Sunday, April 29, 2007

more random ramblings from my random life.

my manager is away on conference and vacation in london and he'll only be back on 7 may so i have another week of having nothing much to do. on friday i was helping a colleague link up an excel spreadsheet to calculate and rank our top 10 fund houses performances. she commented that i learn and work very quickly. uhm well how hard is it to link different sheets using sumif and vlookup?? meanwhile, i've been using the tons of free time to familiarise myself with the ops manual and the various reports, and also, reading nearly all the business and investing news on Reuters, Bloomberg and Financial Times. i particularly enjoyed reading the opinions section on bloomberg. good stuff.

so far in april, dollar hits record low against euro, bank of japan maintains interest rate at 0.25% despite falling consumer index, us subprime market continues to deteriorate but short term consumer spending remains upbeat, the dow jones industrial index hits 13,000 points and there's optimism that it will maintain this strong growth, global equities show strong growth due to strong fundamentals, which results in bond prices correspondingly falling and oh, everyone is piling accolades on the new nintendo. interesting stuff.

anw, some photos up.


the chandelier at the clinic, taken from 2nd level. it's pretty nice actually, my lousy phone camera doesn't do it justice.



my office actually has a good view of the singapore waters, and my seat happens to face the sea, albeit some distance away. days of rain later, there was a quite stunning photo of the sun above the sealine. my phone camera can't capture the magnificence of it though. i'll try taking a photo of all the ships next.


my workplace is at sgx center 2, which is next to afro asia building, which has 1 of my fave places... a bookstore! mph bookstore to be exact. though not borders, i'm happy nonetheless. when i have extra time to spare after lunch, i'll pop by mph. i happened to chance upon the economics section once, and this is what i saw:

haha reminds me of IE!
browsing thru the economics section, i came across this book that looked really interesting - Confessions of an Economic Hitman. I felt like buying it.. but I think maybe I should wait for more borders vouchers to come before buying it heh.


and lastly, i finally realised why rachel (the person i took over) put a miror on her desk. it's not for vanity purposes at all.

a clear view of the corridor behind me. which incidentally, is where the CEO and CFO's offices are. sneaky ppl tsk tsk.


first french class tmr!


------ Sunday, April 22, 2007

just some random musings yet again.

starting internship tmr. yes i've got my internship. it's at aviva. and no don't worry, i'm not selling insurance. the post i got was for financial analyst. a bit apprehensive but oh well, we'll see how things go tmr. i'm most probably the only intern there so pls pls feel free to ask me out for lunch else i'll be very lonely =( i'm at sgx center 2 btw. come have lunch with me!


man utd drew with boro last nite argh. not exactly the performance u'd want going into a champs league clash with ac milan on wed. and ferdinand is gonna be out for 2 weeks darn! we won't have any defenders left at this rate. who's left now? brown, o'shea, heinze and possibly evra. decent enough i suppose, but def not stable enuff. the bright side though, chelsea drew with newcastle! haha!


went to register for french class with hui ying at alliance francaise. the receipt read:
Received from Miss Lim Jiahui the sum of S$324.00, member fees S$24.00, amount of GST S$17.40, total fees S$365.40 including enrolment in class 2007C-PMWE1VB Mon/Wed 7.00pm-9.00pm. Session from 30-04-07 to 20-06-07.
i'm now $365.40 poorer.


my laptop was finally sent for repairs. i'm using my home desktop now and i can't download my dramas. life is boring. and the keys on this keyboard is so unfriendly.


i think i really do have psycho-motor problems. like my limbs and my eye can't co-ordinate? i have tendencies to run into table edges, bed edges, stub my toes on stools and chairs and so on. it's like i can't gauge the distances between objects properly. sometimes i think i'm such a hazard, i wonder how i passed my driving test actually. lol.


i know u are not feeling very well and in fact, kinda upset and all, but i don't really appreciate the shot in the back all that much. might be said in jest and in good nature and in the name of fun, but i don't appreciate it all the same. u might think it's probably nothing, and it is, it's probably nothing but somehow it hurts. it's not as if i wanted it, it is just the way it is. i know it's been 3 years on but do u not think i want things to change too? but oh well, since i know u were upset, i shall let it go too.


why did u call me? out of all the people? again, probably nothing but it's just a random musing. lol.


i think most people feel this way: when u are single, every person of the opposite gender is a possibility unless/until proven otherwise. hence, single people behave in a different way. they play the singles game. i think i'm numb to it though. i just want the summer to be over soon, get 3k from internship, 10k from loan, borrow 2k from parents, some basic french, and fly off to europe and disappear for 6 months. and maybe the 6 months will feel like they last forever, and i'll come back rejuvenated and different once again.


went to eat at botak jones with my family for dinner and i must say, ok only what. the portions are very big and they provide u with free salsa chips, but the waiting time is horrendously long and the food is ok only what. what's the whole hooha with it? i think the western food stall at the coffeeshop opposite my house is as good haha.


alrtes gonna call it an early night, read a book and go to sleep.
currently reading: The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls


------ Friday, April 20, 2007

-值得-

went clinic and mambo yesterday night.. clinic is quite small, pretty over-rated imo. but the cannery is quite a cool place though. zouk is the same la, but what made yesterday stand out from all of the other similar zouk nites is......

i ran into someone!! my eye candy from a class!


