. den i woke up.. wat a dream..

    had to write my personal statement during civics.. luckily i took a sample frm yv last nite.. if not i really will have no idea wat to write.. thx, gal! ya, hope ya get better soon.. during gp, smthg rare happened.. kan actually outrightly praised our grp's essay discussion.. woo hooo.. hahaa.

    pon maths lec.. heard tt only a few rows r filled todae.. actually wanted to go comp lab to finish my personal statement but a lot of yr ones were there, apparently rushing thru their proj wk.. so went to library instead.. didnt go reading room cos a lot of the irritants were there.. lil, joyce n hy wanted to read mag outside lib.. i initially studied outside too but the weather was hot, so i went into the library instead.. was going in when i met ed coming out.. he said he n gb were doing cip in there.. so i went to find gb.. quite amusing to see them searching high n low for the books.. even helped ed find some tamil books.. hahaa. den gb passed me the chi versions of harry potter n the philosopher's stone n chamber of secrets.. i couldnt help it.. just started reading them..

    went for double phy tut.. surprisingly time passed quite quickly.. did not fall aslp.. aft sch, went to pkway to look for gb n ed.. waited for them to finish eating den we left for home.. on the bus gb showed me wat they spent $10 for charity n got in return.. some kiddy DIY crayon holder stuff.. we managed to fix it on the bus.. was quite amusing.. ya gb, the hair cut offer stands.. i can provide the scissors n bowl.. u can choose.. n anw, i'm sorrie but when i got home, the structure sort of er, collapsed.. one part onli la.. i put it back oredi.. it's on my study table now okayy :)


    [[.ran.]] 8:14 pm

    ------
    Monday, August 18, 2003
    untitled

    in my ideal world
    where all is peaceful
    i find security
    n a place to call my own
    in my ideal world
    where all is harmony
    i find my peace of mind
    n someone to call my own

    in my ideal world
    where the stars shine forever bright
    even if i cant see them
    i will sense their presence
    n pictue them as they should be..
    twinkling high above
    n it gives me a guiding light
    a reassurance that i'll always be safe

    in my ideal world
    even if i have to exist in darkess
    where floods n fog cloud my way
    where danger lurks from beneath the bushes
    i will be secure in the knowledge
    that my guardian angel will always be there
    leading me through these treacherous paths
    n harm will not befall me

    n in my ideal world
    i trust in you
    that u will guide me on the right path
    n u will know where's safe
    i believe in u
    that u will give me strength
    n help me find myself..
    in the ideal world


    [[.ran.]] 6:25 pm

    ------

    intuition

    was almost late todae.. actually i was at the bus stop early, just tt 13 was earlier than me.. tt bus ah, very unpredictable one.. suddenly come so early.. so waited for the 7am 31 la.. when it came, it was so darn crowded.. n the dumb bus driver didnt even wait for the crowd to move in.. just refused to open the door n just drove away.. damn.. waited for the next 31 to come.. got up the bus at abt 7.10.. 7.10 bus not many ppl so the journey was quite fast, reached sch bus stop at 7.37.. saw gb who was on the earlier 31.. in fact, tink the earlier 31 also screw up.. reach sch late.. ran in with gb.. was quite lucky tt 55 also screw up todae, a lot of ppl run 2gthr so seet allowed us to run past him.. when i passed him, i just tried my best not to look in his drn, just run as fast as possible... cos my uniform is screwed.. draw string n all.. tink he also close one eye la.. hahaa.. felt as thou i just ran a marathon by the time i reached the hall.. sheesh i'm getting more n more un-fit..

    sch was okayy.. had an interesting discussion during gp when kan showed us an article on putting 2gthr human n rabbit dna.. yucks can u imagine the product? a talking rabbit? or a human with long ears (bigger than u-know-who) n a HUGE craving for cabbage n carrots? or how abt a fur-less rabbit or a furry human? YUCKS!

    aft sch, had lunch with hy n ty.. den went to r1 to pia my chem self-design hwk which i was supposed to do during the june hols.. almost finish liao.. den walked out of sch with yv, gb, jz, wx n zj.. jz asked us to guess the qian4 bian3 aladdin question.. caused wx to laugh n laugh n laugh n laugh.. practically nv c her laugh so hard before.. was waiting for 13 den ed came.. n yv got all excited abt her crushie.. haiz.. so corny.. took 13 with yv, gb n jz.. talked on the bus.. tink i got someone dying to know my answers to smthg he wanna know.. oh oops. hahaa.


    [[.ran.]] 6:11 pm

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    Sunday, August 17, 2003
    fako

    tt what element is your soul quiz.. i just realised it's a fako.. watever options u choose, u will be ice.. haiz..


    [[.ran.]] 9:22 pm

    ------

    split

    woke up today feeling funny.. had a weird dream last nite.. cant really remember wat it was abt, just knew that i woke up feeling as thou i missed smthg.. tink i was searching for smthg in my dream.. haiz.. had brunch while i watched premiership extra.. all the reviews frm last nite.. yup, man utd didnt disappoint... they won 4-0 with goals by giggs(2), scholes n van nistelrooy.. n cristiano ronaldo was just amazing.. when i saw him dribble, i was like "wow, the guy is good! has flashes of ronaldo (the real madrid one) n zidane in him.. n he's onli 19.. " his hair sux thou.. cant understand how come got reports saying his hair is as nice as becks' previous hairstyle.. c'mon la, don insult becks.. ya anw, his pace is amazing.. quick, light n willing to dribble n run at defenders.. much like giggs when he was much younger... the whole match was v nice, not stagnant as someone suggests.. actions all around the pitch.. esp aft ro came on.. tt okocha dude, darn good.. n i forgot bolton got djorkaeff.. wonder how come he nv play the whole match.. tt nolan dude too.. not bad, bolton can make it..

    went to mac to mug with my bro in the aftnn.. surprise surprise.. a mugger with a slacker.. saw xy there alone too.. wasnt really productive initially cos my bro kept talking.. den keep asking me to teach him his a maths.. they're doing perm n comb.. another surprise.. tt's on pace with us lor.. the one n a half hr or so tt we were together, i onli managed to finish elasticities n barely start on application.. den he left at 6 cos he sian liao.. continued mugging with xy.. she was mugging organic chem.. tt girl v hiong.. practically finish everyting liao.. she said she's almost done with maths n phy liao, den chem left with organic chem.. so left with bio to mug.. scary lei.. n there i was, barely starting on econs n chem.. sigh.. aft my bro left, i was much more productive.. managed to finish another chap of econs n the first chem chapter in one hr.. left mac at 7+ cos i was hungry for dinner..
    haiz.. i got no mood to mug now liao.. it's my "jiahui when she's at home" syndrome.. just laze around.. stare at air also don wan to look at my notes.. sigh. wat a sad life.

    was tinking abt smthg in the aftnn.. abt split personalities.. is it normal? i min, does everyone have a split personality? n is it smthg bad? cos i tink i have somewat of a split personality.. actually i don really know if that is called a split personality but i tink tt sometimes i am not who i thought i was or not who everyone thought me to be.. like for example, i can say smthg like we shld be more brave, more willing to take a leap of faith, don be afraid to express wat we feel, but i don necessarily do it myself.. like i know i shld do it but i cant seem to find the courage needed to do it.. n sometimes i do tings tt surprise even myself.. i've been noticing it for a very long time liao..

    i guess it all stems from insecurity or maybe lack of self-assuredness.. well i don tink i am an insecure person.. but there's no denying that everyone has his/her own weakness..like mine.. i'm afraid (i know there're some ppl who say terrified, petrified etc) of needles, injections, tt sort of tings.. i don know y too.. just tt i cannot stand the thought of needles n jabs.. eww.. n i'm also scared of flying insects.. esp xiao3 qiang2 (oh incidentally, i almost stepped on xiao3 qiang2 on my way home just now.. luckily tt particular xiao3 qiang2 was already half dead or else i may have shouted..).. u may say i'm timid, or vulnerable, or watever words tt come to mind but tt's me.. i cant change who i am, cant change wat i'm made of.. i can adapt but i cant pretend to be someone who isnt me.. tt will be so fake.. but sometimes in order to adapt to the surroundings, i realise i have to pretend to be someone i'm not.. n i'm surprised n not too happy to find that it's not really too hard to pretend to be someone i'm not.. is that good? i really don know.. perhaps sometimes i just shldn't tink too much abt wat is happening around me or wat ppl may tink abt it..


