Saturday, December 29, 2007

that's it.. that part of me is over. i'm in paris yet again, this time for 2.5 days before heading to italy and the rest of my 1-month backpacking stint. now that i've checked out of rouen and i have no "home base" to return to, that i remembered how tough it is to live out of a backpack. it's heavy cos of the laptop, cos of all the things u have to bring along cos it's what u're gonna survive on for 1 month. i remember our first 3 weeks in the UK. haha it's deja vu i swear.

maybe i really will make a trip back to rouen on 24 jan, just to go back and be in that small french town again. though things will be different, the people are different, the feeling will be different, but it was my life for 4 months after all.

au revoir, rouen. and hello, europe.


------ Friday, December 28, 2007

i've just completed my check out about 45 minutes ago. this is it... i've left my room. i know i will miss my room. once i was chatting with huiting (she checked out 2 weeks ago) and she said that after she checked out and started travelling, then she realised she actually does miss rouen quite a bit. i already know i will miss rouen even before i check out. it's a small french town, and the ppl i've met here are some i'll remember for a long long time to come.

like i've said, i've left a part of myself here in rouen.


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it's really here.. my last night in rouen. there were so many things on my mind, but i think it's clearer now. this december is the month where i spent the longest time in rouen because of exams and various other reasons, so i guess it's a bit more emotional now that i am actually leaving this small french town tomorrow.

december in rouen... is something i will never forget. how can i? it really feels like i'm leaving a part of me in rouen, and it can never come back to me. a part of me is here, i think i'll never be the same again. just now, i received an sms from a friend, and it really set in that this is goodbye. and i was quite emotional, i nearly wanted to cry. this is goodbye.

i feel better now though, i've had tons of thoughts running through my head and now i'm ok =)



so on a completely different note, i'm more or less done with cleaning my room. it took an exhausting 4 hours to clean every nook and cranny of my 9 metres squared room, cos i don want them to deduct too much money from my deposit.
and today (28 dec) is actually huiying's birthday, and in traditional french way, we had some birthday macarons. too bad there isn't a whole bunch of us left to make it a big celebration..


alors, voila, c'est le dernière soir à Rouen.. au revoir mon amour, tu me manqueras...


------ Thursday, December 27, 2007

it's coming to an end in rouen.. i have to pack and clean my room thoroughly tonight. so many memories, so many events here, it's hard not to be a bit emotional. i can't imagine what it is like for the students who will be here for 1 year. but in a way, those who are here for 1 year are foreign students who stay on their own back in their hometown anyway.

i've come to admit what i've already suspected in myself.. that i already know a lot of things, but i chose to ignore them, to pretend they don't really exist and don't really matter. i just go ahead and do what i want to do, just because. it might not be the correct decision, but somehow i've managed to let myself think that it no big deal, and i don't even feel anything for it.

sometimes i wonder if there's anything wrong with my morals and my emotions. gonna clean my room now. write more later when i'm done with everything.


------ Tuesday, December 25, 2007

i thought i was gonna spend a quiet christmas eve night, maybe just with nao or something, but turns out it was quite an enjoyable christmas eve night with nao (from japan), marina (from russia), rajae (from morocco) and 4 chinese dorm mates.. it was enjoyable indeed..



nao and marina preparing to cook in the kitchen


our pasta sauce - courgettes, mushrooms, minced meat, onions and tomatoes



our dinner spread - there was even frog legs and fish, courtesy of the chinese students


lots of wine, staple of any decent meal in france (the beer went untouched)


with marina and nao




with the chinese students from wuhan and shanghai


nao the super lovable japanese girl


a group photo in my room..

we continued to hang out and drink more ahem, christmas wine, in my room after dinner.. by the time they left, i was real tired so i conveniently hopped into bed straight. it was quite a sight waking up to empty bottles in my already tiny room!

later nao and i and maybe some of her other friends are thinking of heading to la luna.. we shall see how!

MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone! if you are reading this entry, that means you must be family or a closer friend of mine (that or a secret admirer, which i think is unlikely).. pls know that you are in my thoughts this festive holidays.. bonnes fetes!