LOLLLLL.

actually someone from my grp saw him n pointed him out to me. and to my great amazement (and amusement), his fren recognised me from a common class we shared, and he came over to say hi. and so the eyecandy came over to talk to me also. hahahahaa. totally made the nite worth it! to think i was quite set on not going zouk last night!


went to catch the test screening of kelvin tong's "men in white".. certain parts are pretty hilarious, i totally loved the ah beng contractor. then we went to sing at kbox. it was old school days, the songs we sang mostly from the early 90s.. quite shiok.


anyway, one of the more recent song they sang was 梦飞船's 不值得.. nice!

除了想你除了爱你 我什么什么都愿意
翻开日记整理心情 我真的真的想放弃
你始终没有爱过 你在敷衍我 一次一次忽略我的感受
我真的感到力不从心 无力继续

这感情不值得我犹豫 不值得我考虑 不值得我爱过你
这种回忆不值得我提起 不值得想起 不值得哭泣
这段感情早就应该放弃 早就不该让我浪费时间找奇迹
这样的你不值得我恨你 不值得我为你坏了心情
我决定不为你而毁了心 放弃爱你


mambo was 值得 though HAHA.


------ Sunday, April 15, 2007

the summer is here.


finally done with my 3rd year. whatever the results are, i've tried my best for the most part of the term. i'm not hoping to get back on the infamous list (i've resigned myself to it already), i just hope whatever grades i get, it can help me pull my gpa up. i just wanna get a decent enuff gpa such that during y4t2, i can afford a B or 2 and still remain in magna. hahahaha. considering i'll be taking advanced financial accounting, advanced auditing and accounting theory in y4t2, it's likely to happen.

anyway. still no internship. i have 10 months holidays at the rate i'm going!
sometimes, i really do wonder. i'm really not a financial whiz kid, not a huge market watcher, i can't imagine sitting in front of 2 screens monitoring stock indices and trading strategies, do i really want a bigshot internship in a big-name bank? really dunoe man. i mean, i'd love to have the chance at a finance internship at a bank, i guess i will have to do it to know if i really want it for a career. maybe i'm just more suited to an accounting job, like oh, tax (as shane has so kindly reminded me).


whatever. the summer is here!
i've been sleeping for 15 of the 24 hours today, to make up for lost sleep over the past 3 weeks. i'm sick now (since friday, the day before strat and corp rep exam).. time to let sleep help cure my flu and sore throat and headaches.


bonjour, summer!!


------ Thursday, April 12, 2007

my laptop wouldn't start this morning cos of fan problems. it scared me cos i have an IE paper in the afternoon that requires me to type my answers in a pre-set template and email it in. it eventually started after prob abt 6 tries. it's gonna chwee soon la this laptop. maybe i should re-format it before sending it in for repairs. that way, it's harder for them to find my secret porn stash.


KIDDING!!


anyway. IE paper was quite a stunner. almost didn't have enuff time to finish it but what the heck, it's over! 2 more papers till a 10 month break from smu. oh yeah.


strat textbook has got to be 1 of the boring-est textbook i've ever had the misfortune to read.


------ Wednesday, April 11, 2007

lately, my mum has been buying a lot more variety of fruits instead of just our usual apples and oranges. we've been eating honeydews and watermelons these few days. i'm a great fan of the honeydew cos it's soooo sweet. super nice.

but watermelon.... i just don't understand why they can come up with seedless grapes and oranges but they don't have seedless watermelons. can someone tell me if there is such a thing as seedless watermelons?? i know watermelon seeds aren't harmful to us but..... i can't be the only person who find it troublesome to eat watermelons because of the seeds right????


talk about apples and oranges thou, here's a song by the smashing pumpkins:

What if the sun refused to shine, What if the clouds refused to rain
What if the wind refused to blow, What if the seas refused to wave
What if the world refused to turn, What if the stars would hesitate

What if, what is isn't true?
What are you going to do?
What if, what is isn't you?
Does that mean you've got to lose?
Digging for a feel of something new..

What if the silence let you dream, What if the air could let you breathe
What if the words would bring you here, What if the sound could bring you peace

What if, what is isn't true?
What are you going to do?
Digging for the feel of something new..
What if, what is isn't you?
What are you going to do?

