Thursday, August 31, 2006

-and trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in -

finally went to the gym today after quite a long hiatus. shiok. but yes my fitness level has dropped. 35mins on the treadmill and i'm a gone case. completely spent.

itp day 1 today. nothing much to say on except that... never mind.

an update on the island: rumble heard and spotted. the village chief couldn't help but stare to keep glancing in that direction; such is the attraction of the latest distraction. the chief was immediately drawn to the presence of the disruption. the waves havent been disturbed in some time after all. when the disruption even headed close to the shore enough for the chief to actually look it in the eye, u know what the stupid, stupid, chief did? the chief KEPT QUIET. that's right, the chief said nothing. and the silence got a bit too overwhelming; it eventually headed back to sea.

WHY OH WHY DID U SAY NOTHING??


------ Monday, August 28, 2006

-necessity breeds familiarity-

week 2, folks. school has officially started. wake up!
BP meeting tmr nite 7pm, and AMA meeting on wed 12pm. reality SCREAMS, u idiot.


had a long and (relatively) leisurely lunch with jeremy, hui ying, leonard, ln, kristin and ray today after ama class. though conversation was littered with the description of the by-products of jeremy's gastric flu, i enjoyed ray and ln's exchange about FA, the bachelorette dream and especially when the table was left with hy, jem, ray and me. gosh the conversation got positively hilarious sometimes, with talk about gardeners, swimming pool cleaners and my yacht. and then we tried to pair ppl off in BE wahahhaaa by running through the list of people we know. pretty funny actually. long lunches rock.


today in the studio, jasmine told me that in philosophy (or is it psychology), the continuation to my phrase 'necessity breeds familiarity' is 'familiarity breeds attraction'. somehow i find it a bit odd. attraction is a nice thing, and breeds usually has a negative connoctation to it. but yeah, guess i'm thinking too much haha.


I'm on my knees
Only memories are left for me to hold
Don't know how but I'll get by
Slowly pull myself together

There's no escape so keep me safe
This feels so unreal

Nothing comes easily
Fill this empty space
Nothing is like it seems
Turn my grief to grace

I feel the cold
Loneliness unfold like from another world
Come what may I won't fade away
But I know I might change

Nothing comes easily
Fill this empty space
Nothing is like it was
Turn my grief to grace

Nothing comes easily
Where do I begin?
Nothing can bring me peace
I've lost everything
I just want to feel your embrace

'Grace' ~ Kate Havnevik

necessity breeds familiarity
and familiarity breeds attraction


------ Sunday, August 27, 2006

-blog when she's free-

week 1 was madness, yes. so much so that sometimes i feel that being in class is a waste of time when i could have been doing something else with my time.

i don't like my mpw class. jeremy and leonard better get the class else i'll seriously consider dropping it. i just don't like u, i'm sorry. i'm just not a easy person to get along with, and u ain't helping the cause too. so yes, should i stay?

anyways, vivace was pretty ok i guess. i'm so not an up-front recruitment person.. just let me stay behind the scenes, that will suit me very nicely thank you. ok at least i got to know 1 new person - kok leong. goes towards the 'help jiahui know more people around school' campaign!

phew man utd beat watford 2-1 last night. awesome.


actually i don't really blog only when i'm free. i blog as and when i like it. sometimes even when i'm free, i can't be bothered to blog. sometimes even though so many things have happened, i don't feel like writing about it.
and sometimes, i do. do you?


------ Tuesday, August 22, 2006

-back to school volume 3-

yesterday was the first day of sch and i was in school for 15 hours. we left school at 11+pm, just as if we are still on hols man. oh spot the irony? actually, i have never known a busier week 1, thanks to relaunch and vivace.

every start of term, i tell myself this term i must chiong. must start working latest from week 3 onwards. every term, i fail. seems like this term also like that.

today had dinner with mel, shumei, jaclyn, gayle and adriana. love meeting them, it's always so funny.

ok la tmr no class but no prizes for guessing where i'll be.


------ Sunday, August 20, 2006

-You are my Solskjaer, my Ole Solskjaer-

Man Utd just made a fantastic start to the new season. A 5-1 beating of Fulham at Old Trafford. Rocks! The Saha-Rooney partnership is starting to stabilise after last season's ending few matches where they played together for a while.

Aside for the 5 utd goals, the other highlight for me was the appearance of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer as a substitute. For me, Solskjaer was immortalised after that goal against Bayern Munich in the '99 Champs League final. I'm just glad he's back after 3 seasons of injury.

