Monday, June 28, 2004

my poor comp is sick! dont know what on earth is wrong with it! maybe its having an esp bad case of pms.. hah.
well in any case, i wanna say a HUGE thank you to licheng! who sacrificed his sunday to come over to my house to help me fix this comp. thou its still sick! well at least my os is now windows xp, i have office2003 and nero6.0.. my ie is nuts! one moment the modem works, when u restart the comp, it doesnt work again.. its driving me crazy. and when i finally can go online (like now), its super duper lagging! i took nearing half an hour just so i can access blogger.. ARGH.
ritez shall stop complaining. should be thankful i can even access the net right now.
lemme see what i've done these few days..

fri..
nOtHiNg! so pathetic. besides work la. sian! sorrie darling i couldnt meet u but glad u still managed to find company! =)
oh oh i bought "da vinci's code" at times bookstore..

sat..
went to raffles medical group at t'pines in the morning to do my pre-enrolment med checkup. had to undergo chest xray, urine test, eyesight and colour vision test, ht and wt etc.. wasnt too pleased to hear my weight =( and i met this poly girl who is entering the school of information systems. she's really nice.. but i still didnt get her name even though we chatted quite a bit. man, i'm really lousy with names. i should improve on that!
met up with nicholas in the evening at ps.. its really great to see him again! havent seen him in a loooonnnggg time. we went to eat at thai express. the food is not bad la, though my fried rice with shrimps actually had sotongs in it (i'm mildly allergic to them) and it looks the same as nic's rice with olives thingy. then we went to watch, erm or rather, i made him watch "windstruck" with me! its a nicceeee show! so funny and sweet and touching! i have to say its better than "my sassy gal"! the actress is better in windstruck! and the male lead is so cute!! well, except for the bad teeth. hahaa. negative effects of smoking i guess. the endind is a bit draggy but its still nice! 4.3 out of 5 stars! 4.5 if the male lead's teeth was nice. (i mean, 5/5 is only for harry potter and the sorcerer's stone and lotr 2 and 3!) thanks shifu for watching it with me! (he thought the show wasnt really good)
went home after that.. damn tired and i had a headache..

sun..
spent the whole day fixing the comp. but it still aint fully fixed. full stop.

mon..
ritez, happy bday guobin! one more person has crossed over to the 19-yr-old list.
anw, went to dbs with my dad this morn to get a study loan.. hope im not too late!
uhm actually i have to fess up.. i cant really stand michael! my colleague. everything abt him just puts me off. okayy maybe i'm just biased. *bleah* im a damn biased person. once i form an initial impression of u, its hard to change it! bad habit!
and today's supposed to be a good day for scorpios.. kind of like a "everyone is attracted to scorpios" day.. but well, this scorpion here certainly isnt feeling that way.

oh yeah, wanna blog about this weird dream i have some days ago!
okayy in the dream, there was this person. lets just call him C. (ok i wanted to use b**t**d but its just a waste of energy). i was really angry at him. not angry, but pissed off. then i met his friend, whose name i dont know but lets call him D. n in the end, i dated D just to spite C. not that i like C. but i wanted to let him know i can still go on even though he pissed me off real bad. n i didnt even like D! complicated? hahaa. but i can still remember the dream rather clearly. dating a person just to spite another? sounds bad. its not a good sign.. i can feel it.

*whew* long entry. considering my comp is super retarded now.


------ Friday, June 25, 2004

in the office now..
my home comp has problems.. i cant go online!!
the worst thing is, no one knows how to fix it! not my colleagues in the it dept, not the singnet ppl.. argh!

and i never thought i'd hear myself say this:
damnit, david beckham!