It came from your thoughts, your dreams, and visions
Ripped up from your weeks, and indecision


and the title... "appels + oranjes" by the smashing pumpkins
it's a nice song btw.


------

-GLORY GLORY MAN UNITED-

because i'm so proud of man utd's performance. it was breathtaking, it was beautiful.

it was manchester united 7 - 1 roma


------ Tuesday, April 10, 2007

-spoilers ahead-

i'll only put out the essence of what izzy said so as not to spoil it for people who haven't caught up to the latest episode.


Izzy: She will come through this.
George: People die.
Izzy: I know people die. People die in front of us everyday. But I believe [censored] will survive this. I believe.. I believe in the good. I believe that it's been a hell of a year, and I believe that in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, we will all be okay. I believe in a lot of things. I believe that Denny is always with me, and I believe that if I eat a tub of butter and no one sees me, the calories don't count. And I believe that surgeons who prefer staples over stitches are just lazy, and I believe that you are a man who made a terrible mistake [censored], and I believe that because I'm your best friend, I can tell you this and we can be okay. I believe that even though you make this mistake, you will be okay. I believe we survive, George. I believe that believing we survive is what makes us survive. It will be okay.

i especially like the last 2 sentences.


and this absolutely fabulous song from snow patrol:

Please don't let this turn into something it's not
I can only give you everything I've got
I can't be as sorry as you think I should
But I still love you more than anyone else could

All that I keep thinking throughout this whole flight
Is 'it could take my whole damn life to make this right'
This splintered mast I'm holding on won't save me long
Because I know fine well that what I did was wrong

The last girl in the last reason to make this last for as long as I could
First kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything
The weight of water, the way you taught me to look past everything I had ever learned
The final word in the final sentence you ever uttered to me was love

We have got through so much worse than this before
What's so different this time that you can't ignore?
You say it is much more than just my last mistake
And we should spend some time apart for both our sakes

The last girl in the last reason to make this last for as long as I could
First kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything
The weight of water, the way you taught me to look past everything I had ever learned
The final word in the final sentence you ever uttered to me was love

And I don't know where to look
My words just break and melt
Please just save me from this darkness
Please just save me from this darkness

"Make this go on forever" ~ Snow Patrol

good stuff.


the interview was weird btw. it left me utterly unsure. damn.


------ Monday, April 09, 2007

i was watching grey's anatomy (i was uhm, destressing), and this particularly caught me. from season 3 episode 15:

Meredith: I did NOT try to drown myself in the bath tub.
Izzy: Hey, I ate everything out of the fridge last night. Everything. Including that tub of.. butter. There's no judgement here.
Meredith: You ever feel like you are disappearing?
Izzy: All the time.
Meredith: Why can't I just be that happily-ever-after person? Why can't I believe in that?
Izzy: I don't know what I believe in anymore.


me too, izzy. me too. (i didn't eat that tub of butter from the fridge though)
and i liked izzy's speech about believing too. it's not very long, but it touches a nerve. shall post the transcript during my next break.
i'm an izzy. not emotionally needy like meredith or too competitive like christina. i've got my issues, but i'm pretty damn good at internalising everything. i'm an izzy.


anw i love the soundtrack from greys. i love the mellowness of the music, the understatement, the deepness of some lyrics, love the independent labels. i can imagine drinking by a bar to these music, it's that raw and good.


------

i had something that i wanted to tell you, but i guess i just lost the impetus to. it's an intensely odd dream. for once, i wasn't all that bad, and you weren't all that good. it doesn't bother me as much as i thought it would. whatever.


on another note, i was playing hide and seek with a mosquito last night. the bugger had me for dinner and i wasn't about to let it have me for supper too. but as things go, i hate killing mosquitoes with my hands cos i hate the sight of some insect's blood smeared on my palms. so i sat there patiently with 2 pieces of paper filled with rough workings for the afii paper and waited. the bugger flew so quickly it was difficult to see where it is flying. so i was just waiting patiently and smacking air most of the times. finally got it after sometime. i clipped its wings and it dropped onto my table, and i disposed of it. no blood on my palms. come to think of it, it's my blood that's in that bugger's body anyway. can't believe it bothered me for a whole night.


come to think of it, i can't believe i just blogged about a mosquito-killing episode and u read about my so-exciting mosquito-killing episode.


i'm not quite geared up for tmr, maybe i will feel more pumped up tmr. i have got to make it. have got to.