    [[.ran.]] 9:14 pm

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    Saturday, August 16, 2003
    adventure trail

    woke up at 11 todae... talked to my daddy aft i brushed my teeth.. he was playing bounce on his new hp.. den he said acty the 6610 not very good so heh heh.. i offered to change phones with him at least for todae.. he agreed.. yay. haha.. but i realised some msgs could not be seen properly with 6610.. the screen was slightly longer n wider.. ya, lost track of time for a while.. had my lunch den went to meet lc cos he's passing me the phy cdrom stuff.. thx for burning the cd.. n sorrie i'm late.. i was looking for my study stuff.. for a while i tot i left it at starbucks..

    aft tt, went to meet gb to study.. wanted to go ymca actually.. but he said can take 66 so i trust him la. took 66 but end up, 66 don go to town.. went to the western wilderness of this island instead.. really had no idea where we were going.. so decided to take the bus until we c any mac, den just study there.. yupz, ended up in a mac but we really don know where we were.. haiz, i'm really a west-idiot.. only went to the west twice in my life.. to jurong east shopping centre to ice skate.. OH n eh, to second link.. okayy so tt makes it 3 times..

    anywayz, todae's progress was quite okayy.. managed to finish hypo testing.. thou i was darn sick of testing for null hypo n alt hypo n wat not by the end of the tut.. realised tt we finished the very last tut for the jc syllabus liao.. YEAH! den played bounce to de-stress.. but darn, keep dying at the same stage.. den gb just blazed thru the stages.. until level 7 la.. shucks, i must "practise" more often.. hahaa... aft tt i did tuition hwk.. cos i promised i wont keep leaving tuition wk to the last min liao.. managed to huff n puff thru the qns.. den wanted to go elsewhere to eat dinner cos i got a slight sore throat, didnt wanna eat at mac but it started to rain cats n dogs.. ya.. cliche i know but it was really really heavy.. so in the end ate at mac instead.. studied gb's demand n supply notes.. realised tt all the concepts there seem so easy now.. wat marginal utility, effect of excess demand on prices.. haiz, wondered why i fretted over marginal utility last yr..

    left mac at 8.. didnt really know where to go to take the bus.. just walk la.. den walked thru one part where it was quite dark n "bushy" n bcos of the rain, the path was flooded.. hadta walk on the grass.. i was wearing slippers so it was quite disgusting.. waited darn long for the bus.. when it finally came, the bus driver just drove right past us.. i seriously tink he mistook gb for a ghost.. skinny n dark n wearing white, standing at a bus stop tt seemed blocked by trees from afar.. hahaa.. finally boarded the bus at abt 8.40.. bus journey was quite okayy.. realised actually we werent too far from home.. got down the bus at 8.55.. woah.. the wait for the bus was twice the journey time..

    yup, now eagerly awaiting man utd's first match of the new season.. espn was praising roy keane just now.. hahaa.. they said he's back n will be better than last season.. his appetite for victory is as big as ever.. tt never-say-die attitude, the ability to command his team.. yup, tt's keane for ya... but tink the match may not be as straightforward as predicted.. cos bolton besides got jay jay okocha (nice name!) now also got jardel.. darn good player he is... n also, bolton has won twice at old trafford liao.. but i believe man utd will not disappoint.. it's gonna be a victory.. i can feel it.. just got the confirmed lines-up: howard; fortune, ferdinand, silvestre, p neville; giggs, butt, keane, solskjaer; scholes; van nistelrooy.. 4-4-1-1 tonite.. (christiano) ronaldo is on the bench... oh n jardel is still ineligible to play for bolton tonite.. tt's good news =)

    rite, gotta go liao.. match starting soon.. cya :)

    okayy gotta go now.. the match starting soon..tata..


    [[.ran.]] 10:06 pm

    ------



    You are ice. You have a cold exterior but a warm
    heart.

  • What Element Is Your Soul?

  • brought to you by Quizilla


    [[.ran.]] 12:38 am

    ------
    Friday, August 15, 2003
    photos

    had 3 breaks early in the morn.. but really no mood to study econs..ended up doing chem prac den the maths lec test..spent all of abt 40 mins reading econs.. took the case study test.. tot it was quite okayy...... tt is, until ah moi asked us aft the test with a smug look on her face if we listed budget deficit as an economic problem.. naturally the whole class said "yes" n she went "see, how come u all don listen to me in class? i told u all already wat.. budget deficit is not a problem, it's a delibrate action by the govt!" haiz.. aft that exclamation of hers, i don see how i am going to pass this case study test..

    wanted to play carom with yv n wx aft sch.. persuaded wx to eat lunch with me den waited for yv to show up but she keep delaying.. by the time she turn up, we all lost the mood to play carom liao.. decided tt i don wan to stay in reading room to study..sick of tt place liao.. some more todae r2 got the hep b ting.. resulting in r1 being a crowded n stinky place to stay in.. yv say her notes at home so she went home.. jz...went home oso la..haiyo. so in the end, i went to starbucks to meet gb, mike n des.. when i reached there, bain n ed left.. todae not bad.. managed to finish half of hypothesis testing.. thanx a lot to mike's tut..
    went pkway with gb cos i needed to get my saline solution.. yet another person who was quite surprised at the cost of the saline.. took 31 home.. showed gb my class photos on the bus.. was pointing out to him the various ppl in my class.. hahaa.. tink all the girls look very good! oh yah, yv, jz, wx n yr saw the photos in r1 too.. apparently they agree with me tt someone looked like a uhm, f-----l d------r.. hahaa, shan't specify wat tt mins.. n amazingly, everyone who saw the photos commented tt phang's pants looked too tight in the informal photo n wx even said tt she's sure tt if she really flex her arm, she'll have more muscles than jim.. hahaa..

    yupz, anyway, amazing race was super action todae.. but i'm sorrie to say tt i tink tt kelly is more n more of a bitch.. but jon.. wow did u see him when he completed the road block? he looked quite cute.. hahaa..

    ya, tt's abt my day todae.. am quite tired now.. my nose officially blocked, but i'm not going to make the same mistake i did last nite when i slept on 3 pillows to elevate my head n make the fluids in my nose flow.. cos i woke up this morning with a freaking neck ache.. well perhaps i'll slp on 2 pillows tonite.. yupz tata n nitez..

    p.s. gb, i wan day 8 of the month.. post on ur blog, send to me, wateva.. arigato.



    [[.ran.]] 11:40 pm

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    Thursday, August 14, 2003
    exhausted

    man i thought todae will never end... was willing the day to end.. biochem was okayyy i guess, tink i shld be able to scrape pass...hopefully la. u know, mugging for biochem reminds me of when i was in sec 4 mugging my brains out for biology... n it sorta reminds me how come i was so sure that i don want to take s1 combi.. cant imagine memorising the whole freaking textbk man... pon maths lec todae..come to tink of it, this is the first time i ke4 yi4 pon lec with yv.. *cLaPz* went to r3, wanted to do tuition hwk (wat else rite?) but they wanted to play cards so i play for 2 rnds, den surrendered my place to wx, cos i realised i really got A LOT of hwk to do..went to eat lunch... got my milo frm jz...haha thanx hor..

    aft sch.. went to mlb with yv n jz.. they want to study, me... just wanna finish my tuition hwk la.. rushing like crazy to do it.. sigh, shall not keep leaving tuition hwk to the last min liao.. anw, apparently yv n jz were having LOTS of fun.. so childish.. hahaa... like gb said, i'm like a 2000000W light bulb.. hahaa... kidding la.. erm, back to hwk.. was terribly frustrated with myself cos i still don know how to do thermodynamics qns.. y i so dumb huh? i really felt horrible.. but ya, managed to finish tt stack of hwk in like, 2 hrs or so..tink i may have set a new personal record.. aft i finish the hwk, i really felt as thou i juz finished a battle... barely 10 mins later, i felt them to go for tuition.. was totally exhausted.. hey jz n yv, hope u 2 had fun aft i left ;) ahahaaha..