------ Tuesday, June 22, 2004

been able to leave work early these past 2 days =)
uhmz actually i have stuff to say de but funnily, i cant remember them le.

watched england vs croatia this morning.. im glad i persuaded myself to wake up at 2.40.. its a great match! lots of goal and flair even. rooooooneeeyyyyy. wonderkid. think mike owen is really going through a bad form. he missed so many chances. the first goal by scholes, it should have been owen's goal if owen made up his mind and reacted more quickly. instead he hesitated and that slowed him down, allowing croatia's gk to block his effort. didnt matter thou, scholes scored from the rebound.
and i thought that prso played brilliantly. very tricky, always trying to dribble. his style of play was unpredictable, which was a nightmare for defenders. esp ashley cole.
unlike england whom i thought is getting predictable. they're playing what i call the "surge and retreat" style. surge forward quickly then cut back deeper into the midfield to free up rooney and owen. which is a good tactic cos both owen n rooney are good at beating offside traps. but they do it everytime.
and what happened to beckham? his crosses were not good last night. i thought lampard played superbly. so did john terry. and of cos, wayne roooonneeyyyyyy!!
ritez enough of soccer. did i tell anyone i am a secret fan of england? hahaa.
now england play hosts portugal in the q-finals! *excited*

why cant holland play that smoothly? van nistelrooy my kio sai king! *gRiNz* and roy makaay. why doesnt holland's coach play him? and van der vaart. and davids. and kluivert? and seedorf? argh. all such brilliant players but they somehow just cant perform in the big games! missed out on world cup 02, now they might well be booted from euro 04 too! oh no! haiz.. hope they WIN against greece tomorrow morning! kick them germans out!

okayy okayyyy enough of soccer already. didya know i fell asleep at work today? for abt 10 mins. hahaa. eventually got help to stay awake in the form of hot mocha.

euro euro euro!
didnt realise just how much i miss watching good soccer! what? epl just ended in may? sure felt like a long time.


------ Sunday, June 20, 2004

got a new hair colour and a haircut!
cant remember the exact colour thou.. hair cut was okayy.. got the hairstylist to give me a short fringe. heehee.. my hairstylist was a china guy. i think he's new to the place also. but i think he's supposed to be not bad one cos i was the only one still left in the salon by abt 7.30pm then some of the other stylists came by to observe him. haha. he's a perfectionist. took so long to cut the hair. keeps scrutinising his own work. which is good in a way ba.

uhmz uhmz nothing much to add.. i'm off to watch the oc le!


------ Saturday, June 19, 2004

its funny how people(read: celia) think that i've become richer just because i've got my mini debit card le. haha. girl ah, i only got a debit card. the bank doesn't miraculously put money into my bank account can? i'm still the poor me..

anw, i've had a super amusing dream about mini debit card last night. muahahaaahaaaaa. cant stand it. cant believe i actually have such a stupid dream!

today is the last workshop for svap for june. the talk was okayy ba. a little boring when the 4 groups presented their projects. i actually dozed off and only woke up when alvin who was beside me asked those cj people about their projects. sheesh.
helped out with hongming, youwei and yeeyen's group today. that grp is quite quiet de. but their comm service project quite outta the world. so difficult to carry out! well, just wish them all the best..

after svap, we went town for dinner. ate at fish and co at glass house. had the teriyaki salmon which was nice btw. had wanted to go meet my class gals but... they were at hard rock cafe at tanglin! so far.. by the time i walked there, it would have been 10pm ba. so sorry i couldnt join u gals.. i certainly didnt expect u all to go hrc! nvm, we still have july. as i've told cheng, lets meet up to 1. watch movie; 2. shop!! 3. eat dinner and chill 4. club and 5. anything and everything else! i miss u all a lot man..

going to do my hair tomorrow!!!!


------ Thursday, June 17, 2004

am stuck in office now =( sigh sigh. work work work.

i'm really sick. down with the flu and sore throat. my voice has morphed into this really ugly sounding toad's voice =(

went down to vj to collect my cert yesterday. vj has really changed a lot! they're finally renovating lt2 and 3.. they smell horrible man.. esp lt3. still rem my econs lec there. hahaa. they always have this really dank smell. oh the hall doors remind me of eh, wardrobes. or cabinets. really.

anw, yesterday was SVAP day 2.. had a trainer come in for the workshop on service-learning. wasnt there for almost the whole talk cos had to discuss teh evaluation and report with gavin. then had to carry stuff to lt73. haha. so i guess programme was smooth.
went to ps for dinner. went to see alvin play that percussion freak. well i havent stepped into an arcade for a long long time. had dinner at the food court then went home. i cant really rem what happened cos i was really quite seh man..