------

-we are our own worst critics-

i think it is true, that we are our own worst critic. i've often been told that i am rather harsh on myself. like usually when i walk out of an interview, i don't feel very confident (except for admissions interviews.. my interviewers simply liked the number of As i had i think, oh well perhaps i had the "different" factor too). it's not like i say i'm not confident cos i don't want to appear yaya, or that it's the thing people do usually, but that i really don't feel very confident.

for the whole day, the interview will be at the back of my mind distracting me once in a while however hard i try not to think about it. i'd think like maybe i should have talked about some things lesser, maybe i should have talked more about some other stuff, i should have given a more definite response and not say "i'm a bit of both", maybe i should have asked something more intelligent, maybe i should not have looked at 1 interviewer and neglect the other. u know, this kind of inane thoughts lingering.. it's frustrating mostly.

anyway. why am i talking about something so senseless in the first place?

finally had the chance to properly listen to the hellogoodbye song daryl sent me.. it .. gets nicer the more u play it i guess.


I like.. Where we are
When we drive.. In your car
I like where we are... Here

Cause our lips.. Can touch
And our cheeks.. Can brush
Oh our lips.. Can touch
Here

You are the one, the one that lies close to me
Whispers hello I miss you quite terribly
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
There’s no place else I could be, but here in your arms

I like... Where you sleep
When you sleep.. Next to me
Oh I like.. Where you sleep
Here

Our lips.. Can touch
And our cheeks.. Can brush
Cause our lips.. Can touch
Here

You are the one, the one that lies close to me
Whispers hello I miss you quite terribly
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
There’s no place else I could be, but here in your arms

"Here (in your arms)" ~ Hello goodbye

just finalised my answers for fixed-income paper. IE tmr. corp rep shall continue another. strat shall start another day. i am so screwed for strat.


------ Saturday, April 07, 2007

-mr dsakj329fds8 (encrypted)-

and so i've been asked who's mr ds327fdskjasd (encrypted) on my msn nick. well, he's mr alvarez! or he could very well be mr tan, or miss wee, or mdm de'souza or mrs smith or lady jonkovic or mr kim or sir blair for that matter. mr dswiuds932wqnjcd (encrypted) represents my future employer whose name and organisation i don't know. oh well.

u might be wondering what in the world was my previous post all about. well it's simply a description of the recent events that happened in my life using the pretext of having a conversation with mr alvarez hahaa. from IE presentation to egoistic project mates to studying for fixed income and the interview. (sneaky laugh).

anyway. mitch released the fixed income final paper on thursday and i think it's horrendously difficult. i am like totally unsure of all my answers except for question 1 and a tiny part of question 2.


Q1.
Consider a security where the coupon rate is determined by the following formula:
Coupon rate = Fixed rate - LIBOR rate
The coupon rate can therefore be either positive or negative.
(i) Is an interest rate Floor able to completely hedge/replicate the above contract?
(ii) If you thought LIBOR rates were going to fall, would you want to go long or short the above contract?


Q2.
Consider the following interest rate tree when (pi) = 0.5
(an interest rate tree is given)
(ii) What are the futures prices at time 1 (up and down state) for a contract on a bond which matures in 3 years when:
(b) The futures contract matures in 2 years?


Yeps that's about the parts of the 30% paper that I know how to solve.
ultimate sadness.


------ Thursday, April 05, 2007

-Here We Go-

Today's guest-of-honour is Mr Alvarez. Let's give him a round of applause.
[Fake studio audience applause is played]


Host: Welcome, Mr Alvarez, to the highly dysfunctional show called "Secret Island by the Seashore". Which actually is quite dumb considering an island already means a body of land surrounded by water. So, tell us more about yourself.

Mr Alvarez: [painful smile] Thank you. Well, I am Mr Alvarez. Which is actually quite dumb because I am already wearing a huge name tag on my coat. Which by the way, [yells: SECRETARY! take my coat!]. Yes. Well, I am the master-of-your-fate in this organisation that everyone is clamouring to join. I am a very important person, and I don't know why you invited me to be on your funny show today.

Host: Well, maybe I should lighten the atmosphere before we start. I heard that you were watching Champions' League football with a mortal early this morning?

Mr Alvarez: Wow news travel fast around here. Yes, yes, I watched football with a mortal early this morning. Roma won, hell yeah!

Host: Yeah but we did get an away goal with 10 men. We will kill you during the return leg at Old Trafford.

Mr Alvarez: [hollers] WHAT! IMPOSSIBLO! My neighbours the Italianos are so strong last night, did you not see? They were working so hard around the pitch!

Host: [voice lowers] Busy diving you mean. (whispers: Perrota got a yellow card for diving, it was so comical). And the referee was busy blowing whistles too huh?

Mr Alvarez: [hollers] BUT WE WON!

Host: Chill, Mr Alvarez! We got our away goal, so let's just wait and see how the 2nd leg goes. And it's not like it's Barcelona or any Spanish team who won. Oh. Sorry, I don't mean to remind you that your favourite Spanish teams are already out of Champions League.