    gary called ling to say tt he will be late for half an hr, n tt smart gal managed to qiao3 him.. made him pay for the marks n spencer $12.90 biscuits tt we bought.. haiz, later den jan told me tt time he late for one hr den they went to eat watafish n made him pay for it.. smart gals.... nxt time we shall eat at crystal jade or smthg.. anw, went to popular with sj n nicky to buy a new tuition hwk bk.. saw i-weekly... cant resist the charm of jay n becks so i bought it.. i havent even read it when it was taken away frm me cos the rest of the gals wanted to read the sypnosis for holland v... haiz.. realised nicky is a super big holland v fan too...

    tuition ended slightly aft 8 todae..super late.. n gary not going for date tonite.. so i got no ride to dhoby ghaut station..took 31, was freezing on the bus.. really felt like hiding into my bag.. listened to jay's 2nd album to try to forget abt the cold n exhaustion.. worked for a while... bus ride felt super long.. was drained when i reached home... the moment i stepped into my hse, i juz greeted my dad, my mum, my bro n my room n headed str for the bathroom for a hot bath... man did it feel good.. i can feel the tension frm my body slowly ebbing away.. luckily chemistry is at 9pm tonite.. had my dinner at 9.30.. didnt realised how hungry i was until i actually took the first few bites..

    haiz, meant to study for econs case study test one but really v tired now.. tmr got 3 free periods to study so ya.. hopefully can pia tmr.. got some tips frm sj.. tink i wont pia too hard for this test, they say study oso no use one.. just hope i don do too badly n let ah moi have the chance to suan me again..

    anw, tink i'm gonna fall sick soon.. i don feel too good.. been sneezing since last nite.. worsened into a semi- n part time flu todae..throat feels a little itchy n dry too.. got ppl agree with me tt i don look normal.. hy say i got eyebags.. wat the heck, i don have the genes for eyebags one.. jz said i looked bloodless n my lips were colourless.. WOW i must have looked like a zombie todae huh... ya..

    anw, l learnt a lesson todae.. tt there's always 2 sides to a story.. don make a judgement until u know the whole story.. cos ppl arent perfect.. everyone has biases so the one side of the story they give u may not be accurate.. if u only hear one side of the story n tink tt someone is a jerk, well, maybe u're wrong.. wait til u hear the whole story.. den u may n most prob will realise u're wrong to judge someone so quickly.. when u hear the whole story, u may realise the biggest bastard is someone else.. okayy maybe not so serious.. but ya, *taLkInG tO mYsELf* girl, u gotta remember this okayy? don make the same mistake again..

    anywayz, the last song i heard todae b4 i reached home todae was 簡單愛.. blasted this song on my discman n was singing along to it.. nth like jay (n robbie n man utd of cos) to calm me down.. bet there's some other ppl who thought i was crazy.. wat the heck, i'm too tired to bother.. if i wanna sing, tt's not ur problem..

    說不上為什么 我變得很主動
    若愛上一個人 什麼都會值得去做
    我想大聲宣佈 對你依依不舍
    連隔壁鈴居都猜到我現在的感受
    河邊的風 在吹著頭髮 飄動
    牽著你的手 一陣莫名 感動
    我想帶你回我的外婆家一起
    看著日落 一 直到我們都睡著

    我想就這樣牽著你的手不放開
    愛能不能夠 永遠單純沒有悲哀
    我想帶 你騎單車 我想和 你看棒球
    像這樣沒擔懮唱著歌一直走
    我想就這樣牽著你的手不放開
    愛可不可以簡簡單單沒有傷害
    你靠在我的肩膀 你在我胸口睡著
    像這樣的生活 我愛你 你愛我
    單。。。 簡簡單單愛
    單。。。 簡簡單單愛


    [[.ran.]] 11:24 pm

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    Tuesday, August 12, 2003
    thinking

    was feeling tired todae even thou i slept at 11 last nite... the earliest in goodness knows how long... dunoe y also. todae oso nth much happen... managed to get yv n gb to wait for me... hey i really appreciate it okayy... yv, thanx for convincing them to stay...gb, thanx for staying back even thou u're dead tired... really thanx lots... managed to finish proteins in r3...fell aslp aft some time thou.. woke up when yv say her dad is coming to fetch us..wanted to wake gb up too but the moment i sat down, tt (still sleepy) fool began signing his name all over my notes... haiz... hard to find someone as zi4 lian4... ya gb, hahaa, u cant make it when it comes to writing upside down... went home in yv's dad's car...was super amazed by her dad...he can actually remember where me n gb live... practically got a lift to my doorstep...thanx a lot!

    ya,went to read mike's blog... actually i don really agree with something he wrote...abt the one whose love will grow only if they own the other person...i don really agree that that person is living a dream...i tink tt in a way, if u like someone, u will always try to find hints n even more subtle hints to prove tt the other person likes u as well... i tink it's only normal...it's sort of like, comfort in the knowledge... perhaps even second nature, i tink there's nth wrong with that. but i do agree that u don own the person hence u shldn't try to control another person...even the deepest love can crack under such pressure...

    "the latter is, someone who, despite his feelings for someone, feels happy for the other person even when they r not together..as long as the other person is happy, be it with someone, or alone, then he will be happy..but tt doesn't mean he don care..he does, he does a lot in fact, except tt he doesn't dare to show it, for fear of hurting the way things are, for fear of a lot of things.." wow, *cLaPz* bingo man, mike.. i like the way u phrase your words... i tink it's true n in a way, i can somehow understand wat u r trying to say.. i tink it's bcos we r afraid of change no matter how we try to deny this fact.. scared that tings will never be the same again if we express wat we truly feel.. if tings r for the better, den good. but wat if things don turn out fine? lotsa things will change n it may be too much to bear, too late for regrets...

    but on the other hand, if u don give it a shot, nothing will change.. u will never know how the other person feels... does he/she likes u? u'll never know.. n i guess this will feel like some sort of a torture.. like so near yet so far.. u want to make the first move but u don know how to go abt doing it or, u don know if u shld even do it at all... guess in a way, everyone is waiting for their interpretation of the "go-ahead sign" but the ting is, everyone's representation of a "go-ahead sign" is different... n perhaps sometimes, we may all miss tt "go-ahead sign" hence we r afraid to say wat we feel... i don know, i just tink that perhaps one shld not always keep his/her feelings inside himself...(okayy, let's just use the male address for convenience) if not tings will remain stagnant..

    woah, i don know where i got the inspiration to write this... my views may not be really reflective... after all, mike is experienced while i'm not... just writing wat i tink n feel here.. hope tt if u r feeling troubled or is simply "waiting for smthg to happen", be it relationships or not, u will tink of wat i said abt the "go-ahead sign" n how we may miss it.. just take the first leap even thou u're scared tt tings will change.. cos tings may turn out better than u expected or perhaps, not as bad as u expected.. but if u nv try den u'll nv know. carpe diem... seize the day.

    let the world stop turning
    let the sun stop burning
    let them tell you love's not worth going thru
    if it all falls apart
    i will know deep in my heart
    the only dream that mattered had come true
    in this life, i was loved by you
    ~"In This Life" by Ronan Keating

    p.s. yet another mushy but nice love song =)


    [[.ran.]] 10:31 pm

    ------

    lagging...

    meant to blog last nite but my bro beat me to the comp... well i'm in sch comp lab now...cos haha, i don hafta take the maths test... (awww yv, gb, jz, ed.....) ya yesterday was mon...my slack day.... day went okayy i guess...studied in r2 aft sch... den gb said he wanna go home but i wanna finish my phy so i managed to persuade him to walk back frm the sch gates to r2 to wait for me... hahaa. thanx ya? den yv n jz wanna study in r, made me shift all my tings to r1... gb came, managed to persuade us to go yv's hse to mug.. on the bus initially was quite sian... can c tt gb was totally drained..so i decided to show him magic tricks la.. okayy la, is old tricks, everyone see it b4 liao... told him a joke too... one tt i heard when i was in pri sch... den we played some game... those tt u play when young... quite funnt.. managed to beat him a lot of times oso! haha.. den we got down the bus... waited for 145. den on 145 rite, someone was soooo familiar with yv's neighbourhood lei! even asked yv how come is stop at the next stop, not this stop meh? wow... hmm it's obvious who tt person is rite? well it's wat we call qing2 bu4 zi4 jing4 la... hahaahahahaahahahaahahahaaha...