when will my day end?? still waiting for the dumb programme to finish running so that we can verify reports. *big sigh*

im sick! i need my bed and my pillow and my bolster and my blanket and good soothing music! i need rest! i need concern! i need comfort! wont u give me some??

alright i'm going bonkers.

just give me benjamin mckenzie. i'll take that for now =p


------ Tuesday, June 15, 2004

think i'm falling sick.. been having an itchy throat and a partially blocked nose since last nite. partially blocked cos its only blocked at night when i'm watching tv. plus for first time in dont know how long, i've given up watching smallville. couldnt catch up with the plot tonight. shall go read an episode guide or something. think it should be just me la but i thought their accents sound really funny tonight. oh well.

but i remember something lex luther said though - u know a person best by the last conversation you had with him. he said it to lana. and i think its true to an extent. it may sound cheesy to agree with a tv character but yeah, sometimes u can know a person by the last conservaation u had with the person. disagree with the "know a person best" part though. how can a conversation let u totally understand a person?
am i rambling?

anw today kwangyew came to tampines. my colleague. not the sm. he's quite funny. same batch as mr phang. we talked about... euro 2004! heehee.. so nice to have someone talk to me about soccer at work!

gonna watch holland vs germany later at 2.35am..
i got tmr off! cos of svap. can wake up later! yay.. still deciding if i should go to vj to collect my cert..

ritez gonna watch episode 20 of the oc now.. cant resist it even though i'm (falling) sick and feeling tired.. its benjamin mckenzie la =p


------ Monday, June 14, 2004

i bought "tuesdays with morrie" by mitch albom today.. the book that bain has so many praises for.it was at a 20% discount so it looked like a pity if i didnt buy such a good book!
knocked off at 7.30pm today. was listening to usher's "confessions" album on the bus. and i felt the urge to just sing and dance along. usher has that power man.. its a rather good album. very r&b.

and oh yeah, in addition to my "8 reasons to stay off clubbing" (thurs 10 june), i have come up with a 9th reason!

9. June is Euro 2004 month!

heh.. after all the 2.30am matches.. no more energy to club le! woke up to watch england vs france this morn. good match. super drama. when zidane scored the penalty, my dad, my bro and me were like "oh man.. drama!" hahaa.
next few matches to look out for:
1. Denmark vs Italy, mon 14june 11.50pm, ch 21 (not watching - too tired)
2. Sweden vs Bulgaria, tues 15june 2.35am, ch 21 (not watching)
3. Germany vs Holland, wed 16june 2.35am, ch 21 (MUST watch!)
4. Greece vs Spain, wed 16june 11.50pm, ch 21 (may not watch)
5. Russia vs Portugal, thurs 17 june 2.35am, ch 21 (unlikely that i'll watch)
6. England vs Switzerland, thurs 17june, 11.50pm, ch21 (will watch)
cant wait~


------ Sunday, June 13, 2004

got my samsung sgh-x430.. at $88. hahaa. its really quite nice. dont really know the full functions yet thou. kinda weird to use it cos its rather different from my s500. well no longer mine. sighzzzz. lost all my contacts and my smses..

so if u're reading this... please please send me an sms at my old number with your name so that i can have your contacts again! thx.. i'd really appreciate it. to celia: dont know if the rest know my blog so could u send me their numbers also? thx!

some nights ago as i lay on my bed trying to sleep, some thoughts entered my mind suddenly. cr has actually helped me to grow - helped me be more sure of what i want in certain situations. or maybe, its what i dont want. never thought that incident actually has its plus points. lol (sacarstically). hmmm. well one thing can at least be sure. no way is anything similar to the cr incident going to happen again. think i can safely say that its all behind me now. what happened stays locked and forgotten. now to the future!

anw, been receiving lots of messages from people i dont know on friendster recently. as many as 2 or 3 people in a day. all asking to "be friends on friendster". hah is there such a thing as "we are friendster friends"? and my perception of friendster is that it lets u keep in touch. i didnt think i can make "friendster friends". kinda like irc friends ya? well i for one, dont really believe in chatting with complete strangers online. i feel weird. if i at least know the person exist, like say, someone from school but i've never talked to him/her before, i wouldnt mind chatting. but total strangers.... are they really that desperate for friends?
oh i dont mean to offend anyone k.

current earwaxes:
"You and Me (Tonight)" ~ Alistair Griffin (left ear)
"Every Little Thing" ~ Dishwalla (right ear)

oh well.