Mr Alvarez: ...... You FUC-

Host: [interrupting] And yes, let's change the topic. There are kids watching this programme too, you know.

Mr Alvarez: [fuming] BUT-

Host: So, Mr Alvarez, why the sneaky actions lately? Why act so late?

Mr Alvarez: [smug look] Now we're talking. Well I told you I am the master-of-your-fate at the organisation everyone is clamouring to join. I'm playing with your emotions, don't you see? I'm sick and tired of seeing the masses of people joining the queue. I'm not giving out hello kitties with every happy meal purchase you know? Hello kitties queue was at least 5 years ago!

Host: .....

Mr Alvarez: I want to see who is bo-liao enough to monitor the index even as everyone is busy, what do you call that, mugging for silly examinations.

Host: Hear hear! Silly examinations! I have 3 + 1 papers myself. In fact, the + 1 paper just came out a few hours ago and I'm completely and utterly stuck at question 2.

Mr Alvarez: That's expected. You have a dumb face and a dumb show with a dumb show title. What else do you expect?

Host: I don't think there's a link here!

Mr Alvarez: The link's huge. Because I say so. Because I'm the MASTER-OF-YOUR-FATE at the organisa-

Host: Yes, yes I think we got that by now. Now tell me, what do I have to do to actually join your organisation? I need money, you know.

Mr Alvarez: [gives a cursory glance] Alright I'll give you an interview now. Let's start with a simple question. How many Keynesian economists does it take to screw in the lightbulb?

Host: That's easy. All! To ensure full employment.

Mr Alvarez: How many Classical economists does it take to screw in the lightbulb?

Host: None. The invisible hand will do it.

Mr Alvarez: [impressed look] Hmmm you're smarter than I thought. Are you on the Dean's List? What's GPA?

Host: Welllll. I am trying hard to get back onto the List. And GPA stands for Grade Point Average.

Mr Alvarez: .....

Host: Next question please.

Mr Alvarez: Who will win the English Premier League?

Host: That's easy, Manchester United will win it.

Mr Alvarez: Well yes, I agree with that too. Let's move on to a more difficult question then. The cow and the chicken were fleeing from the bank where they had just robbed. All they had to do was get to cross the freeway into the next state, and they will be free. When they reached the shoulder, the chicken stopped and told the cow to go ahead. The cow was puzzled and asked the chicken why did he stop. What did the chicken reply?

Host: Kao. What an easy question. The chicken said, "I'd love to run with you. But if I cross this road, a lot of questions will be raised. You better go ahead without me."

Mr Alvarez: Wow you're really smarter than I thought. I'm running out of questions to ask you. A finance question then. If the net present value of cashflows for a project exceeds zero, should I take up the project?

Host: Of course. Such an easy question.

Mr Alvarez: What does WACC stand for?

Host: Weighted average cost of capital. Next.

Mr Alvarez: What should you do with operating leases that gives the lessee the opportunity to purchase the asset at a large discount at the end of the lease?

Host: Capitalise it.

Mr Alvarez: If yield to maturity exceeds coupon rate, is the bond trading at a discount or a premium?

Host: Discount.

Mr Alvarez: If you were worried about interest rates rising, would you purchase a cap or a floor?

Host: Cap.

Mr Alvarez: Black-Scholes model assume which factor to be most critical when pricing equity options?

Host: Volatility of returns of stock prices.

Mr Alvarez: Name me 4 hedge parameters of the Black-Scholes model.

Host: Delta, Gamma, Vega and the useless Theta.

Mr Alvarez: Name me more Greek alphabets.

Host: Alpha, beta, zeta, eta, iota, lambda, pi, rho, sigma, omega, kap-

Mr Alvarez: Ok that's enough.

Host: Phew.

Mr Alvarez: I'm running out of questions to ask you. Now it's your turn to ask me something.

Host: How is your organisation expanding over the next coming years?

Mr Alvarez: Sideways. Look at the food we eat these days at the pantry. It's being stocked by Mark's and Spencer's now. It's marvellous. Much like our company motto, we're always a-round.

Host: ...

Mr Alvarez: Alright, your time is up. My secretary will let you know the result soon. [hollers] SECRETARY!!

Secretary: Congratulations, you are through to the 2nd round of interview, conducted by our Master Director next week. Same time, same place.

Host: ....

Mr Alvarez: Stop dotting. It makes you look dumb. [hollers] SECRETARY, where's my coat!!

Host: And we've come to the end of the show. My name is Host and let's thank our guest-of-honour, Mr Alvarez once again.

Mr Alvarez: [drowned by fake studio audience applause] Which is really dumb to tell everyone my name because I'm wearing my coat now and it has a big name tag on it and this show is so dum-

Host: security!