You are my Solskjaer, my Ole Solskjaer
You make me happy, when skies are grey
Oh Alan Shearer, was fcuking dearer
Please don't take my Solskjaer away

Any decent Man Utd fan will know the meaning of this song anytime.


------

-man of science, man of faith-

This was the title of a season 2 episode 1 of 'Lost', of which the flashback was of Jack as he works on a patient brought to his emergency room after a terrible car crash. While Jack takes a late-night run, trying to accept that even his skills have their limits, he meets a man as driven as he is. Turns out "Desmond" was going to be a doctor, too, but gave it up for something else - everything else. Desmond realized there was more to life than what you could learn in medical school - and he tells Jack that sometimes miracles can happen if you just believe. Jack thinks him a total crackpot, but is forced to reconsider when, against all odds, Sarah regains feeling in her legs.

(source: lost on abc.com)


are you a man of science or a man of faith?
Jack Shephard was a man of science but gradually starts to believe in some faith on the island. John Locke was a man of faith but gradually lost his faith on the island. You can't be one without being a bit of the other.

I remember in some episode of Grey's Anatomy, Dr Burke summed it up nicely - this, the feeling of powerlessness when i can't save a patient, is precisely why i need to believe in something bigger than myself. something like that.


I am a man of science. i stopped believing in a lot of things. i stopped believing that there can be people with no vested interests and personal agendas, i stopped believing in patience and waiting, i stopped believing that anyone can possibly like me long enough to want to genuinely know me.

but these days, i am thinking. why did i push faith away? it's time faith come back. slowly, but surely, please, come back.


------ Saturday, August 19, 2006

-how could i do anything but smile?-

I know you've given all that you could give to me
I know there'll come a day I'll understand
until then I'll be trying to solve your mystery
And wonder why I couldn't make you stay

Smiling through denial, my specialty
I thought that was a good thing for a while
You gave me all your secrets, were you testing me?
How could I do anything but smile?

Re-enact your legendary tragedy
Do to me what has been done to you
Is that the only point to all these misery?
Is there any reason I should cry?

'Legendary' ~ Lou Barlow


i told myself i would do very well. i said i have to prove that i'm better off after that. i wanted to. but a couple of years on, i can't help but look back and wonder what i have done. why can't things work out the way i, we, wanted them to? couple of years on and what have i to show? nothing but short-lived interests and unnecessary episodes. i wonder, if i can stop and time could reverse, would i have done things differently? but i don't think so actually. it was a nice period of time but it also left a bitter aftertaste. i tried, and now i've stopped trying. should i try again? but at what expense?


maybe my problem is that i seem to miss the opportunities thrown at my feet, in front of me. maybe they were right - i hesitate a moment too long. darn. tell me what to do.


------ Thursday, August 17, 2006

-photos!-

photos from my bangkok trip yipeeee! =p



outside siam paragon.. they have an airplane on show la!


wooooot.. sports car on display!


dinner at fuji japanese restaurant.. cheap (but not cheaper than in china)!


look at the truck delivering soft drinks in glass bottles.. how old sch.. i likeeee!


my orange juice drink at the seafood restaurant comes with this beautiful orchid. where's the food, u ask? in my STOMACH of cos!


this is yvonne, acting silly with me on our last night in the hotel!


and then pearlyn's turn..


my proud achievements over 6 days! =)


and i'm buried beneath everything!


yvonne's proud achievement..


pearlyn with her proud achievements..


a cosy group pic


i wasn't kidding when i said my suitcase couldn't close...


look what i found in thailand.. a full picture of jose's team woohoooo!


and this is the list of jose's players..


how come they don't have this in singapore??


becks and i make such good pals. it's a shame he's in spain currently..


see the checked baggage sign point that says a max of 22kg? the impossible happened and i exceeded that limit! but didnt have to pay for excess baggage haha.


at the airport before checking in our luggage. and guess what, i bought this very nice orange netherlands tshirt at only 50 baht (S$2+). damn nice, and in preparation for euro 08 HAHA!


ok that's all i have. took me a loooong time to finally finish uploading them.

tmr going to sch to pass ethan some stuff then i'm meeting my mum to shop accompany her to shop in the afternoon and kelvina for dinner and shopping watch her shop!
sat - free aftnn and daryl's bday at nite
sun - meeting elizabeth then ppl from the BEginning


oh oh forgot to wish edwin good luck in KL!


actually i have some thoughts on my mind now but i think this post has gone on long enough. shall write them tmr then.. peaceout!