------

had our first SVAP prog with the participants today. am quite lethargic actually but its okayy i guess. compared to others (read: gavin). prog went smoothly much to everyone's relief. there were these 3 guys who were quite attitude de. shant elaborate (ok im just lazy to say). the facilitators were really great, helping to smoothen the rough edges in today's prog. the project presentation were kinda long thou. everything ended at abt 6pm, we were off at ard 7+..

was intending to go home to sleep after the prog cos nicholas got extra duty and we postponed dinner till 2 weeks later. but kel didnt wanna go for her class dinner so we thought of going to catch shrek2 instead. no luck. cine's timings are at 2+ and 4+ am.. ps dont even show it. thought of going to suntec to watch it but it was already too late. so we went to swenson's to eat instead.. sinful!! had the 49ers sandwich. which was really good btw.. thx kel for introducing that! she herself had fish and chips. then (despite the calories)........... we had a celebrity brownie!! who can resist brownies? we were rather full after our main course but we just had to order the dessert! something leonette said is so true! "girls have 2 stomachs - 1 for food, 1 for desserts". hahaa.

went home after that.. too tired. may be meeting tmr to watch shrek2 thou. anw, tmr i'll be going to get my new phone. i have decided on the samsung x430. think got some promotional price cos my dad just upgraded his plan so it cost $138 i think. yay. pity there's no such promo price for the samsung e700a!

just heard this song on my playlist.. nice.

"You And Me (Tonight)" ~ Alistair Griffin
Have you ever loved someone,
But you waited just too long,
To tell them what you're feeling.
Maybe I was just too proud,
To say I love you right out loud,
Lost for words I must believe in.
On this night, it holds us both within,
Set me free, oh let me live again.

It's you and me tonight,
With these feelings we can fight,
Just two people lost but made it found together,
And if we make it through,
Then tomorrow find the truth,
You know I would fall,
I would risk it all,
Just for you.

Gotta find a way somehow,
Cause all we have is here and now,
It can wait until tomorrow.
But if the morning comes too soon,
We'll run away and chase the moon,
Like a dream that you must follow.

If you go, I won't be in your way,
In my eyes, is all I have to say.

It's you and me tonight,
With these feelings we can fight,
Just two people lost but made it found together,
And if we make it through,
Then tomorrow find the truth,
You know I would fall,
I would risk it all,
Just for you.

I never realized that I waited just too long,
And now I recognize it was you all along.

It's you and me tonight,
With these feelings we can fight,
Just two people lost but made it found together,
And if we make it through,
Then tomorrow find the truth,
You know I would fall,
I would risk it all,
Just for you.



------ Friday, June 11, 2004

bloody hell i lost my handphone! damn it.
lost it either in the office or on the street outside my office. got sc, dad n bain to help me call my phone. the person who picked up my phone actually answered my call but refused to talk! DAMN. my dad had the same experience too. and guess what? the fucker actually called my dad back but refused to talk can! bloody hell. he thinks its freaking entertaining is it? damn!

so everyone, my line is temporarily suspended. will try to get a phone asap. just pray and hope that smu wont call me abt scholarships these few days. its likely leh. damn.

im super pissed. just bought usher's "confessions" to cheer myself up. but its not working. i love my phone to bits. damnit. i miss her!!


------ Thursday, June 10, 2004

today's what i call the classic sickening ass day. morn - had to struggle through work when i wasnt even sure what is happening around me. aftnn - got a bit (just a bit) better but i got more tired too. evening - had to do ot. wth. with my state today.. sigh. after work - reached tpines interchange just to see my bus leave the lot. walked to mrt station in time to see the train just leave and the screen happily flashing that i have to wait for another 9 mins. and the station was playing this adv with super irritating music. wait all the stops play that. whenever the doors open at each station, the irritating music can be heard. it really got on my nerves. grrr.

the only good thing happened in the morn when i checked my mail from last night: i passed my btt. like yay. gonna take driving lessons soon hopefully.