[Mr Alvarez is escorted out]


------ Wednesday, April 04, 2007

-this is a long post to vent my frustrations and you should really not read it unless you're interested to read about a fucked up project group mate-

u read the title, i'm not in a good mood.
all names are in * (each * represents 1 letter). i realise there are 2 S****. the one that comes under the ### part is different from the one that comes under the ## part.
the modules involved are Analysis of F****-I***** I********** (abbreviated as ##) and M********* of P***** at W*** (abbreviated as ###). figure it out yourself.

fucking hell, the nerve of him to write me that email.

the words in red are what i really wanted to say to him, but i didn't in the end.
horrible grammar and spelling are copied and pasted as per his email.


From: A**** N*******
Sent: Tuesday, 3 April 2007 9:02 PM
To: LIM Jiahui
Cc: S**** [someone else in the ## group]
Subject: Matters regarding ## assignment and ###


Hey Jiahui,

Was trying to find you but apparently you are still at the meeting. There are things that I want to talk to you objectively with regards to both assignment 6 and ###.

##
S**** told me about your concerns. Hence I feel the need to explain myself.
You said that you are hesitant to put my name to the assignment because I was not in the meeting. Apparently S**** and D***** did not say why I did not come and understandably because they thought it was not a big deal. (and thats how I usually work with them because at the end of the day, they know that I will get the job done).
i thought the basis for team work is that if someone is unable to make it, he explains his absence, and his friends relay that to the rest of the group. so i've been having a misconception all along. no wonder i only got a B+ for ltb.

I did not come because I have not understand the chapter and hence I do not want to go there and not being able to contribute (I mean whats the point of being there and not understanding whats going on).
you wouldn't know that, would u? since u weren't here for like half of the meetings.

Many at times, some people in the group do not read and they just sit down there waiting for answer and if not try to figure out the answer but to little avail. Only when we go home then we can understand about it and improve on it. Hence I feel it is better for me to use the day to read about it and so being able to double check all the answer.
GEEZ!! the whole point of doing group work is so you READ UP, come for meeting, and share what u know or clarify what you don't know right?

After reading and understanding, I asked P****** to pass me the hard copy and let me write it, because I am sure that I can do a good job for it. However she said no she can write it herself. (and she mentioned she had afa exam, which I understand and the more I want to type out the assignment so as to relieve her burden.... again she said dont need).
oh really? u wanna check with p****** and s**** about this? p****** said s**** asked her to do cos a**** didn't know he had to compile for it. which actually, if u were paying attention during assgn 5's meeting, u are supposed to compile. and oh, everyone was so surprised u didn't turn up for assgn 6's meeting.

So please look at the matter objectively, because I do not like to be accused of free-riding as any normal person would not like to be accused wrongly. I took the initiative to ask p****** to pass me the job (and not because I feel the need to contribute but because I feel i am in a position to understand both assignment 6 questions and answers myself) does this look like the attitude of a free-rider? All the time I was under the impression that im part of the group and the assignment will include me.
if that really happened, then you can argue that u are not a free-rider. but that didn't happen, did it?? who compiled the assgn in the end? p******. who edited and submitted? ME, U FUCKING MORON!
and i am not accusing u of being a free-rider. i am simply asking s**** for the opinion of the group if it's ok to leave your name IN. since the group had no opinion, you might want to notice that i LEFT YOUR NAME IN. is that the attitude of someone accusing another person of free-riding?

About the team. Me, D******, s****, and a few others bidded the class and decided to form a group. I just feel the need to clarify my expectation of a group.
As you can see, ## assignment is something you can do yourself if you understand, however the grouping helps facilitate understanding by asking the stronger person to help the weaker person. Hence the concept of the ## grouping (in my opinion) is to help each other and hence if there is someone that is unable to attend the meeting (due to whatever reason), that person will know that the group will be there for him. Off course if that person is constantly absent (or just sit down and wait for answer all the time) then he is free-riding. I helped out in a big way for assignment 1 and 2. I did looked through assignment 3 and 4. Assignment 5 frankly i did not understand then, and assignment 6 i asked p****** to pass me the hard copies of the discussion (you know the story). Of course having done a team job, I do not like to be said I did not contribute.
ok so total group contribution = 2 out of 6. u said it yourself. in case u were too busy "contributing" to the grp discussions during the sessions u were there (which really meant figuring out how to do the qns together with us anyway), you would see that everyone else was trying the qns at the same time, except for the few of us who actually attempted the qns BEFORE the meeting. and since u gave your opinion on what constitutes teamwork, let me contribute my opinion too. to me, those who are sitting there are the so-called "weaker" team members, hence they were not able to contribute that much. but the fact that they read up and actually made an effort to attend meetings make them good team members. then by your opinion, we have to help them right? you can go on about how strong you are in finance, but if by contributing, u mean not coming to meetings (bcos u have not read up) and then offering to type in whatever we wrote and include a diagram here and there, then it is as good as waiting for answers right?