    when we reached yv's hse, someone suddenly said smthg abt like it's the 3 of us going to her hse again, like ALWAYS the 3 of us one.. say until super funny, den me, gb n jz ended up standing outside yv's hse n laughing n laughing n laughing n laughing n laughing away... was hilarious! anw ya, we studied in yv's study room... even opened the mj table to study... really quite hardcore.. but hey, open the mj table only bcos there wasnt enuff tables in her room okayy... managed to start studying proteins... barely finished alpha-helix structures when some fool wanted to play bridge... no choice i hafta play if not they short of one player... heh heh... won some, lost some too...

    left yv's hse at abt 7.30 n walked home... tt route AGAIN.. gb wanted to take 125 but too bad la, he was outnumbered. n tt 2 fools wanted to walk at a super fast speed so they practically dragged me along.. it was so darn fast... i reached home in 4 mins instead of the usual 8 mins or so... wah man...was sweating when i got home....

    p.s. gb, pulling ur bag tingy... it's not molesting ur bag okayy... c'mon lor... yi3 qi2 ren2 zhi1 dao4 huan2 zhi4 qi2 ren2 zhi1 shen1... hahaa... scorpions r vengeful.................. *eViL bUt yEt aPoLogEtIc gRiN*


    [[.ran.]] 2:21 pm

    ------
    Monday, August 11, 2003



  • [[.ran.]] 8:50 am

    ------

    devlish date ;)

    meant to put this in last nite but guess i was too exhausted aft the match... so now, haha, pon econs lec la... just don feel like going lecture la...too tired, go in also juz sleep mah...sigh, it's amazing how much excuses i make for myself for not going lecture... so here goes:

    went to mac to study with gb in the evening, not productive...only managed to finish functions tutorials. gb commented that my speed when doing tutorials is slow...actually i kinda agree with him.. really a bit slow todae. haiz... ya noticed gb's hand is less swollen than yesterday but on a second glance, gb ah, it looks as thou it just moved down your hand la... had dinner at mac...my parents r out so ya, no dinner at home... aft dinner, we left mac.

    reached home b4 8, wanted to study biochem actually but haiz, mood to study as usual... went to connect the wireless mouse after much persuasion by my dad... i thought it was going to be pretty difficult for a comp idiot like me but to my relief, it was quite easy... thank goodness for user manuals n idiot-proof guides... i successfully managed to figure out the installation stuff... so darn proud of myself! now my dad is asking me to connect the new modem too.. haiz... if get pro to connect, need to pay $65 n i will be doing it for free...should i barter my services for jay's cd? very tempting! hahaa...

    yup, the real reason for blogging now is ya, THE match la... man utd won... it was 1-1 after full time, with goals by silvestre n henry. so my prediction quite screwed huh...i got henry rite thou... anywayz, utd's linesup was: howard; p neville, ferdinand, silvestre, fortune; keane, butt, scholes, solskjaer; giggs, van nistelrooy. subs: o'shea (for fortune), djemba-djemba (for butt), forlan (for p neville). well the match was quite okayy la, althou everyone looked lethargic. den tt foolish ARSEnal scum francis jeffers got sent off for kicking at p neville...really stupid fool. hahaa. match went into penalties. scholes scored, so did edu...1-1; ferdinand scored but howard saved frm van bronckhorst...2-1; den smthg unbelivable happened... van nistelrooy missed! but wiltord scored...2-2; solskjaer scored, so did lauren...3-3; den forlan scored but HAHA howard saved again, this time from pires of all ppl... so MAN UTD WON 4-3 ON PENALTIES..

    quite happy now...quite bcos it's kinda funny seeing man utd win the shield... cos when they don win the shield, they'll win the league... very xie2 men2 one... man utd last won the shield in 1997 n guess who won the 97/98 season? ARSEnal... n when arsenal won the shield in 98, guess who won the league, the fa cup n the champions league in 98/99? no prizes for guessing.... but hey, being the loyal fan that i am, i predict a bright season ahead for manchester united! ;)

    oh yeah..."devlish date" refers to the match...NOT the mugging okayy. cos manchester united = red devils..it's their sorta uhm, nickname, geddit? hahaa...


    [[.ran.]] 8:27 am

    ------
    Sunday, August 10, 2003
    curtain raiser

    woke up slightly after noon todae... but still quite tired lei...must be the past few days catching up with me... woke up to find tt my mum has bought breakfast for me so i ate it as breakfast n lunch la... wanted to study for chem test but was too er, lazy... sheesh, i just cant seem to get anyting done at home... am feeling a bit guilty esp since i spent the day playing mj yesterday...haiz, shall study later aft i cut my hair... ohh i hope the hairdresser's is open thou...

    actually the main reason i wanna blog now is to talk about... wat else, the community shield match la! FINALLY man... aft 3 months of footballing wilderness, the new epl season is starting again... todae is the curtain raiser match...or wat was previously known as the charity shield. for those who dunoe: the community shield match is the yup, curtain raiser for the new season ahead. it's a match played btwn the last season's league champions n fa cup winner. man utd was the league winner while arsenal was the fa cup winner so they're playing each other tonite... here's my predictions:

    MANCHESTER UNITED: according to manutd.com, the probable linesup tonite will be Barthez; O'Shea, Ferdinand, Silvestre, P Neville; Giggs, Djemba-Djemba, Keane, Scholes, Solskjaer; van Nistelrooy... some pretty impressive names here. well nisty was the top league scorer last season n scored in every game he played on united's tour of the usa, so i expect him to score tonite. besides, solskjaer will want to score too in order to keep his place in the frst eleven cos forlan is improving, unless he decides to take over becks' role in providing crosses... n united will want to win the community shield to gain a psychological advantage over closest title rivals arsenal, n maybe to also build on their home win n away draw when they played arsenal last season. i tink the new signings djemba-djemba, bellion n howard will all get to play at least some parts of the match so tt they can get some experience of playing arsenal. also, fletcher n richardson may get to play too... sorta like to give the younger players some experience...

    ARSEnal: probable lines-up: Lehmann; Cole, Campbell, Keown, Lauren; Ljungberg, Vieira, Edu, Pires; Kanu, Henry... hmm, familiar names yet again. viera had an operation during the off-season, shall see if he has gained enough match fitness... my guess is no. well pires n henry are no doubt good players, henry is certainly an excellent striker, albeit being super showy n always wanting to score "classy" goals... tink he will have learnt frm his lesson last season so i expect him to score tonite. seems like arsenal didnt do anyting to improve their weakest area - defence, except for the signing of keeper lehmann frm dortmund so ya, i don expect them to be able to keep a clean sheet too.

    overall prediction:
    MAN UTD 3 : 1 ARSENAL
    scorers: Van Nistelrooy, Giggs, Solskjaer (man u), henry/pires (ars)


    [[.ran.]] 3:22 pm

    ------

    home

    whenever i am feeling low
    i look around me n i know
    there's a place that will stay within me
    wherever i may choose to go
    i will recall the city, know every street n shore
    sail down the river which brings us life
    winding through my Singapore

    this is home, truly
    where i know i must be
    where my dreams wait for me
    where the river always flow
    this is home, surely
    as my senses tell me
    this is where i won't be alone
    for this is where i know it's home

    when there are troubles to go thru
    we'll find a way to start anew
    there is comfort in the knowledge
    that home's about its people too
    so we'll build our dreams together
    just like we've done brfore
    just like the river that brings us life
    there'll always be Singapore

    this is home, truly
    where i mknow i must be
    where my dreams wait for me
    where the river always flow
    this is home, surely
    as my senses tell me
    this is where i won't be alone
    for this is where i know it's home
    for this is where i know i'm home...