------ Monday, December 24, 2007

"One Headlight" ~ The Wallflowers

So long ago, I don't remember when
That's when they said I lost my only friend
They said she died easy of a broken heart disease
As I listened through the cemetery trees
I see the sun coming up at the funeral at dawn
The long broken arm of human law
Now it always seemed such a waste
She always had a pretty face
So I wondered how she hung around this place

Hey... come on try a little
Nothing is forever
There's gotta be something better than in the middle
But me and Cinderella, we put it all together
We can drive it home.., with one headlight

She said it's cold
It feels like Independence Day
And I can't break away from this parade
But there's got to be an opening
Somewhere here in front of me
Through this maze of ugliness and greed
And I seen the sun up ahead
At the county line bridge
Sayin' all there's good and nothingness is dead
We'll run until she's out of breath
She ran until there's nothin' left
She hit the end-it's just her window ledge

Hey... come on try a little
There's got to be something better than in the middle
But me and Cinderella, we put it all together
We can drive it home... with one headlight

Well this place is old
It feels just like a beat up truck
I turn the engine, but the engine doesn't turn
Well it smells of cheap wine & cigarettes
This place is always such a mess
Sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn
I'm so alone, and I feel just like somebody else
Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same
But somewhere here in between the city walls of dyin' dreams
I think her death it must be killin' me

Hey... Come on try a little, nothing is forever
There's got to be something better than in the middle
But me and Cinderella, we put it all together
We can drive it home... with one headlight


jakob dylan is a genius. an old song, but one that, again, brings back memories. ah well. maybe when nothing seems to go my way, all i have to do is to find someone who can drive it home with me with one headlight.

it's the festive season again but this year, amidst so much travelling, i don't feel very festive.


------ Saturday, December 22, 2007

back in rouen. it's been a long thursday and friday. at least, it feels long to me. so in a way, i'm glad to be back in rouen for a bit. even after all that have happened.

there was no strike in paris this week! it got cancelled apparently? hahaa i'm not complaining though. got back at noon today and my neighbours were all checking out. now, it's a mainly empty corridor.

went for a nice dinner downtown with desmond, dawn and zixuan. omg i cant believe the next time i see the 2 girls, it will be back in singapore already.. time passes way too quickly man. was talking to zi about what we are afraid of when we go back to singapore, and both of us reached the same conclusion - we really appreciate certain aspects of the french way of life, the way we now take time to really eat dinner and enjoy each other's company for 3 hours over food with no talk about work. and we are afraid that when we are back, it will just be too easy to slip back into the mundane rush of life, where work is the most important thing and family, friends, ideals and values get brushed away easily. it's like, we've experienced a good way to live life and really get to know the people around u, and we don't want to lose it. it's easy to say all we have to do is to make the effort but the thing about returning home is that it will be too easy to slip back to the way we were.

anyways. was starting to wash the laundry from the paris leg when this song started playing and oh man, with it came a lot of emotions and feelings. what a great song.


"Love will come through" ~ Travis

If I told you a secret, you won't tell a soul
Will you hold it and keep it alive
Cos it's burning a hole and I can't get to sleep
And I can't live alone in this life

So look up, take it away, don't look down the mountain
If the world isn't turning and your heart won't return
Anyone, anything, anyhow

So take me, don't leave me
Take me, don't leave me
Baby love will come through
It's just waiting for you

And you stand at the crossroads, of high roads and low roads
And I've got a feeling it's right
If it's real what I'm feeling, there's no make-believing
The sound of the wings of the flight of the dove
Take it away, don't look down the mountain

If the world isn't turning and your heart won't return
Anyone, anything, anyhow

So take me, don't leave me
Take me, don't leave me
Baby love will come through
It's just waiting for you

Love will come through
Love will come through
Love will come through


and as this exchange draws to an end, maybe i'll have a long emotional post about all that's happened, contemplate about how much i've seen, experienced and changed and ponder about the things to come. till then.


------ Friday, December 21, 2007

i am in paris again for a 5-day break. this is my 2nd time in paris (excluding the times where i transited thru paris), but this time, it is so different from the prev round. for one, i am a half guide for my friends this time. was with jem and huimin on the first nite, and we had some reallyyyy nice french food with charles near his place. then we brought them to trocadéro and champs-élysées at night. huimin left the next morning.

the next day, i brought jem on the notre dame-hotel de ville-chatelet route. then to the louvre where we took some real cool photos, will post them when i get them from jem. at nite, the shittiest thing happened to me - my contact lens tore. merde!!! so now i am wearing specs and contemplating if i shd get my parents to send me a fresh pair of lens. damnit.

this trip is also different emotionally. the first time around, we have just arrived in france and in europe in general, the excitement of travelling still fresh on my mind. travelling was carefree, and there was nothing to bother us. this time around, 3.5 months later, it feels different. so many things have happened (from my perspective at least) and sometimes it feels like i am carrying some baggage around, and my mind keeps drifting back to rouen - the people, the things that have happened, the things i have left to do, and how i am going to do them.
je ne sais pas.. c'est très compliqué parfois.
this trip in paris hasn't been that easy for me, thank goodness there was jeremy's nonsense to distract me sometimes.