------ Wednesday, August 16, 2006

-beautiful dawn-

seems like there is a change in this yr's freshie timetables? the split is no longer the same i think. good luck man!

oh oh i lost some weight after coming back from bangkok! the proof: the last hole on my belt now hangs very loose on me. yay haha! somehow the food i eat dont really agree with me recently. i go to the toilet a little more often nowadays. but if this helps keeps the weight down, hey i'm not complaining haha!


and oh just now ray and edmund proclaimed their LOVE for me. look at this:

~Ray~Rev Up~: lol jiahui
~Ray~Rev Up~: wheres my t shirt
jiahui :. : ur tshirt is in my luggage
~Ray~Rev Up~: Woot, LOVE u lah jh
jiahui :. : ya ya only bcos i got u a tshirt rite
edmund : oh great!
edmund : is my tshirt in ur luggage too?
jiahui :. : ya la urs too. i got u the chang beer one
edmund : awesome
edmund : LOVE YOU
edmund : sweet
jiahui :. : wah wah u all NEVER say u love me b4
jiahui :. : so shi ji leh
~Ray~Rev Up~: haha, theres always a first
~Ray~Rev Up~: wah lao i really love u leh
~Ray~Rev Up~: u say we shi ji
~Ray~Rev Up~: kaoz
jiahui :. : hahhaa AWWWWW really ah
jiahui :. : i LOVE u all too la

it's about time, dudes. 2 years in and u only confess now. tsktsk.


today i watched 'the exorcist', part of exorcist 2 and 3, as well as stigmata. quite boring actually. they are not scary, just gross i think.

i wanna watch 'click'. wanted to watch in bkk but they didnt have it. by the time i came back, everyone seems to have watched it. anyone???


------ Tuesday, August 15, 2006

-can music save your mortal soul-

went to watch 'the lake house' with yvonne just now.. i went to watch it expecting a romantic "i'll love you across time against all odds" super touching tear jerker. but... i find the storyline very lacking. especially in the last part when keanu reeves's bro said that keanu reeves died in a car accident. yet still, keanu reeves and sandra bullock managed to meet in the end. like huh? nonetheless, keanu reeves makes very good eye candy oh yes he does. i so dig men with an older look haha!

while having dinner, we had a great talk. and haiz as both our 21st birthdays draw nearer, the not-so-distant future looks non too promising. oh well we have what, 2 months to try and achieve our goal haha! but on the bright side, we wont be wasting our 'lines' on unsuitable men HAHA!

movie marathon tmr at my house yipee =p



Did you write the book of love,
And do you believe in God above,
If the Bible tells you so?
Now do you believe in rock and roll,
Can music save your mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?


------ Monday, August 14, 2006

-back where i was-

in times where there's only me and my music, i envision my mind being a lake. a beautiful lake with a nice green field and clear waters. there isn't much in the vicinity - no birds, no children, no dogs, just the occasional flowers and a swing. the kind u find in a playground. the swing is where i go to when i have something to think about. in my mind, the lake meanders. it has so many meanders. that is why i need the swing.


today as i sat in my swing watching the meandering river flow by calmly thinking about the first issue, i know what i have to do.

today as i sat in my swing watching the calm waters thinking about the second, i was once again unsure. well, not entirely unsure. i think i know what to do.


It was wintertime, my friend dropped me a line
Said he'd pay a visit
We were gladly met
He ran off to forget, I ran off to remember
But when it hit me, I could not sleep
I decided I should hideaway
So I did I, I did what I could
I did what I did, because it was easy
And I was surprised before I knew it
I was back where I was


------ Sunday, August 13, 2006

-wait a minute can't you see-

i had the whole day to myself today and as with days to myself, my mind ran its own course and i began pondering about some stuff.

last nite when i was chatting with teck wee, he asked what's the point in keeping a blog when i cant rant freely in it. of which my response was 'i do not know who's reading my blog'. which is really the truth. there have been people who were upset because of what i wrote before. on a less serious note, the people i least expect to read my blog actually do read it. i mean, i'm honoured u would take some time to read my mostly boring and none-too-entertaining rantings but the last thing i want to do is to make someone else upset again. hence the cryptic language.

i, for one, am never one who wouldn't mind people knowing how i think deep down. i mind. to me, a personal space is a personal space and if u should intrude on my personal space, my defence mechanism kicks into place and i'll just clam up again.

which is a good and not-so-good thing actually. not-so-good being i tend to keep a lot of things to myself and sometimes it takes so much probbing to reach me that most people give up after a while. or maybe i keep them so much, i always look unfazed on the surface. i am capable of putting the perenial smile on my face while my emotions simmer near the surface.