anw, here's my week so far:

mon -
met bain, yv, gavin n alvin to go down to ngee ann poly to at least know np's surroundings and where the lts are. cant really remember what went on la. oh ya it was gavin's bday. had dinner at mac at clementi (thx, gavin). gossiped, maybe not gossiped. talked. had some laughs then we went home. managed to catch f.r.i.e.n.d.s! love the show. phoebe's so bimbotically cute. hahaa.

tues -
met celia and yy to watch harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban! ooh miss those 2 lots. havent seen them in a looooong while. since last yr's chalet aye? woah its been long. anw made to town just in time. potter was funny. the laugh factor is better than i expected but the storyline is a little disappointing! doesnt really follow the book. lots of stuff that lupin and sirius black said in the movie are actually said by dumbledore in the book. and dumbledore! not who i expected. this dumbledore sounded too kiddish. dumbledore should sound wiser and more powerful. hmm. and i expected lupin and black to be better looking than that! hahaa. lots and lots of shortcuts in the movie but its expected ba. and oh potter's patronus. certainly not what i imagined it to be. and quidditch!!! where's my quidditch? i was so prepared to go for an oliver wood fest cos gryffindor is supposed to win the quidditch cup. but... where's my oliver wood? =( hahaa
i'm so sorry if u havent watched it. hope i didnt ruin the show for u. *apologetic smile*

wed -
met bain, hy, sh and ry to go zouk cos its gonna be sh's bday. went a bit too early. right at the start of 1 for 1, we (me, bain, sh, ry) downed 2 shots each. hy had orange juice. then we went to dance. saw winston and mervyn. music at phuture as usual. didnt even feel high and not really in the right state to dance. sh went to drink 2 glasses of long island. me, bain n ry shared 2 glasses. needless to day, sh was damn seh. i was just ok, was sober by abt 1.30am. oh yeah sang bday song for sh ard midnite. saw quite a lot of ex-vj ppl. phuture was freaking crowded la. and the crowd wasnt very nice. too much pushing, no space to dance. left at 3+am, went to shell to drink (non-alcoholic). had green tea which always works. ry's fren (didnt catch his name) drove us home. and found out that the other guy, youyi, is going to smu accounts too. same batch as me. what a small world. oh they were from vj too. ahah.
didnt think i'll hear myself say this but yeah, i'm getting a little tired of clubbing le. esp when i have to work on thurs. its like, the songs i heard yesterday are more or less the same as the songs i heard last week. a bit sian u know. yeap, wont be clubbing until the m18 party le. so dont ask me k.

was so sian at work today that i came up with this list to remind myself to stay off clubbing for some time.

8 reasons to stop clubbing -
1. its so damn unhealthy to drink and inhale smoke
2. have to spend money on drinks and cab fare
3. clubbing 'uglifies' u. potential pimple outbreak with the make up and sweat. eew.
4. get bruises and scratches. what with all the steppings on each other's foot and unintentional knocking into each other. and not to mention scratches.
5. hair and clothes stink of smoke. hair tend to 'stick' together in clumps too.
6. alcohol intake makes u fat.
7. hangover thursdays
8. u'll gradually lose faith in guys. that's what i think may eventually happen la.

oh yeah, realised just how expensive a pitcher of long island is.


------

ARGH i'm feeling so fucked up now! its been a horrendous morning. finally know what the hell are "secured applications". screw it. wasted my whole freaking morn! damn. i'm gonna get killed by sc later. this sux!!

can see that i'm super pissed right? in office now, waiting for others to come back from lunch den i can continue doing whatever shit stuff that i have to do. and it doesnt help that last nite at zouk/phuture wasnt good. didnt really enjoy myself. it was freaking crowded man. thank goodness got bain, hongyi, shihui and ruoyun.

ritez gotta go. blog more at nite.