    [[.ran.]] 1:37 am

    ------

    swollen hand symdrome

    wah i finally got a decent connection... was waging a war with my comp just now when the darn modem went haywire... how i look 4wd to aug 26 man! oh maybe the modem knows i'm replacing it so ya, decide to go on strike la... anw, HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY, SINGAPORE!!!

    hey waddya know...i juz came back from a 9hr++ mahjong session at yv's hse... hahaa. went to bai4 my ah gong in the morning, reached home at abt noon, den took a bath, read the papers n den went to yv's hse... was singing along to my discman when i reached yv's hse...i'm sure i sang very nicely but they refuse to let me in... haiz.

    when i finally got into her hse, the action went v fast... the mj table was immediately set up... so while they were busy getting the mj session going, i went to erm, communicate with her fishes lor... so ironic...for someone who hates fishes, she has so many fishes at home.. played mj, got the west wind the first time arnd... when we were playing, we cant help but poke fun at gb's super swollen hand... so swollen! very funny...yv says it looks like andy lau in shou4 shen1 nan2 nü2... it's so much more swollen than the other hand la... n the swollen hand has to be the right hand la, so all the tiles were taken using his right hand... kenna discriminated by us... hahaa. den lunch was ready... since they had a late n heavy breakfast, i was the only one eating lunch initially... hadta eat as i play... was super hungry cos i didnt have breakfast so i ate a lot... later shift into the study room...continued playing la, used chips again, winners get milo again...me n gb won the first round..

    2nd round started immediately n i got the south wind this time arnd... was sitting to gb's left so not directly facing his right hand... hahaaha. den yv's mum came in to see us play n she saw gb's hand n call him go c doc, cos the red ants may have poison, den the poison may "travel all arnd his body n affect his kidney, liver etc..." so we dubbed it the swollen hand syndrome... hence the title for this blog todae =) anw, i za hu once... forgot tt i cannot wait for ka long if i don have tai2... but thx for letting me get off lightly...except for jz la, who wanted to kill me... but aft tt za hu incident, i started to start winning like crazy! really really won a lot...tink i practically won everybody's chips. gb ah, lucky fool... was down to TEN CENTS during the west prevailing wind, den suddenly he started winning his games... by the time the north prevailing wind ended, he ended up being the winner too, along with me la... super tyco la... okayy i just gotta say this here: chan jing zhong, u owe me 2 pckts of milo!! i don wan your self-made one okayy...

    anw, went to watch the opening dance of the ndp parade... made the guys watch it too... it's just so fantastically nice! super man! all the girls r so zai n so chio, n the whole performance is so co-ordinated n just so wonderful! of cos, tt was proudly brought to u by the gals frm the most zai sch around... cedar girls secondary school!! hahaa...

    okayy, went to play bridge in yv's room aft mj ended...ya n i promised to spread this around... someone was slping on yv's bed... it's obvious who tt someone is rite? so scandalous man! hahaaha... gb, *hIgH fIvE* ... okayy, got down to playing bridge... won some n lost some but tt's not really impt... the hilarious tingy is the pillow fight tt we had... it all started when gb called yv n jz jian1 fu1 yin2 fu4... den they started hitting him... i stayed out of it initially... until when me n gb won den yv call us tt back... don wan to hit yv so i hit jz instead... turns out gb n i both target jz so naturally he hit back la... started some super hiong pillow fighting... quite painful but super funny...

    ya left yv's hse aft 10.30...walked home with gb n jz...mum commented on how come i can stand playing mj for so darn long on our nation's birthday... i told her "why not" n she had no other comments...hahaa.

    yup tt's my day today...ya anw, decided to add the link to jz's blog too... enjoy =)

    p.s. the bed ting...it's just a joke. i min, someone was lying on yv's bed la but den, all of us were... don anyone be offended or angry k =)

    p.p.s. gb ah, pls pls pls go c a doc if the swelling does not subside okayy... i don wanna c a guobin tt has one arm that is twice the size of the other... if not i surely will laugh myself to death one... ahahaaha...


    [[.ran.]] 1:26 am

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    Saturday, August 09, 2003
    new layout!

    yay finally manage to get my blog layout sorted out =)
    it's very nice, no? feel free to praise the layout in my guestbook...
    i seriously tink i'm quite zai la...figure this out mostly by myself, but ya, hafta thank some ppl... to the ppl who contributed at blogskins.com forum where i read thru some comments tt described how to change layouts n troubleshoot problems... to gb, who told me how to put in my blogger entries n for offering to teach me how to change the layout (thou it nv happened, but its okayy, i figured it out myself ;D )...
    tink i shall add the link to blogskins, it's not bad...LOTS of nice skins to choose from... anyone need help just tell me, i'll be v glad to help...


    [[.ran.]] 1:39 am

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    You are DORY!
    What Finding Nemo Character are You?

    brought to you by Quizilla


    [[.ran.]] 12:34 am

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    did the quizzes tingy on gb's blog...


    Taking over me. You've got it made. You've got the
    love of your life right there with you. Then
    all of a sudden they aren't with you. You will
    do anything to be with them. You don't want to
    be this way so you try to drop them out of your
    thoughts. But they always come back. Keep
    trying.


    What Evanescence song are you? (from their CD Fallen)
    brought to you by Quizilla


    scgs
    Singapore Chinese Girls' school


    which secondary school (singapore) should you be in?
    brought to you by Quizilla
    too bad they don have cedar...guess we are just too good for them =)


    [[.ran.]] 12:16 am

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    national day eve

    oops, seems like i've missed the 12am "deadline".
    anw, todae, no, yesterdae wass national day eve... went to sch for national day celebrations... the program wasnt interesting, esp the string ensemble performance (oops, no offence)... i like the ics dance thou, quite funny. oh n is kylash cool or wat? he's so.... dunoe how to say, got the x-factor. genia likes him a lot thou. too bad he doesnt fall into my category of 'cute guys' but he's charming! ahahaaha. did mass dance... yup, all 6 of them... havent done them since orientation la... had a great time dancing. thou hadta pretend i didnt c some of the irritants around. had a shouting match, erm sorta a competition with jim...so funny... did frenship dance with cheng.. like how long havent i danced tt? hahaa. anw, ran into yz while dancing whiney so i asked her if she wanna join us to meet ll... yup,managed to meet up with celia, yy, van, ll, jo, beng, ws, kex, yz n mich... so long nv c them liao! hahaa. had lunch at mos at ps...it turns out tt all of us r ebi rice burger fans! (jealous, yv?) hahaa.. den slacked arnd, wanted to go planet paradigm at ssc to play pool but as usual, it was flooded with cj ppl...waiting list until 8pm can? haha... in the end we decided to head back to ps... initially wanted to watch home run but jo suddenly say wanna watch some mandy moore movie, so we went to check out the movie listings... 2+ show sold out,nxt show is at 4.45...felt tired so i bailed out, didnt watch with them...we went to starbucks to slack while they wait til 4+. was contemplating going home when my daddy called me, ask me to accompany him to hello singtel since i was in orchard...said he wanna change hp, ask me go help him.. so ya, went to meet my dad n my mum...den when i met them, they say singtel got promotion onli for todae, sign up for broadband den besides 1st 6 mths at half price, oso got free modem, free usb port tingy n free wireless mouse... like how cool is tt? hahaa... but went there onli to find out tt my dear parents didnt read the fine prints tt said "only frm 8pm til midnite"...haiz.... but decided not to waste the trip so we went to enquire abt stuff... den aft tt went home...
    hahaa den the exciting part comes... u all know tmr is national day? so we must celebrate all tings singaporean rite? i'm a patriotic gal... went to amk at 7.30 with my dad n mum... to the hello shop there la! hahaa, not bad, we were 23rd in the queue...hadta wait for abt an hr... but finally, finally got my broadband deal... account's activating only on 26 aug thou. but hey, i'm not complaining! hahaa... went out empty handed, came back with my dad's new nokia 6610, a modem, a usb port tingy n a wireless mouse...n thx to a card, the weight of the wallet didnt feel any different... hmm tt mins i wont get my jay cd anytime soon if i intend to persuade my dad to sponsor tt cd... nvm, i shall save then. ;)
    reached home some time aft 9, went to watch the final episode of the ch 8 show den watched amazing race at 10 as usual.. this week one is not bad but my fave clowns r eliminated... so suay lei... due to unforseen circumstances lor... ya anywayz, going to play mj tmr again.. i hope we play til late, den can watch the national day celebrations 2gthr... there's a fantastic performance... the opening dance...trust me, it's definitely fantastic. everyone look out for it okayy... rite, tt's abt it todae... smilez!