good being because i acutally respect others' personal space, i'm a damn good secret keeper. sure i bitch about people and swap gossips with friends but if someone told me "i can tell u but pls keep this a secret", u can be sure i won't accidentally tell it to someone else. that's me.


hur hur ok enuff of all that deepness.


i just completed 'london bridges' by james patterson. it wasnt a particularly good book in that i can spot quite some discontinuity in the plot. my next target is norwegian wood heh heh. and ray, i want to borrow ur books too leh. kafka on the shore as well as never let me go.


it's a time of merriment and sadness, my friends. sadness cos it's the last week of the summer hols but happiness cos... EPL's starting again! another dramatic season of 'go man utd' and 'go to hell chelshit, arse-nil and liverfools'.
(come on u chelsea, arsenal and pool fans, u'd say the same thing abt man utd without so much as batting an eyelid too)


------

-fireworks!-

reality bites. today's event didn't go the way we envisioned it to be but i'm too lazy to say anything. oh well nature of the job i guess.

reality bites yes, but life ain't that bad actually. today i got to see fireworks! (i know, i know, i've been living in my well and have not actually watched the numerous firework displays scattered throughout the year.) but i'm glad i got to watch them today. for 15 minutes, my mind was blissfully empty and was simply ooo-ing and aah-ing at everything. so here's thanks to you who tahan-ed me and the crowd and watched it with me.

anws jem flew to bkk tonight hahaa. have fun mr president. the arrows will come flying fast and furious when u get back! *snigger

tmr's sunday yay! then we'll go into week 0 and *gasps* horror of horrors, school is starting. eh twin, u excited abt school not???


放肆的尽情挥霍 那一年玩得多疯
你和我站上全世界的最快乐的巅峰
等着雨停的午后 你希望此刻永久
而现在永久就是永久的牢笼 让我一直在等候

等待后面是等待 更寂寞的等待
然后咬紧了牙关 等待更多的等待

如果你 爱过我 你不会就这样走
就这样 丢下我 和那些天真承诺
如果我 再也不 不能在更多的承受
痛哭之后 却又咬紧牙关

你最爱哪个歌手 最爱吃什么火锅
最爱把小小的脸紧紧地靠在我胸口
这城市每个角落 回忆都霸占街头
我知道你会想起雨停的时候 我知道你会回头
等待后面是等待 更寂寞的等待
然后咬紧了牙关 等待更多的等待

如果你 爱过我 你不会就这样走
就这样 留下我 和那些天真承诺
如果我 再也不 不能在更多的承受
痛哭之后 只有咬紧牙关 继续漂流

《牙关》~ 五月天


been some time since i posted a chinese song. i just got reminded of this song today.


------ Thursday, August 10, 2006

-why make it strong to break it once again?-

i came back from bangkok on tues nite, penniless and exhausted. it's been a fun 6 days doing nothing but shopping and eating in bangkok. we covered so many shopping places, it's kinda scary to think back about it. pratunam, suan lum, the 3 siam buildings, bahlumpung, patpong, chatuchak, chinatown, saparnputh, mbk, isetan and big c.. had wanted to go to bo-be but we ran out of money and time actually.

i shopped so much, i was left with 1 baht on the plane back to singapore. no more shopping back in singapore!


SIGH in bangkok, though i thought about things back in singapore everyday, it feels good to be away, where the most pressing thought is whether i should buy that 1 more bag and that 1 more top, and what to eat for lunch and dinner. on the plane when the pilot gave the announcement that we are touching down in singapore soon, i felt reality come crashing back on me. there was a split second where i really couldn't breathe. so much for a happy homecoming.


ahhh it's back to deadlines and rushes and 'can u get this done for me please?'. back from the land of smiles to the land of frowns indeed.


------ Tuesday, August 01, 2006

-your hand is all i have to keep me hanging on-

finally got down to writing that long email to handover some stuffs and shoot some arrows to others while i'm frolicking sweating it out in bangkok. took me a long time!

ok acty nothing much for me to say. just that i was listening to michelle branch and that line above got to me and i just wanted to make an entry with that as a heading. so there.


I wanted to be like you, I wanted everything
So I tried to be like you, and I got swept away
I didn't know that you were so cold and you needed someone to show you the way
So I took your hand and we figured out that
When the time comes I'll take you away

If you want to, I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside, so busy out there
And all you wanted was somebody who cares

I'm sinking slowly, so hurry hold me
Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on
Please can you tell me, so I can finally see
Where you go when you're gone

If you want to, I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside, so busy out there
And all you wanted was somebody who cares

'All you wanted' ~ Michelle Branch


2 days to bangkok!!


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