ah well jem, i hope that this tour guide hasn't been too lousy this trip, and sorry for the sometimes bad sense of direction heh.


and as usual, thank you charles. tu a raison, je crois que je peux tomber amoureux de ton pays mais... maintenant, c'est un peu difficile à cause de beaucoup des choses. mais je vais essayer =)


------ Monday, December 17, 2007

finally done with all the exams and finished my part for the corp finance paper.. this week was pretty... happening.

ango party on wed.. lots of people turned up. it was supposed to be an asian party initiated by seung ik but of cos, many other ppl turned up. it was great fun. i've just uploaded the photos on facebook so i'm lazy to put them up here again.

dawn's birthday dinner on thursday. we had potato salad for starters, breaded brinjal, popcorn chicken and seafood fried rice (it was Excellent with the capital E) for mains, choclate fondue (!!!) for desserts and of course, the birthday cake. which was birthday macaroons. awesome. then we played charades and avalanche. so much food and drinks around, it's no surprise most people were pretty much knocked out by the end of the night. it was awesome.

desmond, huiying, huiting and i had our last official rouen dinner together in desmond's room together on friday. glutinous rice and tomyam soup, oh my good it tasted damn good!

buses went on strike in rouen, so we accompanied huiting to lug her luggage down mont st aignan to the gare for her train to paris. she has left rouen. we walked back up the hill. at night, hy and i walked down the hill again to go to a house party. in all, we changed houses 3 times. first house was so big, they once housed 150 people for a party. 2nd house was cramped till there was not much space to move around. 3rd house was actually the house of someone i know.
i walked back up the hill the next morning. damn i hate it when the buses are on strike.

yesterday was man utd vs liverpool! we watched at ango. it was an excellent 1-0 victory, i can't ask for more. owen hargreaves and rio ferdinand were in top form.

going down to paris later. will be leaving my luggages at charles' place for january. this time, will be meeting jem and huimin for a bit in paris. paris is going on strike on thursday argh... i just hope i will have a train back!


------ Tuesday, December 11, 2007

update about berlin trip! extremely long post ahead!

berlin was really kinda dramatic for us cos it snowed while we were there, and i was totally unprepared for it! we expected real cold weather thanks to many reminders from different friends, but we didn't expect snow..

huiting and i stopped by Dunkin Donuts for a coffee (we really needed coffee then)..


it was really nice weather, just a little chilly..

we went to the toilet, and it started raining...


i was still wondering how come rain drops are so huge in berlin, and the next thing i know..


it started snowing!



we were totally caught out by the cold, so much so that i started using a scarf as makeshift protection for my ears.


i look like a terrorist.


dramatic snow aside, berlin is a city seeped in history. in particular, the World War 2. it is everywhere. from the holocaust to the concentration camp to the division of germany to the reunification of germany, everything happened in berlin. to their credit, they face up to their past as part of moving forward.

the history of berlin in a snapshot:
adolf hitler used berlin as his "base" during WW2. he made decisions in berlin and his bunker was in berlin. he made use of a fire in the parliament building to put the blame on communists and persuaded the dying chancellor to give him the power to rule germany. he promised to stamp out communism and bring germany to democracy. which, as we all know now, is bullshit. then, germany was still crippled by the versailles treaty of the WW1, which required them to pay for the damage done during WW1. Hitler at that time, was a strong character who looked like he has the answers to germany's problems. with his charisma, he particularly had the support of the women. together with the opportunity of blame communism as a threat to germany, he manage to get power in germany.

once in power, he began the works that will eventually launch WW2, which we are all too familiar with now. he attacked poland, which provoked the war with britain and france. he also wanted to create a superior race- the aryan race of german whites. abroad, the german army began to conquer countries to expand their empire and spread the superior seed, part of which includes handpicking model germans and relocating them to the conquered lands so that they may take root there. at home, the jews and those regarded as "enemies of the state" - the handicapped, people of other ethnic origins, people suspected of being spies and the gays - were sent to concentration camps where most of them died of starvation and maltreatment. in total, over 6 million jews and 1 million enemies of state were murdered in this holocaust, some in the concentration camps, some in gas chambers.

germany's ambitions were finally thwarted when they attempted to conquer russia. the bitter winter was to be their downfall and the russians were able to force them away from eastern europe and back into germany. on the other side of europe, the successful d-day landings in normandy meant that the allied forces were able to force germany out of most of western europe. realising defeat is imminent, hitler infamously committed suicide.