    [[.ran.]] 12:02 am

    ------
    Friday, August 08, 2003
    of strength n weakness

    i am just a girl
    i'm not who u think i am
    i'm so very weak, without a mind of my own
    so i rely
    i rely on people, i rely on routine
    yes i crave change
    but at the same time,
    i'm afraid of it.

    u never know how much u mean to me
    and how much u influenced me
    because i never did tell u
    sometimes i long to do so
    but i'm just a coward, i'm scared things will change
    there's a tiny flicker of hope within me
    that somehow u feel the same way too
    but i'm afraid to ask
    cos i'm afraid of change

    i'm just a coward, i cant take reality
    if ever comes the moment i know the truth
    if it's good, will i embrace it?
    if it's bad, will i let it go?
    i try to convince myself that i will,
    tt i am a rational person,
    tt to be too dependent on a person is not wat i should do
    but like i said,
    i'm just a coward, i cant take reality

    sometimes i feel as thou tings are perfect
    tt nothing can go wrong
    but yet sometimes i feel confused
    like every signal is so mixed up
    so i live for the present
    i don dare to tink of wat can n may happen
    cos i'm so weak, i cant even face my feelings

    the day tings work out, will the day all these will end
    be it good or bad, i'm sure i'll never forget this
    for u gave me some of the best memories of my life
    of which i'll always be thankful
    i just wanna tell u this:
    that thru u, i've learnt to appreciate life more
    thru u, i've experienced great companionship
    n thru u, i've learned some of life's greatest lessons
    for that, i thank u,
    watever the ending of this story may be


    [[.ran.]] 11:54 pm

    ------
    Thursday, August 07, 2003
    nice

    todae is a so-so day for me i guess...had chem prac early in the morn, was quite easy i tink... va n qa can do but self-design...sighz. anw, didnt feel like going for chem lec aft the prac, esp since it's robert yeo lecturing... so i pon lor, accompanied hy arnd the sch to help her fix her prob, den went to r1... decided to pon maths lec too althou it's fong... felt quite good cos i realised i long time never pon lec liao... wat can i say? i'm too guai1... hahaa. played bluff in reading room with gb since 2 of us not enough to play other stuff... leong saw us, den we stopped, began talking... abt the feather n the chicken tingy again...laughed like crazy... aft sch, studied in r2... it was so noisy in there, luckily i brought my discman todae... den yv, gb n jz appeared aft their chem prac, ask me to go r3.. but we ended up at the tables behind the reading rooms... did a bit of functions, den played bluff again... i realised i am quite lousy at bluff... haiz. den went for tuition... was telling ed abt how his uh, partner, address him... ahahaaha. tuition was quite okayy todae, still blur over thermodynamics but somehow i didnt feel as tired as the previous few times... n ed got his name "immortalised"....... on a packet of chicken-flavoured junk food... hahaa. i didnt write anyting serious la, just wrote "edwin is a fool"... hahaaha. tuition ended before 7.30 todae, much earlier than last week... n it seems like last week's constant bugging had worked, managed to get gary chan to send us to dhoby ghaut mrt station. well he was going to town to meet his gf anw... ya took nel with sj, got home much earlier than last week, can afford to take my own sweet time to shower den settle down to watch chemistry...
    i remember last week i was feeling damn pissed aft tuition. actually i often feel pissed after tuition... guess it's bcos of thurs' boring lecs, the long wait aft sch, the taxing tuition n the shitty time i reach home every thurs.. but todae i was feeling quite okayy lei... tink bcos i pon lecs todae, didnt have to rot in the lt, tt's y feel more refreshed for tuition. plus the fact i managed to reach home earlier todae...
    celia just called me just now, ask me when we're gonna meet up, esp since ll is back in s'pore. well i havent seen them since last dec... shall fix a date soon... just tt we're scattered all over s'pore... cedar, vj, aj, sa, ny... a bit diff to co-ordinate but i really hope we can meet up... i miss u all....
    yup, tt's it for todae... tmr is national day celebrations... dunoe aft tt got wat plans also... tmr den say la. tata.


    Sometimes I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
    And I can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear
    take the wheel and steer
    It's driven me before and it seems to have a vague
    haunting mass appeal
    But lately I'm beginning to find I
    should be the one behind the wheel

    Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there
    with open arms and open eyes yeah
    Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there
    I'll be there

    So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive
    will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive
    It's driven me before and it seems to be the way
    that everyone else gets around
    But lately I'm beginning to find that
    when I drive myself my light is found

    Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there
    with open arms and open eyes Yeah
    Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there
    I'll be there

    Would you choose water over wine
    hold the wheel and drive

    Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there
    with open arms and open eyes
    Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there
    I'll be there
    ~"Drive" by Incubus

    p.s. this is a darn nice song... heard it in gary chan's car... am sinking into it all over again =)


    [[.ran.]] 10:31 pm

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    Wednesday, August 06, 2003
    missing

    well i had a good start to sch todae... managed to get to listen to jay's new songs... i don care wat other ppl say, i tink his songs r nice... as i was telling yv, his songs in one album got a "template" one. got 3 or 4 pretty fast songs, 3 or 4 mid tempo songs n 2-3 slow songs... den out of all his songs, will have some tt r like, quite out of touch frm his life one. like in the 2nd album got 威廉古堡, 雙截棍, 3rd album got 半獸人, 最後的戰役... u get the point la hor? haha. aiyah dunoe y, this blogger cant seem to read simplified chi.
    anywayz, had this talk on s'pore's economic success aft sch... thought it was a waste of my time... i didnt gain anyting frm it at all... did my econs essay outline n studied for tmr's pre-prelim chem prac test instead... felt super tired aft the talk, all i wanted to do was to get home... so i bugged yv to go home instead of studying in the reading room... took 13...journey was pretty ave i guess... but like missing something like that.. dunoe y or wat also... anywayz, oh yah, todae i was reminded of the feather n the chicken tingy in class again... honestly i tink ling is going crazy, suddenly got up n started saying some super funny stuff... den the both of us ended up laughing hysterically, esp after i told ling abt the feather n chicken tingy... tink the others thought we were going crazy =) hahaa...
    okayy, i just put up the tracker tingy, not really sure how it works too, shall c how la... yup, tinking of changing the layout of this blog too... only problem is tt i'm quite a html-idiot, so i don really have an idea as to wat to do... well i went to check out some blog templates liao, some of them are honestly quite good... shall learn it step by step la... i bliv i can do it... well hope u guys will get to c a new layout soon... if not everytime c this one also quite boring rite? ;)


    [[.ran.]] 7:44 pm

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    Tuesday, August 05, 2003
    grateful

    Woke up with a terrible headache again… I was so tempted to go back to slp aft I woke my bro up… my bro also tell me to go back to slp some more… but I dunoe wat got into me, I actually persuaded myself to go n brush my teeth… but still I was tempted to go back to slp aft I brushed my teeth… but tt tiny little voice inside my head keep telling me to go to sch todae… so i took it as some divine intervention n decided to go to sch instead. Aft I got down the bus, I kinda regretted going cos my head was aching like crazy...very painful... den i practically slept thru the first 4 lessons tt i had todae... took panadol extra (fast relief) during break... must say it's really quite effective cos i felt better immediately n miraculously, i did not fall aslp during econs n double gp =) didnt wanna go for maths lec cos i nv bring hypothesis testing notes but i didnt feel like sitting in the reading room again... oh i just discovered tt i am supposed to be romantically linked to wei lin n tian yue oso... oh man, my taste not tt bad okayy... n how many times must i say i'm totally straight, tt there isn't a homo gene in me? right, yv n joyce? *hUgE wInKz* ahahaaha. anywayz, sat with ling instead of hy during phy prac just now... decided we need to simulate the exams surroundings. since we might be sharing the same bench during phy prac exam, we decided to sit 2ghtr now... discover new methods of eh...helping each other out.. hahaaha. it's a relatively easy prac... oscillations again, whew, at least don have tt stupid potentiometer, circuit this, wire tt... yucks.

    went home with gb...thx 4 waiting for me. n did smthg super muggish on the bus... were discussing abt kinetics self design expt... i felt muggish to even open the chem prac book on the bus.. hahaa. well someone else was so muggish tt he finished functions tutorial liao...darn mugger! den was talking abt movies... well gb, don deny... u r SDLC. denying it makes it worse :)

    was intending to watch the smallville episiode tt i recorded last nite n blog at 8+ but my dad just announced he wants to use the comp at nite so here i am... yup, tt's abt my day todae, cya all tmr!

    sometimes i feel so congested
    and i just want to let it go
    but i tink of all those times we had together
    those that made me smile, those that didn't...
    n all of a sudden, watever i do seems worthwhile
    u may not tink that this is a big deal
    but it is to me...
    i'm thankful for every single thing u did for me
    although it may seem trivial to u
    it matters a lot to me
    just a simple smile, just a little gesture
    makes it all worthwhile.