The rest of the team which are my friends understand this and they have no qualms about putting my name. I do not know how you, H** y***, P****** feels since they were not my friends, however initially the team consists of me and the rest which I fully understand that they will not mind the way I work. I worked with S****, D****** and D***** before and they can attest towards my working style (our projects are all at least an A)
And hence I have the full confidence that they do not mind me not coming on that day.
ok noted. good that they do not mind the way you work. good for you.
and what are u trying to say? that if i have u in my grp, my project is guaranteed an A? that i am not good enough on my own?

The reason why in the first assignment that some names are not included was that they were not part of the team yet.
oh i see that's why h** y***'s and my names were left out (and we were told at last min) even though we discussed informally with the rest but really couldn't make it for meeting due to timing clashes. ahh we should have offered to type in whatever was written and add 2 diagrams in it then.

Btw, I looked through the email to check my tones... because this is seriously not meant to be flaming in nature. I like peace. Yup so I just want to explain myself (in case you find some things are offensive).
oh really!

###
I had to mention this since you mentioned this to S**** and again I feel the need to clarify myself. (yea I feel offended that my contributions are not recognized).
i did not mention about ### to s**** to use it against u for assgn 6 (which, may i remind, i am not using anything against anyone). maybe s**** misunderstood. in that case, it's my fault to mention "the other project". i was merely trying to say that maybe u had your problems to settle, like during "the other project". that's all i said.

I do not know what is your impression of my contribution to the team.
However let me help you recall... how many times did I not attend the meeting? I cant remember for sure but I believe only once for the scholar's presentation (correct me if im wrong). So does that means if a person do not attend one meeting, means he did not contribute? what if he is really busy with his personal stuff? not as if he did not produce the required work.
well, let me help you recall. you did not bother to explain your absence. and i believe during that time, it was really quite an urgent meeting since our presentation was what, 3 days away?

Yup, and I believe you might not know this.. since if I dont say who will say.... my sub team (me, s**** and j*****) have 10 pages for us to do... Guess how many I did? 9 pages... S**** was with me when I stayed in school on Wednesday from noon till 8 in the morning the next day to do ###.. and why? because one was permanently sick, the other has a multi-million business to take care off. I read research articles.. current issues in ###.. all just so that our sub-team part will do well.. So out of 25 pages how many I did? 9, so yeah did I slack for the team? Relatively, I feel I put in more than required (you can confirm with S****)
did you not think that reading up on ### theories and issues are part of ur job scope to write that report?!!!! oh and you might want to ask s**** for the submitted copy of your sub-team report. your efforts were laughable, to be polite. guess how many pages we did in the end? 25. one was not permanently sick and the other did not only care about his multi-million business. they were there in the library, editing till the very last min. editing the socks off your laughable attempt at the report. the reason s**** did not send out the final copy was that he was afraid of hurting your feelings. u want a copy of the report we submitted? i can send to you. let me assure you that it's quite different from the original 9 pages you wrote. you wanna take a look at our other report instead?
and oh if u want to compare the time we put in, we edited the report from thursday afternoon 4pm till friday morning 9am. nonstop. so don't come and kao peh about the time u put in.

So yeah, I am not happy that you implied to S**** that I slacked during ###... So I have to let you know because nobody likes to be accused wrongly. Yeap and I hope you are not offended since I just hope that there was a misunderstanding between your perception of my work.
i know that nobody likes to be accused. that's why i am not accusing anyone. i have got my facts clear before i brought up the ## issue with s****. i have got my facts clear about ### too. but i did not bring that issue up because i know nobody likes to be accused of anything.


On a final note, do let me know on what do you feel about the issue and if you think that our working style is too different, then it would be best for us to do the final exam separately.
why bother. this shit was stirred by me and i will end it. u guys can do ur fun final paper together. i don bliv u can get z**** to give u the answers. i only have 1 request, and it is that this has nothing to do with p****** and h** y***, and that you all continue to let them join the grp discussion.
and oh, u can use the SR that I BOOKED. i'm not that petty, really.

PS: I cc ed s**** in this so that he is in the loop about how i feel and think.
Please do not hesitate to forward to the P****** or anybody in the team to have their point of view.


Regards,
A****



I was so iffing pissed. but anw, here was my reply to him instead.


From: LIM Jiahui
Sent: Tue 4/3/2007 11:24 PM
To: A**** N*******
Cc: [everyone else in the ## group]
Bcc: J***** S**; L****** L**
Subject: RE: Matters regarding ## assignment and ###


Hi A****,

Thank you for the email to attempt to sort this out. I was at another project meeting (H** Y*** told me you came to look for me) then.