and so, the war in europe ended. the americans, the british, the french and the russians divided germany into 4 occupation zones so that germany will not be able to gather military strength. the capital, berlin, being hitler's base, was also similarly divided into 4 zones. in 1949, the 3 western zones united to form the federal republic of germany (FRG, aka west germany), while the communist german democratic republic (GDR, aka east germany) was formed in the russian zone, with east berlin as its capital (berlin itselft was split into 4 zones). to stop the mass emigration of people from east to west germany, the GDR built a wall around west berlin in 1961 to close the borders.

the wall of course, is known as the Berlin Wall, from which spanned many stories of the "death strip" and of escapes from east to west germany. finally on 9 nov 1989, the wall opened and in 1990, germany was reunified.

wow long history hahaa.. pictures up!


brandenburg gate, the main gate dividing east and west berlin.


memorial to the jewish who died in the holocaust


the ground is uneven and each column is of different height to disorientate u, alluding to the difficult life the jews led.


beneath this ugly-looking carpark (but with some really nice cars) was the former site of hitler's bunker


one of the many bullet-riddled buildings still standing in berlin


part of a surviving stretch of the berlin wall. look towards the bottom right of the picture where a line of rectangles were paved on the floor. that was where another wall stood, within the east berlin zone, and the land in between the 2 walls was the "death strip".


the death strip.. escapees from east to west berlin caught at the death strip were shot without question. hence, the name.


the famous checkpoint charlie which was the division between east and west berlin.




and the famous notices


another stretch of the berlin wall in central berlin


berlin wall documentation center


a view of the death strip


a peek into the death strip between the panels of the wall


east side gallery, the longest surviving stretch of the wall (1.3km), with graffiti




notice that the berlin wall is actually really ugly (didn't expect it to be nice in the first place)


we went to the sachsenhausen concentration camp. by about 1945, over 200000 prisoners passed through here. about half died here. after the war, the soviets and the communists leaders of east germany used this camp for their own undesirables.


an electric fence, behind which are poles where escapees are tied by their hands and subject to torture.


where roll calls and executions are held


barracks 38 and 39 housed the most prisoners


communal toilet within barrack 38


camp prison, where prisoners are subject to sensory depravation and isolation


execution chamber


behind this fence lies mass graves for the victims of the camp


the floor of the infirmary, protected by glass panels now


the whole camp just presents a picture of isolation and desolation, and the aura surrounding it is that of despair.

actually it reminded me of my visit to the pol pot camp in phnom penh, cambodia. i have to say that the pol pot one was much more disturbing, but anyways.

we also made a trip to the jewish museum, which tells us for the Xth time the way jews were treated from time immemorial. they were marginalised, made to wear the star of david to identify themselves as jews, they can only practise a limited number of professions and come the war, they were the targets of the holocaust. the more interesting exhibits include:


extract from the book of illumination. the Book of Illumination is the earliest work of Kabbalah, a tradion of Jewish mysticism. it elaborates on the most important Kabbalistic ideas in the form of biblical commentary. 1 of its central concepts is that of the 10 divine spheres called sefirot, knowledge of which can only be acquired from the Bible. due to the Bible's many hidden meanings, every word and letter should be examined and is open to different interpretations.


jewish equivalent of the horoscope


looks familiar? hoping to escape poverty and hunger, Rebecca Strauss emigrated from Buttenheim in Bavaria to America in 1847, where her youngest son started selling cloth to California's gold diggers. together with a tailor, he developed a new kind of rugged work pants: jeans with copper rivets. his name? Levi Strauss.


the words might be blurred due to the reflection from the glass panel protecting the manuscript, but i think u'll have no problems identifying this with the english translation:


look at the last line, formula 26. alternatively, the answer is in the title of page. this was how Albert Einstein derived his famous theory of relativity: E=mc(squared).



and finally, this is how u can translate english to hewbrew and vice versa. hebrew is read from right to left. wait. .tfel ot thgir morf daer si werbeh.


this is my name in hebrew. let me know if u manage to figure out how it is done, cos i still can't!


ok enough of the history, let's move to the present in berlin.

it snowed a lot in berlin..


view from my hostel

after the snow abated, we went to the parliament building..


the impressive parliament building affords views of berlin from the top rotunda.


unfortunately the views weren't too good because of all the rain and snow.




don't be fooled by the exuberant smiles, we were actually really cold.


and last but not least, food in berlin! food in berlin is generally pretty affordable, we were eating 1 euro bratwurst and curry wurst almost everyday i swear.


nice dinner at a nice restaurant.. the self-brewed beer was excellent


clockwise from top left: roasted pork with bacon and potato dumpling, sauerkraut, eating a cheap meal in at our hostel, the array of food: currywurst, burger, bratwurst, schnitzel and of cos beer!


berlin, to me, is a beautiful city precisely because it chooses to acknowledge its past. history is permanent, and history is tangible. history is what makes us move forward.


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