    [[.ran.]] 6:28 pm

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    Monday, August 04, 2003
    treats

    i woke up with a bitching headache todae (oops, pardon my language)... was super super tired... fell aslp in cook's lec almost instantly. lessons r quite okayy todae...i like mon, it's a slack day for me. phy lec test was a screw up... data analysis qn is sickening man... on thermodynamics... the very topic tt i know nth abt. haiz... tink phang will c a reversal of scores this time.
    went to eat lunch with genia n cheng todae... had an interesting talk with genia... quite funny cos we bitching arnd.. talked abt zw, es, je, g, jc, a lot of ppl. well since we were in a bitching mode, obviously we were not praising them la... hahaa. it's nice talking to genia...realised we have some stuff in common, like, we don like the same ppl... hahaa. girl, nxt time we must 38 together more often ya? hahaa...
    went to r2 to do work aft sch... talked to jz for some time while waiting for gb n yv to come... den did nucleic acids tut... it was darn tough, gave up aft 2 qns...went to do tuition hwk instead...was listening to gb's discman while doing work... got jay's new songs... all v nice! n aey i'm not biased okayy... is his new feng1 ge2 wat... experiment with new styles, if every time his songs all the same den he'll be no diff frm all the other mediocre singers liao '__' yup den the headache came back to haunt me...tried to slp but to no avail... head was too pain to slp... den since we were sharing the earphones, had to stay in one position or risk having my ear ripped off...;) aft tt i totally no mood to do anyting liao... sorrie if i seemed very off n half dead just now...
    went to treats to have dinner...ate the chicken ramen, which kinda looked like some glorified maggi mee... haiz, but it's not bad. the ramen soup was quite nice...yv was eating v slowly... ended up eating more quickly under jz n gb's constant bugging... hahaa. all of us took 31 todae... jz n yv ah, so childish man... den i suay suay stand near them so hafta acknowledge them...aiyoh ;) haiz, still having headache now, tink i will record smallville instead of watching it. shld get more slp... actually i don feel like going sch tmr but got lotsa tut.. quite troublesome if i don go tmr, but really is like, i got no incentive to go sch, nth to look 4wd to...at least todae got dinner at treats, u know... haiz, shall c how i feel when i wake up tmr, tt is, if i can manage to get up la.
    ya anw, tink my sian-ing skills have reached a new level... tink i got gb convinced tt raw egg white will help to set the hair colour... hahaa. tink he really bliv. well gb, thank goodness i called u in time rite? hey don be pissed okayy? i really really thought u already saw thru my fake story n only playing along... i'm sorry okayy... don be pissed... althou juz now i was laughing my heart out over the phone...hahaa. oops. :)

    "Yellow" by Coldplay
    Look at the stars,
    Look how they shine for you,
    And everything you do
    Yeah, they were all yellow.

    I came along,
    I wrote a song for you,
    And all the things you do,
    And it was called "Yellow."

    So then I took my turn,
    Oh what a thing took done,
    And it was all yellow.

    Your skin
    Oh yeah, your skin and bones,
    Turned into something beautiful,
    You know
    You know I love you so,
    You know I love you so.

    I swam across,
    I jumped across for you,
    Oh what a thing to do.
    Cuz you were all yellow,

    I drew a line,
    I drew a line for you,
    Oh what a thing to do,
    And it was all yellow.

    Your skin,
    Oh yeah your skin and bones,
    Turned into something beautiful,
    You know,
    For you I'd bleed myself dry,
    For you I'd bleed myself dry.

    It's true, look how they shine for you,
    Look how they shine for you,
    Look how they shine for...
    Look how they shine for you,
    Look how they shine for you,
    Look how they shine...

    Look at the stars;
    Look how they shine for you,
    And all the things that you do


    [[.ran.]] 10:10 pm

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    Sunday, August 03, 2003
    sunday is a sunny day =)

    went to yv's hse todae to study n play mj... reached her hse at abt 11.45 like tt. barely did 2 qns when the topic of lunch started coming up... actually is me n yv want to cook one but gb suddenly declared himself as chief cook n took over the cooking... aiyoh god bless ah, luckily i didnt LS todae... gb ah, ur hashbrown is so "nice", n so "healthy"... hahaa. in the end, gb n jz ended up cooking for us... okayy la, yv got help too... i agreed with des tt too many cooks spoil the broth so i went to do estimation tutorial lor =) aey we didnt eat for free okayy...we ended up washing the dishes... haiz, n i swore last nite tt i don wan to end up washing the dishes... chey.

    anw, went to read august cleo aft lunch while the rest of them studied. eh, read this very interesting article on the life of someting...hahaaahaaa. gb u know wat i'm talking abt rite? i'm not sick okayy, juz tt it was funny mah. den i went to complete my estimation tut... ayu's cd was blaring in the backgrd...n yv n jz ended up listening to their own music instead... n yv, wat pian1 xin1? u're gonna get it man.....wassup with u, woman?

    den went to play mahjong with des, gb n yv...decided not to play money cos we r all running deficits... darn, shld have played money la... the mj shen2 is with me todae n all the winds were blowing in my favour... i won one 5 tai2 game... i was on a winning streak todae! needless to say, i ended up the big winner again...n got a large cup of milo as my reward...well i'll take watever i can get :) but i had to leave at 5+ cos i got family dinner tonite...but not b4 going to c gb put tt goo on his hair... so stinky...alas, the price of vanity ;)

    anw, dinner was at sea view hotel n yv, u're almost rite... the place is at amber close, near pkway. the food is okayy la...nth very special but still nice cos it's with my maternal granny's side of my family n also, it's free =) hahaa. was sitting opp my uncle n we were discussing abt tonite's men's singles final... he's supporting malaysia's wong choon hann while i support china's xia xuan ze... well these 2 r still locked in the 3rd n decisive set now... den my aunt was talking abt this waffle ice cream n crepes place at raffles link shopping centre tt's super nice.. $9.80 per waffle... she says she's gonna treat me some day... well i'm definitely looking forward to tt! she say until like super super nice like tt, ten times better than gelare... cant wait!

    anw, heard this joke while i was in my daddy's car on my way home:
    the 3 teddy bears were missing goldilocks who finally went home after contacting her parents. one fine day, they woke up n baby bear, being hungry, went to the kitchen, took a look at his bowl n cried: "someone's been eating my porridge!" father bear went to the kitchen, looked at his bowl n growled angrily: "someone's been eating my porridge too!" at this time, mother bear walked in to see wat the commotion was abt, took a look at all the bowls n scowled angrily at father n baby bear. then finally, she hissed out: "tt's bcos i haven't cook the darn porridge yet!"
    hahaaahaaa

    reached home at abt 9.30 n here i am again... well okayy, tink i should go off liao... cya all in sch tmr!

    p.s. to the usual ppl: i realised we've been seeing each other 7 days a week..... wow.