I would first like to say that I am not accusing you of anything. I was not trying to get your name left out. That was not my intention. I was asking S**** for the group's opinion if it's ok to leave your name IN. Kindly note the difference. As the group had no opinion on this, I included your name. It was not my intention to leave your name out.

Ok, now that we've got that clear, I think the issue here is our fundamental differences on what constitutes "group work". To me, group work means making an effort to read up, and then trying to contribute during group meetings. Group work is about coming together and achieving something together, instead of merely submitting something together. To me, I don't see anyone "not contributing" during meetings because I see them coming for all the meetings, trying to answer the questions, but maybe they weren't able to do that because they didn't understand something. But everyone's effort was there to see, for me at least. But that's only my opinion.

It's good that the rest are ok with your working style, I have no opinions with regards to that. But I do not understand what you are trying to mean by putting in that "A" comment.

As for the ### comment, I apologise if it was taken in the wrong way. I did not make any explicit reference to ###. All I said was "maybe you have your problems to settle, like in the other project". I realise now that it's natural you will take that to heart although that wasn't what I meant. For that misconception, I apologise.

As for report, I think that much as you don't like to be accused, it isn't nice to accuse one person of being "permanently sick" and the other having "multi-million business to take care of". Maybe you might want to take a look at the final report submitted to be more clear of their contributions to the project. Let me also assure you that I am not accusing anyone of anything, I am clear of the facts regarding ###.

As for letting the rest of the team know of this issue to ask for their opinions, I think it is only appropriate and it puts the whole issue out in the open to avoid any future misunderstandings. This issue was started by an idealistic me trying to get the group's opinion, and it will end with me. If there is 1 thing I am truly sorry about, it is that I have disrupted the team dynamics of this ## group and for that, I think it is best for me to pull out of the group discussion for the final paper.

I have only 1 last request, and it is that this issue is about me, and it has nothing to do with H** Y*** and P******. Thus, please continue to let them join in the discussion on Saturday. I will also understand if you prefer that they do not discuss your group's answers with me.

Jiahui



just my misfortune, i suppose.

[[.ran.]] 1:27 am

------ Tuesday, April 03, 2007

actually there has been quite a number of people who have told me that short hair suits me better. well, whether they actually mean it or not will be another matter i suppose.

anyway.


it's difficult to strike a balance. i suppose sometimes, it's better to just shut up but then again, it isn't nice to come across as being un-opinionated. how do u maintain a balance between voicing your opinion and keeping quiet (so that you don't come across as nitpicking on things)?

it's a constant struggle. and you can't really blame me for retreating then.

[[.ran.]] 5:37 pm

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Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

[[.ran.]] 1:07 pm

------ Monday, April 02, 2007

-stay where you are-

is it a good idea to remain status quo for so long? sometimes, it doesn't hurt to think big rite?

Hang around and I'm paranoid, I can't help but doubt
But I don't know what the people know, I want something to count

Just stay where you are - I'm right behind you
Stay where you are - If someone's looking
Stay where you are - I might not be the one, that's true
But I'm trying, don't you know

Rattle coins in a coffee can, you shut me on and off
Turn around, turn around, they're burning hotels down

So stay where you are - I'm right behind you
Stay where you are - I'm always looking
Stay where you are - I might not be the one, that's true
But I'm trying, don't you know

Don't hang on, but don't let go
Don't aim high, but don't aim low

"Stay where you are" ~ Ambulance Ltd


no it doesn't hurt to dream big i guess.
btw, i just rejected pareto. fingers crossed for repercussions from ocs.
sometimes, i do wonder how i will feel if i fail to get another internship for the summer. will i regret rejecting pareto?
i guess not. my aim now is to save money for exchange, and $600 a month is not helping much (considering i'm also spending another $120 to watch phantom). i guess doing temp or part time will earn me more money. hopefully?



credit: postsecret


on another note, week 13 is finally over. which means week 14 is finally here.
4 exams, 1 strategy report and 2 fixed income project papers to go!
fixed-income investments project papers - 10%
fixed-income investments take-home paper - 30%
international economics paper - 30%
strategy paper - 30%
corporate reporting paper - 40%
or in other words, 140 out of the 500 available percentage points left for grabs!

[[.ran.]] 3:32 pm

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-fly me to the moon-

I got my exchange application to ESC-Rouen! pending Rouen's acceptance, i'll be flying off in august for the edinburgh street festival and maybe old trafford to watch man utd before starting term in france! (old trafford currently unscheduled, depends on exactly when term starts!)

YAYYYYYYYYYY! out of singapore next term! out of smuuuuuu!!!!

[[.ran.]] 12:49 am

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