------ Sunday, June 06, 2004

i almost did something yesterday that will do me a lot of good. help me forget. but i didnt. u know what? i think i'm a sucker for self torture. but it was a step which held so much meaning i lost the guts to do it. maybe not guts. lost the.... will to do it. well f it. maybe i will do it someday. someday.

actually i had a bugging dream on wed nite that i still remember. bugging as in, its stuck in my mind for some reason. there were a lot of people in the dream. the surroundings were dim. most of the people were guys. quite some people were staring at me. there was one particular person near me. i kept pushing him away cos he was obstructing my path and what i wanted. and i wanted that something badly. then the dream faded away. and it came back for about 3 or 4 times. the exact same dream. all within 3 or 4 hours. *wonders*

anw i've finally read my package from smu. matriculation on either 29/6, 30/6 or 1/7. that means i gotta do my hair soon instead of waiting till end july. should i colour or just do streaks? and what colour should i use? i wouldnt mind colouring everything but will it seem lian? cos yeah, we going for the shu1 nü3 look heehee. *winks at the 3 gals*

to my darling partner: can u confirm with me about potter on tues nite asap. can vanes make it not? cos i think 8.30pm is a hot timing, have to book de. unless u wanna watch 9+ show. den we can makan! just lemme know la k. *hugz*


------ Saturday, June 05, 2004

went to t'pines to report for work today. busy. and the thing is, shy ching all but barred me from going out in the evenings cos we will be super busy for the next month. NOOOOOO.. i want my social life okayy. see, now plans are all on hold. mon - reserved for the blues. tues - harry potter with cl and v. wed - club; maybe only. thurs - recuperate. fri - shrek 2. sat - svap and dinner. argh. i'm only a temp. why work so hard? not fair. *bLeAh*

went to meet bain, hy and kel after work. supposed to have ry also but she had to work. initial plan was to watch shrek2 but there wasnt any timings at lido at all. then cine's timings only starts at midnite. what luck. so we went to crystal jade la mian at scotts to eat instead. then we sat outside mariott hotel and talked. saw shihui. talked for some time then she suggested going clubbing next wed. which is a good idea cos the 2nd batch of guys in bmt pop liao. ahah but i hafta get past parents first. and work. sux la.

edwin poh! stop watching the oc! go watch tv. i need to catch up! and dont tell me what happens in episode 21 when i'm at episode 10! grrr..

anyway. tmr's plans are so unconfirmed. sian half. maybe i shld hole myself at home and catch up on my oc instead. waait that sounds so no life. hahaa. shall see la.


------ Thursday, June 03, 2004

i just wanted to dance

had truly wanted to go down to club rav to support shihui at her finals. but in short, everyone pang seh-ed everyone else n left me and bain so we decided to go zouk instead. shihui came in 4th. anw, bain n i went down to chinablack to top up on drinks. but had only 1 vodka lime and 1 vodka sprite then we felt bloated liao. oh one of the bartenders was super cute! reminds me of a much much much better version of a current yr 2 vj guy. cute. hahaa.

met up with karen, joanna and rachel at the washroom at zouk. they look great! bain said jo looked cute. then they told me abt ruggers part 2. uncanny. and funny! hahaa.

went to phuture to dance cos we saw darryl. who was super duper cute last nite! hahaa. yeah the darryl who used to be frm vj soccer. anw we (me and bain, not darryl hor) went to met kian. and in short, thanks to him, i had a bit of gin and tonic, bourbon coke and i think nearly 2/5 of a pitcher of long island. wah after that i was damn high. i could feel myself getting high la. just danced and danced. and danced and danced like no one's business. den bain went to dance with other ppl, leaving kian and i. which was quite funny in a way.

oh then this gal came up to me and acty told me that i dance really well. wooo.. hahaa i'm flattered la. cos when a gal u totally dont know tells u that u dance well, chances are she mean it. cos guys always sweet talk. and the thing abt guys who club - they never fail to try their luck. all of them. no exceptions at all. so in a way, i'm grateful that kian is there la. hmmz. oh i lvoe phuture's music. it always gets better after 2... cos they spin usher!! yumz!

left at 2.30 as usual. kian had to really pull and guide me out cos it was damn crowded and i really couldnt walk str. who can after that pitcher of long island. went to find bain. and bain told me when i talked, i wasnt making sense. hah i would love to hear myself speak. last nite was the most seh i have been. and i didnt even down shots.

as expected, went to work with a whole-body ache.. headache, eyes pain, shoulder ache, stomachache, legs ache.. bascially muscle ache. and i feel like puking the whole day, esp when i went to the toilet and see the toilet bowl. dont know why also. psychological prob? hah. spent the whole day zapping rejected apps, sorting and filing. the vending machine coffee sux. i miss the coffee at genesis. (haha)

i just wanted to dance. no guys, no strings attached, no emotions. (really?) i wanted so much to forget some stuff. that was all i could do, to dance. dance up a storm. it felt so good to just let go and dance. i could go on all night. that was all i wanted - to dance. and i still do.

am torturing myself now by listening to my collection of r&b songs.

things i should be grateful for today:
1. i didnt puke and make a potential scene at work today
2. i found the ring i accidentally left in the toilet (long story)
3. that kian was there to take care of me at phuture. thou i didnt show it.
i'm esp grateful for no3. don wanna drop into the same gaping hole.