    [[.ran.]] 10:22 pm

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    Saturday, August 02, 2003
    a new chapter =)

    todae is a happy day for me... i'm very glad tings turned out fine. well acty i was sorta in two minds when i msged gb this morn but i was glad i asked him to go for the scholars' choice tingy... hey i told u liao, the reason i called u only at 11.45 is not my fault okayy...i was up n abt at 10.30... is yv who was slping... but all the same, we managed to make it for the workshop tingy mah... ya the wkshop was quite interesting...the US talk is quite boring but the UK talk was quite funny... i can imagine cook sayin the exact same tings..hahaa. did the DiSC personality test again n i realised tt my personality trend has changed. i tink it's not v true lei, the method of analysing was diff frm wat i did the previous few times. anw, my personality trait this time is ID... it used to be ISD. but my D is negative score, S is positive score... dunoe la, but my I component is v high, C component is very low... these 2 still remain the same. aft the wkshop, we went to walk arnd... went into tower records to check out jay's new cd... looks good! but is quite expensive... okayy i'm determined to buy it... shall check out the price of the cd at every available cd shop b4 i buy...
    den later went to ymca mac... did estimation tut while they talked... i was doing my work when i heard the ppl at the table next to me talking abt consumer price index n producer price index... so i turned to look at them n they were like "oh tink we disturb other ppl liao"... hahaa. anw, tings turned out well... by the time i finish qn 4, they were done... den we all talked abt some stuff...i was wronged!! i really only wrote "jiahui rocks"... some fool changed it okayy. den des got his rendezvous n he left... so the 4 of us went ljs to eat dinner...met a v weird guy who was sitting nxt to yv... keep draping his arm over the divider... hahaa. den gb went to buy the cream developer tingy...we gonna help him do a hair makeover tmr... well, i'm looking forward to tmr... get to play mj again... althou it's gonna be the same old ppl again.
    anw, got a msg from lingli todae... welcome back to s'pore, girl! maybe we could can meet up some time... ya anw, hope ya hse freezer is big enough for u to live in =)
    wah there seems to a new power in the world of badminton mens' doubles... there's this pair frm china who's playing darn well now...very sharp smashes, good reflexes, tall, quick rxns, juz tt they r still quite inexperienced... am watching them playing now with my daddy... well i'm looking forward to the singapore open =)
    anw, man utd won yesterday! they beat juventus 4-1... giggs, van nistelrooy, scholes n solskjaer scored...straits times said veron was man of the match but manutd.com said keeper tim howard was motm... wateva la, we won... tt's most impt =) i'm now very much looking forward to the new epl season... it'll start with the charity shield against arsenal on aug 10... can't wait! anw, juz checked out man utd's fixtures for 03/04... they're playing liverpool away on 9 nov! wow if they win, it'll be a very nice bday "present" for me...

    "Here I Am" ~ Bryan Adams
    Here I am - this is me
    There's no where else on earth I'd rather be
    Here I am - it's just me and you
    And tonight we make our dreams come true

    It's a new world - it's a new start
    It's alive with the beating of - young hearts

    It's a new day - it 's a new plan
    I've been waiting for you
    Here I am


    [[.ran.]] 11:30 pm

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    Friday, August 01, 2003



    like woah, is he cute or wat? for all those not into smallville: this is the lead actor tom welling (clark kent in the show). well u can c him on mondays, 10.30pm on ch5... so cute

    p.s. gb, how's this for a pic??


    [[.ran.]] 10:00 pm

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    friday

    boring title, i know... well todae aft sch, yv seemed to have disappeared... couldn't reach her hp, ask so many ppl but no one seems to know where she has gone... like vanish into thin air lyk tt... ya den zj told me she went home... haha n i tot u disappeared into thin air... anw, todae i went with joyce n yy to pkway. they wanted to eat at makan parade, no wait, the new name is treats... okayy they wanted to eat at treats n i felt like eating the chin chow... hmmm it's really v nice. den we wantd to go bk to study but b4 tt, joyce wanted to go mph to buy stuff so i went to look at the intepreting ur dreams tingy... got quite a surprise when i read it. remember tt time i said i dreamt of my teeth dropping? here is wat it says:
    toothache - a sign of the deterioration of an impt relationship
    loose teeth - warning of untrustworthy frens
    if teeth fell out or u spat it out - it is a season of financial reverses
    erm...wat m i supposed to make of this?

    n gb, this is for u:
    secret - intrigue among those u have trusted is forecast in a dream of hearing a secret. repeating a secret is a sign tt u will have to defend urself against malicious gossip
    dreaming of ur horoscope - signals the eventual achievement of contentment n security thru ur own patient efforts
    library - a fortunate omen, particularly auspicious for those engaged in artistic or creative activities
    go figure.

    anw, i went to take some "which ayumi song r u?" quiz tingy found on gb's blog n guess wat, gb? my song is evolution. eat ur heart out man...


    [[.ran.]] 9:17 pm

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    part 2

    i juz managed to finish rushing thru may maro part 3 essay outlines... what a bore. so here i m in the comp lab again. i tink it's a weird coincidence tt chan was talking abt blogs during asembly this morn n how other ppl can c them. so uncanny. well if anyting, i tink that the idiotic journalist who quoted other ppl's blogs in their article in order to make the stories more interesting r juz plain darn morons. tt's so irresponsible. we don need a journalist to help us publicise our feelings, thx but no thx. just now for an instant i almost thought tt chan was going to ban blogs or smthg den i realised she has no ability to do tt...

    anw, this is part 2 of the story i wrote last nite:

    i tink yesterday i really was letting out loads of hot air. now tt i get to read it back, i realised that some of the tings i said sounded so juvenile n trivial. but i'm not about to retract n say "oh actually i tink i have a fantastic life after all"... todae didnt really start out on a bright note in the first place. well i guess the journey to my sch was okayy n as per normal but once school started... i don know, the feelings just came right back at me. u bunch of ppl... only tink for urselves, don u? when u wan company, u ask me "oh do u want to accompany me to (do wateva tt is tt u want to do)?" n u know i'll feel bad if i refuse u. u make it sound as thou u're tinking n caring abt if i want some company when in fact u know perfectly well tt i'm doing smthg else. well actually tt's okayy, i don mind a diversion frm my work sometimes. n to an extended bunch of ppl..again, no pin-pointing n name-calling, to u guys, i'm just such a strong n independent girl, aren't i? nth can trouble me, can it? if i'm around, it's taken for granted. if i'm not around, u guys probably won't even ask abt me... i've just seen the evidence. someone wasnt here n the next day, ppl started asking if tt someone is feeling better, is feeling okayy but me? no one asks.bcos i'm just such a darn strong n independent person... am i just tt to u all? tt it's not worth bother asking me if i'm feeling well? well in a way, if i do look on the bright side, i'll say i feel honoured huh...thx for having faith in my strength n my independence. i don min to sound like a screwed up person who is extremely bitter with life cos tt's not really true. i have some frens n i'm really thankful tt i have them in my life. n i'm not trying to sound as if u ppl r the worst n most unfeeling frens i've ever made cos tt's not true too...we do have some happy moments together. it's just tt, lately i tink tt u all have begun to neglect how i feel n ya, take for granted tt i'm always gonna be here to make u all smile. i need u all to be more aware of how i feel, just like the way i know it when u all need some laughter in your life. i know tt my personality has flaws too, tt sometimes i can be so stupid n stubborn n blunt n tt may not have rubbed off well with u ppl. i also know tt amongst the whole group of us, i'm probably the one who's more "detached" from u all. tt's y it's always u all make plans to do stuff den later ( as in, very much later) den ask me, rite? i know i aint a saint. but devils have feelings too u know? i don need u all to be extra sensitive n polite with me as tt would be so fake, i just want a little more understanding from u all. stop trying to put me down all the time alrite. i am worth some credits too. as i've said before, i know that u all probably wont get to read this althou u may know i keep an online journal so i guess u all probably wont realise i'm actually a little disappointed with our current relationships but yes, i hope tings will change. i hope tt the next time i write an entry, it will be abt smthg positive abt our relationships.

    well yup, tt's part 2. this morn someone asked me if the story i wrote last nite was abt e... i can tell u it's not. i don know how e tinks n i don tink i'm psychic enough to presume to know wat other ppl r tinking. i know my limits okayy. as for how i got the story... well let's juz say i have my sources...it's up to u how u want to interpret wat i told u n up to u to find out abt this source tt i have. i'm not going to tell. well there're still some other parts to the story... as for these other parts..we'll see how they come along okayy... right, gotta go for double econs soon...


    [[.ran.]] 9:40 am

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