------ Tuesday, June 01, 2004

saw something posted on someone's blog.. n it stirred something in me. i thought i could guess what love was but i think i was wrong. seeing what she had written about love, life and the love that once was in her life, i begin to think that what i know is so... insignificant. i've lead such a sheltered life.

anw, saw a post on hy's blog abt living life with no regrets. bcos of ky's bro's incident, we talked a bit about life and death. then hy asked if we are to die today, would we have any regrets? she herself said no, while both bain n i said yes. to her, "regrets" meaning to have done something but wishing u could do it again differently. to bain n me, "regrets" mean being unable to do something we wanted to do, like for bain, stuff to do with her family and friends... for me personally, in terms of the hy kind of regrets, i have some. the oi incident and the cr incident for starters. in the sense that sometimes i wished i had reacted differently. but all the same, bcos i reacted the way i did then, something good did come out of it la. my life took on a somewhat different direction (for oi) and i learnt smthg abt jerks (for cr). hahaaa.

as for the bain version of regrets, i have quite some man.. i havent done so many things in my life. i never did get down to telling my family i love them a lot and i cant live without them. i never really told my friends i love them a lot too. so if u're reading, pls pls just know i love u all. frm the bottom of my heart, i do. there are just so many of u.. and i havent fell in love. i havent visited italy. havent got a dog. never watched coldplay in concert live, nv watched a man utd match in manchester. nv done so many things. haiz.

shall stop thinking abt all these. i look back at my life and i wished some things have never happened. but they have and i have coped with them. so there's no reason why it should affect me so. they have helped me grow, however irritating they may seem. the bouts of loneliness, of staring into space, of staring at my hp... then the times when i was so happy.. during ot (odac one, not overtime), cambodia, orientation, hk trip, hanging out with friends.. i look back at them and smile.. well i cant always have the best of both worlds, can i? *sMiLes*

well at least funnily, i am beginning to enjoy spending some weekends at home by myself. its a good time to rest and have some alone time. and maybe catch up on my episodes of 'all in' and 'the oc' so someone cant "boast" abt it... hah i'm rambling.


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fruitful day!

firstly... CELIA LIM!! hahaaa ur name big enough no? heya babe! know why i call u babe? cos i couldnt, couldnt bear to call my partner of 3+ yrs an ugly duckling! *kIdDiNg* i miss u all so much! its true.. the other time i was telling bain, i miss u all, esp u! i miss u, wt, v, qq, yy, our seniors, our juniors, anthony chan, kelly wee, tay yong hwee, the courts, the rackets, the shuttles, the jogs to the cemetery, circuit training, the feeling of smashing... i miss our time together. anw back to reality, v has changed hp no liao u know? i ran into her in town before, she says okayy to any outings we may have. i contact v and wt, u contact yy n qq? just ask when they r free, and wat else they might wanna do then i'll call u again or sth okayy?

anw, went to apply for my uob mini debit today! finally.. got the unicard too which i tot wasnt as bad as it seemed. bad = not nice looking. heehee. went shopping with mummy today. bought lots of stuff.. bought 2 tops at jl, some pierre cardin necessities, a conditioner, a speg frm future state, a pair of slacks and a red jacket from u2! spent so much money today. *bLeAh* but it was money well spent i think. *double BLEAH*

lastly, to the s64 babes: huiying has put it tentatively on 19 june.. 3rd sat if the mth. venue and time not confirm.. suggestions greatly welcome!! oh yeah.. mini debit has priority queueing at zouk on sat! just a suggestion... well let either me or hy know abt any suggestions u all have k. thxxxx!!



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